The Marriage Thread

With all due respect sis, and I mean respect dont get me wrong. There are quite a few people who have complained and/or said things that reek of western feminist views. .
:sl: sis
I've been back to page 17 of the thread and still haven't found the posts of those quite a few people who have said things reeking of Western feminist views (apart from one person who said pages back that he was playing devil's advocate). I've obviously missed them somewhere....
 
Sorry but this thread is getting a bit boring with these one line jokes between a few people. :hmm:

Everyones welcome to post, if they've got something of substance to say on the topic of marriage...
 
Sorry but this thread is getting a bit boring with these one line jokes between a few people. :hmm:

Everyones welcome to post, if they've got something of substance to say on the topic of marriage...

Sorry sister :embarrass............. i had a question about marriage so i'll repeat it again for those who mite of miss it erm

I read that The marriages between Muslim men and CERTAIN non-Muslim women is allowed. However, certain restrictions exist on such marriages, especially if they occur in non-Muslim lands where Islamic law and religion is not
prevailing. If what i read is correct then what are those restriction that exist on the marriage?

Anyone direct me to a respectable source where i can find those answers or answer it? Really would help me thanx :statisfie
 
Sorry but this thread is getting a bit boring with these one line jokes between a few people. :hmm:

Everyones welcome to post, if they've got something of substance to say on the topic of marriage...

Sorry sisimsad

Well, what about the meaning of rings in an Islamic marriage? Is there any? Do Muslims get married in a mosque? Do you have a reception/dinner party?
 
^
That is a good question hopefully someone can answer it.

There is a large population of people who are of Swiss heritage in my town. They still dress and follow the rules of their church. They wear NO jewelery, not even wedding bands. They also do not have large parties for their weddings, they just have a family dinner with their close family members.

Personally, I dont mind just having a band that will signify to others that I am married. In Albanian culture we wear it on our left hands. Western cultures wear it on their left because it has been suggested, i dont know if its true, that a main artery is connected to the left arm directly to that finger or something along those lines.
 
Sorry sister :embarrass............. i had a question about marriage so i'll repeat it again for those who mite of miss it erm

I read that The marriages between Muslim men and CERTAIN non-Muslim women is allowed. However, certain restrictions exist on such marriages, especially if they occur in non-Muslim lands where Islamic law and religion is not
prevailing. If what i read is correct then what are those restriction that exist on the marriage?

Anyone direct me to a respectable source where i can find those answers or answer it? Really would help me thanx :statisfie

:sl: brother
That's ok.
Muslim men are allowed to marry Jews and Christians, and you are right about restrictions.
This is what Islamqa says
With regard to marrying a Christian or Jewish woman, this is permissible according to the text of the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends”

[al-Maa’idah 5:5]

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

It is permissible to marry a woman from the People of the Book. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste [muhsan] women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time”

[al-Maa’idah 5:5]

Muhsan here means chaste; the same word is also used in Soorat al-Nisa’ to describe married women, who are forbidden in marriage to anyone else. And it was said that the chaste women to whom marriage is permitted is free women, so slave women from the People of the Book are not permissible. However, the first view is the one which is correct, for several reasons…

The point is that Allaah has permitted us to marry chaste women from among the People of the Book, and the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that. ‘Uthmaan married a Christian woman, as did Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah; and Hudhayfah married a Jewish woman.

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ahmad said: I asked my father about a Muslim man who married a Christian or Jewish woman. He said: I do not like for him to do it, but if he does, then some of the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that too.

Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah, 2/794, 795.

Although we say that it is permissible, and we do not doubt that there is a clear text concerning that, nevertheless we do not think that a Muslim should marry a kitaabi woman (a woman of the people of the Book), for several reasons:

1 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is that she should be chaste, but there are very few chaste women to be found in those environments.

2 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is that the Muslim man should be in charge of the family. But what happens nowadays in that those who marry women from kaafir countries marry them under their laws, and there is a great deal of injustice in their systems. They do not recognize a Muslim’s authority over his wife and children, and if the wife gets angry with her husband she will destroy his household and take the children away, with the support of the laws of her land and with the help of their embassies in most countries. It is no secret that the Muslim countries have no power to resist the pressure of those countries and their embassies.

