Misbah-Abd
Elite Member
- Messages
- 494
- Reaction score
- 8
- Gender
- Male
- Religion
- Islam
Well....I am sorry. But all these man hating have went into my tole. Mentally I am permanently looking at marriage as something toxic for a man and he have no significant value at all, especially as a father and such I really can't see myself wanting to ever get married. I re-programmed myself to not needing women period and children and I am happy. This happiness I am getting I will never replace it for anything in this world and now I am only focusing on myself and it feels good. My heart beat with range and anger when society are pushing men to sacrifice for women and children, I hate that and I resent it and I get angry. When I see men singing songs for their wife I vomit, believing him to be weak. When I see him making poetry to his dead wife I resent it. I look at myself, here is my gender whose heart is broken for his dead wife where if it was reverse the wife will move on and not care for her dead husband as much as he does for her. Then I remember how Adam have his rib missing so he needs his wife more than she needs him when she doesn't have any rib missing and I feel down, I feel weak and I feel resentful in a way. I like talking this feelings out..perhaps it is way to remove these toxic thoughts from my head who knows, but I also like talking about it because I need someone to shed light on me, I don't want to these feelings to be my down fall when I die. I am revealing a little bit of my diseased heart perhaps..I don't know. But for me getting married is impossible now. It is irreversable and the more I hear women talk, the more I see how children treat their dads and how that is common and the more I see how media portray men, the more I go down to my knees, raise my hand high and weep and say, "THANK YOU ALLAH! THANK YOU THAT I AM SINGLE! Thank you Allah, that I do not have a wife! Thank you Allah, that I am not married. Thank you Allah that I do have not children! Thank you!!" and I mean it in my inner heart.
The more I go older the more I am happier single, the more I am happier with the quiet around me, the more I am happy with the toys I have!!The more I am content. I have always wanted to make dua to Allah to give me strength not to need women in my life and in my heart....and it feels gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
not to need anyone!!! I find men needing women to be weak, weak, weak, weak, weak!
And how do you cope with sexual urges if you don't need a woman? Either you are doing haram or you turned into an asexual male.