The Marriage Thread

[Danah]

Re: expensive weddings

but if you're borrowing and begging for the expense, that's just dumb and shortsighted.

I know some people borrow from the bank huge amount of money for extravagant wedding parties and end up living a poor life to pay debts for few years later.

Imagine you have your kids already and you are still paying your debt for your marriage with their mom!!! that is a clear stupidity!

 

[YusufNoor]

Re: expensive weddings

I am not a Mulsim so why would I have an Islamic wedding? I had a kifir wedding remember;D

as usual, you think every post in this forum needs you input. i don't know why.

You complain and condem any one spending more than you would. What gives YOU the right???

i'm pointing out that one should follow the Qur'an and the sunnah. this is what a Muslim should do. as a kaffir, you seem to have no idea what i am talking about. you really do seem to waste your time here.

How do you know what we can and can't afford? I am sure that for every dollar that was spent $2 went to a charity! If we and or he (Another kifir !!!) can afford that wedding he can surely afford to donate 5 times that amount to the church.

If one is stupid enough to spend insane amounts of money on a wedding they can't afford or takes away from tithing, than i totally agree with you. But DO NOT condem me because i (we)can afford it!

God be with you.

Peace be upon those who follow the guidance,

i'm not condemning you, nor the sister. i was using the amounts that you posted to comment on.

as Muslims it is our duty to follow the Qur'an and the Sunnah, not some ignorant kuffars, not some ignorant "culture" nor any other excuse one might have. as you can see in this thread, the simple idea of following the Qur'an and the Sunnah in this thread appears to stupefy some Muslims. they cannot comprehend how they would deal with their family if they did. this needs to be changed.

I know really! He doesn't get it.

it's not my goal to learn to do things not in accordance with the Qur'an and the Sunnah, nor to try to impress people who "pretend" to be "friends" with Muslims.

i am satisfied with taking advice from scholars like the Mufti of Zimbabwe, Ismail Menk, among others. i will follow his advice, when it follows the Qur'an and the Sunnah, and i will recommend to others to do likewise. i would consider that to be a successful way of life.

:wa:

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

I'm not sure if this is allowed to be posted according to IB rules and regulations, but here's my observations of the topic of marriage in this day and age.

It's definitely a hot topic. Marriage Seminars attract a lot of people. You'll notice on IB alone how thriving those threads regarding marriage are.

Yet, people take it lightly.

I may be a bit young, but that shouldn't mean I shouldn't talk about marriage.

Like my teacher was asking me my plan of my life. So I mentioned a few goals I have in mind, and then I mentioned "And then I also want to get married." That's when my teacher and the students around started laughing. I mean, really, it's something that should be kept in mind. You don't want to be stepping into the wrong path.

At any rate, I also think it's important to get married young. Not too young. You should have a degree or some financial and educational background first. Whether you admit it or not, marriage may pull you down.

My teacher, Mufti Ridwan Ahmed, said that marriage is like an anchor. ... And a child is another anchor.

So yeah. That's all I got to say.

Don't worry Rashad, I got your back on this thread man :shade:

Man bro, you remind me of myself when I start to have the guts to talk about marriage with my friends. I too had to justify to myself that I was right in thinking about it

But I completely agree with you - you should most definitely keep marriage in mind.

I know it won't be wise telling you that some time back we had a complete section something like "Marriage in Islam".

I wonder your thread will meet the same fate as of that section, which will be fair. :X

You know, I always was for bringing that section back hew

If you're getting married, than so am I. We're the same age, and what's fair for one is fair for all.

How to find the right person? ...Parents? :X Though, that could be an odd channel though for some. It'll limit your choice one of your uncle's daughters.

Not the case in my scenario, though.

Factors of consideration...

Well, all I have to say to that one is... You're thinking more deeply than I am lol. I just wanted to brush in this subject. Otherwise, I got at least 5 years to go. ;D

WHen I started thinking of marriage, i thought I had some 10 years to go..believe me, as the days pass by the number of years starts to decrease quite rapidly

Another thing is to utilize this time to read up on marriage, listen to lectures and prepare yourself for it even if its sometime down the line. It's wise to prepare yourself for it.