3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged us to look for Muslim wives who are religiously committed. If a woman is Muslim but is not religiously committed and of good character, then the Muslim is not encouraged to marry her, because marriage is not simply the matter of physical enjoyment only, rather it is the matter of Allaah’s rights and the spouse’s rights, and preserving his household, his honour and his wealth, and bringing up his children. How can a man who marries a kitaabi woman be certain that his sons and daughters will be raised according to Islam when he is leaving them in the hands of this mother who does not believe in Allaah and associates others with Him?

Hence even though we say that it is permissible to marry a kitaabi woman, it is not encouraged and we do not advise it, because of the negative consequences that result from that. The wise Muslim should choose the best woman to bear his children and think in the long term about his children and their religious upbringing. He should not let his desire or worldly interests or transient outward beauty blind him to reality; true beauty is the beauty of religious commitment and good morals.

He should realize that if he forsakes these type of women for the sake of that which is better for his religious commitment and that of his children, Allaah will compensate him with something better, because “Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than that, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us, the one who speaks the truth and does not speak of his own whims and desires. Allaah is the source of strength and the One Who guides to the Straight Path.
From: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/45645/marriage%20to%20jews%20and%20christians
:sl:
 
Does anyone want to discuss what the ideal Islamic wedding would be? How it should be done? What types of celebration are permitted? etc

Sis InsaneInsaan, I have a bit of dry/sarcastic humor dont be offended please.
The complaints were not just in here, but in other threads and in general what I have observed. I am not grouping everyone of course. Mashallah many in here know exactly what a marriage should be and do their utmost to be the best wives and husbands.
;)
 
Sorry sisimsad

Well, what about the meaning of rings in an Islamic marriage? Is there any? Do Muslims get married in a mosque? Do you have a reception/dinner party?
That's ok.

There's no exchanging of rings in an Islamic wedding. Rings have no role in the Islamic marriage process.

It is preferable to get married in a mosque.

And although the brides family traditionally has a meal prepared at the wedding (nowadays), Islamically there was only one meal for a marriage, which was given by the groom at the walimah, a reception hosted by him after the wedding. In Islam great compassion is shown to the bride's family, as they are losing their pride and joy, their daughter, and so they are not expected to fork out extra fortune on top of that....
 
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How to overcome the fear and embarrassment of declination when looking for a spouse.. any tips shukran

..sisters just sit behind closed door in their rooms and peek out of the door opening with one eye when a male potential comes to the house and if she doesn't like him she then sends a signal by a way of bulging out the one eye and raising the eyebrow ''i dont want that dude!....''

so how does one handle that sort of situation better?
 
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Sister Insane Isaan...i think it was you, im pretty sure at least..that posted that book that can be read in a pdf file about the islamic marriage and how it should be done...i just read through it and thank you so much for posting it! May Allah swt reward you for it.
 
Sorry sisimsad

Well, what about the meaning of rings in an Islamic marriage? Is there any? Do Muslims get married in a mosque? Do you have a reception/dinner party?

I can only answer you with what I know and what is done here in my country (tradition/culture).

Engagement usually lasts about 3 - 6 months or 6 - 12 months, depends on the couple - sometimes it is longer due to working hard to save up money for the wedding.

We either get married at home or in the mosque. Usually, it is done on the bride's side - a mosque nearby or her house. There will be food for the guests after the akad nikah.

The following week, there will be reception on groom's side or sometimes 2 weeks later.

Depends on the couple, there will be reception for friends on one day/night and one more for family and relatives.

Most weddings are done lavishly and with lots of people.

Rings are a must for both sides. One engagement ring and a wedding band for the bride and same thing goes for the groom. As for the meaning, for the couple it could be two souls binding together and some mushy romantic stuff like that.
 
I can only answer you with what I know and what is done here in my country (tradition/culture).

Engagement usually lasts about 3 - 6 months or 6 - 12 months, depends on the couple - sometimes it is longer due to working hard to save up money for the wedding.

We either get married at home or in the mosque. Usually, it is done on the bride's side - a mosque nearby or her house. There will be food for the guests after the akad nikah.

The following week, there will be reception on groom's side or sometimes 2 weeks later.

Depends on the couple, there will be reception for friends on one day/night and one more for family and relatives.

Most weddings are done lavishly and with lots of people.

Rings are a must for both sides. One engagement ring and a wedding band for the bride and same thing goes for the groom. As for the meaning, for the couple it could be two souls binding together and some mushy romantic stuff like that.

Thats not an all muslim procedure. Dont agree with the ring part. Isnt a muslim thing as somebody posted earlier.

