The Marriage Thread

Big weddings are horrible all the thought of all those people staring at me watching my every move terrifies me!! I don't like attention or to be in the spot light.

A nice little wedding where you know every 1 personally is the way to go, normally at asian weddings there's so many people you don't even know who half of them are, they're long lost relatives that you only see when there's a wedding lol.
 
Talking about the Marriage, I really don't have a big idea concerning how should be a marriage done. I have one question :
Should the husband and his spouse have a common marriage ceremony ?
I mean can't they do tow separate ceremonies :
the husband with his friends (only men),
and the wife have a celebration with her family and her female friends (only women).

I know they should meet to do a marriage contract (+parents+witnesses) , but that doesn't need a common ceremony where men and women are mixed.

I mean what's the islamic opinion ?
 
:sl:
why is it such a huge issue to people to have a wedding party? you can have a nice party (that costs money) within your means. just because you want a nice walimah, invite some people etc, doesn't mean you're extravagant or love money.

sometimes im inclined to think that men who dont want to spend on a walimah, party, and who want no ceremony are just stingy! well, at least that's how comes across as :hmm:

it maybe alright for you brothers not to want one, because you aren't all that social and dont really like all the fuss but think of the girl who is moving away from her family and think of her family and friends who might want to bid her farewell.
 
squiggle said:
Big weddings are horrible all the thought of all those people staring at me watching my every move terrifies me!! I don't like attention or to be in the spot light.

A nice little wedding where you know every 1 personally is the way to go, normally at asian weddings there's so many people you don't even know who half of them are, they're long lost relatives that you only see when there's a wedding lol.
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That is ^^^^ a asian wedding indeed ;D, a wedding is a joyful occasion the more people the merrier, i say :statisfie
 
S<Chowdhury said:
That is ^^^^ a asian wedding indeed ;D, a wedding is a joyful occasion the more people the merrier, i say :statisfie
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What if they're the type of people who want to ruin your 'big day'?. I too believe in a small wedding, the thought of having one of those big flashy (typical asian) weddings makes me angry :raging:
 
Rashad said:
So basically they said the I do's or whatever, and then the dowry price was named... Which was somewhat funny. The groom was asked about the dowry and he said "1000". Then the bride was like "2000". And then he said "okay, 2000."

And that was it. :hmm:

Iono. I personally don't want to have it that simple.
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actually, when deciding on mahr amount its better that that process is quick and simple. i like how they both agreed very quickly and then its done. in SOME cases, deciding mahr becomes a big family ordeal where you have 2 parties deciding on a price in a huge hour long negotiation and the bride and groom are no where in sight or have any idea.

anyway, big weddings are great if you can easily afford it, as long as its within halal means. simple weddings can be nice, but.. you know.. you're a princess for that one day, might as well make the most of it :shade:
 
Hmmm... I was just thinking about marriage the other day (I do that when I'm bored) and where exactly do you look for a pious wife? I know this seems a bit of a silly question, but are there places you are more likely to find a muslimah with good morals and akhlaaq and the rest of it; like in the Islamic Society at your university or Islamic Courses etc., or is it more like a lottery, ya'ni... they can be found anywhere and everywhere?

I mean, for girls it's so much easier, they get a proposal left, right and centre and Muslim men are kinda left to do it on their own. (OK, now you can tell I'm really bored.)
 
Banu_Hashim said:
Hmmm... I was just thinking about marriage the other day (I do that when I'm bored) and where exactly do you look for a pious wife? I know this seems a bit of a silly question, but are there places you are more likely to find a muslimah with good morals and akhlaaq and the rest of it; like in the Islamic Society at your university or Islamic Courses etc., or is it more like a lottery, ya'ni... they can be found anywhere and everywhere?

I mean, for girls it's so much easier, they get a proposal left, right and centre and Muslim men are kinda left to do it on their own. (OK, now you can tell I'm really bored.)
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But also consider that there's more women in the world than men, so it could perhaps leave the woman paranoid in regards to her marriage.
 
UnhappyD: said:
What if they're the type of people who want to ruin your 'big day'?. I too believe in a small wedding, the thought of having one of those big flashy (typical asian) weddings makes me angry :raging:
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Haha nothing wrong in big weddings if you can afford it and keeping it Islamic at the same time , and well thats pretty sad isn't it trying to ruin someone's big day i'd take no notice of those people just haters, and worse comes to worse you can politely ask them to leave if they are so adamant in ruining your day
 
yeah, you can have a lot of people at your wedding (it's actually encouraged to have a variety of people: rich, poor etc.) but is there any benefit in having it big in terms of extravagance? We should humble ourselves and remember that marriage is a act of worship and that our time on this earth is limited.
 
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I would show them the door, and then walk them to it and then ask them to leave. I really hate those kind of people who would like nothing more than to ruin somebody elses good day
 
Rashad said:
The best is to be moderate. Have a ceremony, just don't let it go extravagant. If it is within Islamic law, why should you restrict yourself? Why do you want to be dull on such a joyous moment of your life?
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Sound great, but on Qiyamah you will have to answer to Allah how your money was used, Good or Bad.

I remember the simplest wedding I've ever been to.. I was on the way to class when the Imam asked me to drop by his house for a couple minutes. So I thought maybe he'd give me some books or something. Instead, he had me sit at the table along with the supposed bride and groom as well as another brother. So basically, there were 5 people in total: Imam, myself, the other brother, bride, and groom. So basically they said the I do's or whatever, and then the dowry price was named... Which was somewhat funny.
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My kind of Wedding :shade:

A question regarding this, Who dictates what (as in Quantity and/or Item) the Dowry should be?

The groom was asked about the dowry and he said "1000". Then the bride was like "2000". And then he said "okay, 2000."
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I nearly LOLed, $2k for a couple of minutes = Jackpot ;D
 
Rashad said:
The best is to be moderate. Have a ceremony, just don't let it go extravagant. If it is within Islamic law, why should you restrict yourself? Why do you want to be dull on such a joyous moment of your life?

I remember the simplest wedding I've ever been to.. I was on the way to class when the Imam asked me to drop by his house for a couple minutes. So I thought maybe he'd give me some books or something. Instead, he had me sit at the table along with the supposed bride and groom as well as another brother. So basically, there were 5 people in total: Imam, myself, the other brother, bride, and groom.

So basically they said the I do's or whatever, and then the dowry price was named... Which was somewhat funny. The groom was asked about the dowry and he said "1000". Then the bride was like "2000". And then he said "okay, 2000."

And that was it. :hmm:

Iono. I personally don't want to have it that simple.
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wow ... simplicity has not died ... I wish I could untangle the complexities in me and become that simple ...
 
mad_scientist said:
wow ... simplicity has not died ... I wish I could untangle the complexities in me and become that simple ...
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That type of simplicity... I dunno. Aren't you supposed to feed people on your Waleemah?
 
Rashad said:
What's that supposed to mean? Isn't jealousy a bad thing..?
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No, the jealousy here is what is known as gheerah..which is different from the typical meaning of 'jealousy'. It's when you don't want other men checking out your wife. It's the feeling of honor a man has to the women of his family, specifically his wife.
 
:sl:
Muraad said:


No, the jealousy here is what is known as gheerah..which is different from the typical meaning of 'jealousy'. It's when you don't want other men checking out your wife. It's the feeling of honor a man has to the women of his family, specifically his wife.
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Try explaining that to the feminist sisters. They'd think the guy is being overly protective, jealous and 'insecure'. :exhausted
 

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