Parents make it so hard :mmokay:

Tell me about it. :ermm:

I've been thinking about this lately, and maybe it's distracting me too much! If I see a sister for example or know of someone and I think maybe for whatever reason we might be compatible, how would I pursue that? :/

Should I just leave the whole thing to my parents...?

Go through a friend of hers to see whether the girl you're interested in is compatible/interested/etc - basically to get information on her. If you like the info, then you can take another step.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Lol ok you guys are bringing back my thoughts on marriage...I basically subjugated this idea coz of my mom :mmokay:

 

[Re.TiReD]

lol masha'Allah. I really got nuffin to say >< but may Allah (swt) make it easy for all those who are in search of their 'garment', and may Allah (swt) give you the wisdom to know when you're ready ameen.

 

[Asiyah3]

Marriage is a huge taboo, unfortunately (Not like I'm planning to get married tomorrow anyway, lol)

 

[Esther462]

I've been thinking of getting married but there aren't many muslims where I live. I'm also quite young, even though my sister-in-law is 3 months older than me and she's married to my brother. My mother wants me to marry for love not just faith.

 

[Hayfa]

Re: expensive weddings

I know someone who spent less than £10, Alhumduilah

 

[aadil77]

Re: expensive weddings

I know someone who spent less than £10, Alhumduilah

I swear you must be missing some zero's on that figure

Did they invite anyone for dinner? I hope they didnt expect others to bring food

 

[aadil77]

i need a wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy

oh sorry , was i thinking out loud lol

daymm me too bruvverr

its taken over my minddd :shade:

 

[aadil77]

I've been thinking about this lately, and maybe it's distracting me too much! If I see a sister for example or know of someone and I think maybe for whatever reason we might be compatible, how would I pursue that? :/

Should I just leave the whole thing to my parents...?

Best thing is too forget them, theres too many 'compatibles' around here in leicester whether you see them in town, in the shops or wherever, you just know theres no real way to pursue em lol

Explain it to an imam, someone well connected in the community, they'll sort you out

Also don't worry about what your mum says, I've told my mum in a jokin way nd I keep remindin her to look for me lol. If you make it clear you've got the right intentions, they will understand

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Once my granny reffered to a guy to my sister and she responded something to her. Then she referred to me and I said "He doesn't even pray". Then afterwards my sister came and complained to me what the heck I was doing :X

Oh and one time I was a bit frustrated and said in front of my parents "I can't wait till I get rid of this place". Then my dad said Should I take you to x (=our home country) and give you into marriage. I responded quickly without thinking and meaning it, yes. You can't imagine how my mother fell down to the floor along my grandmother and my father bursting into laugh uncontrollably like for a quarter of an hour.

Then occasionally my granny suddenly burst into laughing and she always reminds me of it. And sis when hearing of it: "You serious? How could you say that? How can you even consider answering something related to marriage?"

To sum up marriage is a huge taboo, unfortunately (Not like I'm planning to get married tomorrow anyway, lol)

lol sis I wont guess but as per Pakistani families, when it usually comes to a girl it's a taboo definitely :/ Like my mom thinks it's shameful if i mention it in front of my dad. Hello0o0 I'm gunna marry sooner or later. Honestly I don't get this cultural mentality :exhausted. My bro speaks up straight out when it's concerning me lol and im like thank Allah you're my brother! In my head of course. He knows I want too...so it's like he's my voice sometimes. lol bless x

Anyway I know how u feel. Out of sarcasm my parents will say something relating to marriage and I give a serious answer. Why? I feel it's my best opportunity to get my point across :/ I'm not a kid anymore ya know...I'm at that age now.

 

[Asiyah3]

lol sis I wont guess but as per Pakistani families, when it usually comes to a girl it's a taboo definitely :/ Like my mom thinks it's shameful if i mention it in front of my dad. Hello0o0 I'm gunna marry sooner or later. Honestly I don't get this cultural mentality :exhausted. My bro speaks up straight out when it's concerning me lol and im like thank Allah you're my brother! In my head of course. He knows I want too...so it's like he's my voice sometimes. lol bless x

Anyway I know how u feel. Out of sarcasm my parents will say something relating to marriage and I give a serious answer. Why? I feel it's my best opportunity to get my point across :/ I'm not a kid anymore ya know...I'm at that age now.