MashaAllah way to go brother ....country girl ,Pocahontas and bush girl are names that are given to wonder women who have perfected cordiality ...one might use sandals to sweep up vomit the other might use her bare hands but they all achieve one thing.. they always make you feel mellow inside :)

Know about the bushgirltype, that changes as they leave the "bush-environment" and enter the Western world.
Then a huge cultureshock appears. Causes them to be more "reserved". If you wanna marry a bushgirltype you should make hidrjah seriously. Dont wanna ruin your dream seriously but you should think this over.
 
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★ηαѕιнα★;1297455 said:
Thats not an all muslim procedure. Dont agree with the ring part. Isnt a muslim thing as somebody posted earlier.

We can agree to disagree :)

That's how it is done here - it's called tradition. For men it is 'sunat', just as long as it is not gold. The ustaz is right there to witness.
 
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★ηαѕιнα★;1297455 said:
Know about the bushgirltype, that changes as they leave the "bush-environment" and enter the Western world.
Then a huge cultureshock appears. Causes them to be more "reserved". If you wanna marry a bushgirltype you should make hidrjah seriously. Dont wanna ruin your dream seriously but you should think this over.

I already thought about this...i fear the threat of her being homesick and if she will adapt or not.....
 
★ηαѕιнα★;1297455 said:
Thats not an all muslim procedure. Dont agree with the ring part. Isnt a muslim thing as somebody posted earlier.

Yeah i was going to say that to its all about tradition and culture..... these days south asian people decide to take there idea's of wedding from Hindu wedding e.g. large hall hired, Dhol drummers etc etc alot of the stuff you see in those soap opera on Star Plus ends up in our weddings LOL.


★ηαѕιнα★;1297455 said:
Know about the bushgirltype, that changes as they leave the "bush-environment" and enter the Western world.
Then a huge cultureshock appears. Causes them to be more "reserved". If you wanna marry a bushgirltype you should make hidrjah seriously. Dont wanna ruin your dream seriously but you should think this over.

True say ^^^^^^^
 
Islamically, what is obligatory for the guy to pay for in regards to the walimah, nikah and everything else of customs (or of the sunnah) that people tend to carry out?
 
I already thought about this...i fear the threat of her being homesick and if she will adapt or not.....

Its gonna be scary for her as well. She will go from a small world, like the village she lives in to a modern city with all the hectic stuff, traffic and stuff.
In the desert its soo calm and full of animals in stead of noise and vehicles.
Personally a desert sounds wonderfull to me. People knowadays take trips to get away from the hectic life.
Have you talked to her about this? Maybe you should take her to England for a holiday, like a week or two, to let her see what its all about before she moves to live there. See how she finds it and all. Or you could stay with her in the city of the country she lives in for a while before coming to England. Make the transition a bit smoother than: desert/ small Arab village -> big Western city. Affects her naiveness and pureness as well I guess, the big journey. As western customs often "polute" people.
 
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★ηαѕιнα★;1297480 said:
Its gonna be scary for her as well. She will go from a small world, like the village she lives in to a modern city with all the hectic stuff, traffic and stuff.
In the desert its soo calm and full of animals in stead of noise and vehicles.
Personally a desert sounds wonderfull to me. People knowadays take trips to get away from the hectic life.
Have you talked to her about this? Maybe you should take her to England for a holiday, like a week or two, to let her see what its all about before she moves to live there. See how she finds it and all. Or you could stay with her in the city of the country she lives in for a while before coming to England. Make the transition a bit smoother than: desert/ small Arab village -> big Western city. Affects her naiveness and pureness as well I guess, the big journey. As western customs often "polute" people.

thats a very good idea mashaAllah i should slowly introduce to her the western way of living. The other thing is if i bring her to the UK it means i have to provide for her whole family but inshaAllah khair.

i shouldnt say bushgirl her name is shafia
 
thats a very good idea mashaAllah i should slowly introduce to her the western way of living. The other thing is if i bring her to the UK it means i have to provide for her whole family but inshaAllah khair.

i shouldnt say bushgirl her name is shafia

Jep know about that as well. You should work hard at school! How big is the family?
Was gonna comment on the "bushgirl" thing yes, though she isnt her its disrespectfull. Guess this time you were first, no arguement this time;D
Anyway you should also beware of the fact that some familys abroad intentionally want their daughters and sons to marry someone abroad so they will have income. This means they can act all nice and stuff and when you guys are married they show their true face. Just think this trough carefully.
Inshallah she will be a very good wife to you though. I sincerily hope, for your sake, shes a joker. ;D
 

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