The Marriage Thread

_muslim_ said:
I really wouldn't want to be demanding or anything, but you know I'll be living in that house over forty years (I assume, insha'lLah) so it has to be nice and lovely.

I personally find an empty room in a house important. Perhaps because we've almost always had an empty room in my parents house sometimes as a workroom or a "computer-room".

The cleaning thing won't be a promblem :D I'll love cleaning my own castle insha'lLah besides sister we need some exercise! A small house is equal to a cramped house, perhaps I'm a bit spoiled :hmm:

Also I'll quote this Hadith:
A spacious house is part of the Muslim’s happiness, as it says in the hadeeth narrated by Ahmad (15409) from Naafi’ ibn ‘Abd al-Haarith (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Part of a man’s happiness includes a good neighbour, a comfortable mount, and a spacious abode.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 3029.

It's part of my happiness sis <3 I could forget the ring thing coz' as you stated "People forget they cant take money/stuff/juwelry with them in their grave subhanallah!". But the house... I'll be living in it daily, insha'lLah
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LOL yeah we need the exercise! Especially when youre very fond of chocolate like me:shade:
But seriously you could live in a small house at first and move to another when you have kids? I would rather choos that than a castle in the beginning. You need people to fill the castle, else it will be useless:p
 
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assalaam o alaykum,

sisters (and mahrams) need to realise that if they put a high mahr (dawry) on themselves (their daughters) then no-one would step fwd to marry them....

so then they would just get older and older and no rich dude can come fwd to marry them..... so a low mahr (dawry) make EVERYTHING so much easier... plus it puts barakah in the marriage.

the prophet (saw) said something like "may Allaah bless the women who is easy with regards to her dawry and her womb"
 
★ηαѕιнα★;1292974 said:
LOL yeah we need the exercise! Especially when youre very fond of chocolate like me:shade:
But seriously you could live in a small house at first and move to another when you have kids? I would rather chose that than a castle in the beginning. You need people to fill the castle, else it will be useless:p
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:sl:
I wouldn't want an excessively large house like for example my uncle's house is a little too large and that's not good at all :hmm: Like come on he and his wife have only two children and the house has about five bedrooms and seven toilets, that's unnecessary. I'm not asking for five rooms see my wish is reasonable. One room for me and the hubby, one for the future kid and one extra for free-time use :statisfie

Plus, if we live in a warm country then I wouldn't mind a pool :p

I could of course do as you said. Move into a smaller house first, but why do that if we can afford a better house, insha'lLah. Also sis I wouldn't call the house I ask small. It's not big nor small but as spacious at it needs to be. Like around 100-150 square metres.
 
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Banu_Hashim said:
^^ Alhamdulillah! Now all we need to do is............ reason respectfully with our parents...:hmm: hmmm...
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Yea...actually I was talking to my mom about it last night. She's like I know you wana get married. She was kinda being sarcastic. I'm like soooooo whattt, come on. You're saying it like it's a bad thing. I've hit my 20s help me out here lol....then we made a deal lol. Alhamdulillah.

It's only recent that I'm even building the guts to talk to her more openly about it. I've been wanting to for some years now....:hmm:
 
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Light of Heaven said:
Yea...actually I was talking to my mom about it last night. She's like I know you wana get married. She was kinda being sarcastic. I'm like soooooo whattt, come on. You're saying it like it's a bad thing. I've hit my 20s help me out here lol....then we made a deal lol. Alhamdulillah.
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"I know you wanna get married" :giggling:
 
^^Lol yea she knows just because I give off these little hints and vibes...I would understand if I was like 16 or something u know..but I'm not :/
 
My mum asked me yesterday if I wanted to get married, I said yh of course, then she said shutup and get your degree and a job first :hiding:
 
^^Ouch! Shot down :/ When I had that convo wiv my mom she said...finish ur degree quickly. She said if u were done or when ur done I won't take even a day to get ur marriage fixed. I was like wow....
 
Why is a degree for girls so important to parents, its not as if you can't study whilst married. If I have any daughters I'd get them married off asap not worry about some degree which will end up being a waste of time (depending on what degree it is) as the husband will be providing.

I've got aunties and cousins doing phd's and the lot, they're in late twenties and still not married (don't even want to). I don't understand what for, they could be raising little mujahids and daughters right now instead of trying to become some proffesional women trying to show everyone their womanpower
 
:sl:
aadil77 said:
Why is a degree for girls so important to parents, its not as if you can't study whilst married.
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I think many of those parents (including mine) worry if she'll have the ability to focus on family and studies at the same time...

If I have any daughters I'd get them married off asap not worry about some degree which will end up being a waste of time (depending on what degree it is) as the husband will be providing.
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What if she'll get divorced later? What if there'll gonna be a moment where their financial circumstances stagger? What if the husband will need some support?

I've got aunties and cousins doing phd's and the lot, they're in late twenties and still not married (don't even want to). I don't understand what for, they could be raising little mujahids and daughters right now instead of trying to become some proffesional women trying to show everyone their womanpower
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I agree.
 
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As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

I would like to give a naseeha which is first and foremost for me than for everyone else....
We all want to get married and all are excited about it... but have we done any preparation for it? like taken some seminar on this topic like there is Fiqh Of Marriage by Yasir Qadhi, Fiqh of Love by Yaser Birjas and others... or have u read any thing about it? What are the rights of spouses on each other etc...there is this 3 series book 1. The Quest for Love and Mercy 2. Closer Than Garment 3. Fragile vessel...
and also

http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Garments of Love And Mercy.pdf

so that when the blessed time comes we are prepared for it insha allah :)
 
Re: expensive weddings

:sl:

Gossamer skye said:
my sister showed up two hours late to her own wedding because she was working that day..
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that's very unusual . Normally people take leave .


I personally don't like the idea of feeding a bunch of gawkers for what is supposed to be a special day for two..
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but these two people have their near dear ones. Why deprive them from sharing ur joy ? Normally we have a good family gathering on the occasion of any wedding. Soemtimes relatives who live outside city come and it's really nice to get a chance to meet them .


I was surprised enough to learn that indian/paki brides have to live with their in laws..
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In Islam , it's duty of a son to take care of his old parents. If all live seperately , it's hard for parents to pass thier old days . Anyway , these are off topic.

we must not spend much on wedding as this prevents many young men to get married . Also , I read a hadiht long ago that says something like this: those marriages are mose blessed where less money were spent.
 
aadil77 said:
My mum asked me yesterday if I wanted to get married, I said yh of course, then she said shutup and get your degree and a job first :hiding:
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loool... exactly the response I would most likely get from my mum.
 

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