Very true sister. At least you can talk to your mom I can't really say the same, but I undrestand my mother's position. I haven't completed my studies yet and she has always taught us to appreciate and concentrate on our studies and afterwards consider marriage.

Lol My brothers are also undrestandable and praise be to Allah they try to follow the prophet's SAAS teachings :statisfie Love them <3 Al-hamdulilLah who guided them to this rational way of thinking like they really count the guy's religious commitment and character and not pointless stuff as nationality etc.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Well my mom says the same, complete your studies. I understand where she comes from as well but like...still lol. It's nothin shameful :S Just cause imma girl. My bro says it and its no biggie lol. They're all like happy shappy, smiling and all. If I say anythin it's like :O omg! lol. Grrrr whatever.

MashaAllah for ur bros...my bros arent practisin : (

 

[Beardo]

Guys, save me from being beaten by the staff and keep this thread extremely Halaal. I made this thread partially to prove to the staff that a Marriage thread can be kept Halaal and beneficial. Maybe I can convince them to make a FORUM for marriage. :hiding:

Well my mom says the same, complete your studies. I understand where she comes from as well but like...still lol. It's nothin shameful :S Just cause imma girl. My bro says it and its no biggie lol. They're all like happy shappy, smiling and all. If I say anythin it's like :O omg! lol. Grrrr whatever.

MashaAllah for ur bros...my bros arent practisin : (

My teacher says if you can't afford to get married on your own, then don't get married.

Don't worry Rashad, I got your back on this thread man :shade:

WHen I started thinking of marriage, i thought I had some 10 years to go..believe me, as the days pass by the number of years starts to decrease quite rapidly
\

I see that amongst my older friends now. My friend recently turned 18, and now all of a sudden he's got obsessed about getting married. Allahu Alam! I just hope I can hold on until I am officially prepared and can handle to take care of my parents and a family, Insha'Allah very, very soon...

 

[Asiyah3]

^^ Yeah, I totally know what you mean :raging:

 

[-Elle-]

Re: expensive weddings

I was never the type that planned my wedding at the age of 12! I have friends that did that and just recently, one of them actually had a HUGE garden wedding at a prestige location here in KL. She was very happy!

I had that idea too, sounds nice, doesn't it? But it would have to be totally secluded (considering hijab and all)..

As for the original topic of the thread, it varies from person to person, as it was shown here. it all depends on what kind of party you are looking to throw.

I couldn't imagine myself getting married and not celebrating this joyous occasion with my friends. It would be more of a party (all women, of course!lol) than a traditional wedding. Shouldn't cost that much. It's more about the laughter, games, love and happiness than it is about food, trays of silver and chandeliers.lol.

Traveling somewhere is a thousand times better than wasting idk how much on a single day, IMO. Plus, if you young and still students, chances are you won't be able to afford an insanely priced wedding.

 

[Beardo]

I'm contemplating moving the expensive wedding threads onto here..

At any rate, I think it's important to get married but at an age where you are mature and able to support your wife/family, even if not 100%, at least be able to do groceries and all. I know many people move in with their parents nowadays.

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

I dont get it, whats this Mahr fuss all about? Whats wrong with asking the sunnah amount? Its around £200 which is about $314. If you go into a marriage certain that with Allah (swt) blessings things are going to work out just fine insha'Allah then why would you feel as though you need the Mahr money as a fall back in case things go wrong? Are we forgetting that Allah (swt) will bestow love in abundance upon and between the couple and the husband's pride and happiness will lie in supporting his wife just as hers will lie in taking care of him and his household.

Simplicity is key.

Wassalam.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Guys, save me from being beaten by the staff and keep this thread extremely Halaal. I made this thread partially to prove to the staff that a Marriage thread can be kept Halaal and beneficial. Maybe I can convince them to make a FORUM for marriage. :hiding:

What did I say that is haraam?? Or is it just a general note...?