The Marriage Thread

Quick Questions:

Is it wrong to never want to marry?
Is it enough to be considered as a Muslim if you were to remain single and god fearing?
Is it OK to suppress desires?
 
Nimboo said:
Quick Questions:

Is it wrong to never want to marry?
Is it enough to be considered as a Muslim if you were to remain single and god fearing?
Is it OK to suppress desires?
Click to expand...

1. I'm sure its not a sin, but if you're able to marry and are sinning due to desires but still won't marry, then I think it might be wrong
2. Ofcourse you're considered muslim, marriage does not make you a muslim
3. We are told to suppress desires to avoid evil, why not? But like I said if you're unable to suppress them and are able to get married, you should because you have the opportunity to avoid sin
 
^^ :sl: well Rasoolullah (SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam) said "whoever does not marry is not one of us", so it is important

Marriage is half your deen and hence is very important. So don't consider not getting married, the most God-fearing and righteous of Prophets were married. I think every Prophet had a married life except Eesa (Alayhi Salaam) but he hasn't had a complete life so far. Rasoolullah (SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam) even encouraged marriage at a young age for protection from falling into immodest acts. Just get married. :D

Alpha Dude said:
:sl:
Try explaining that to the feminist sisters. They'd think the guy is being overly protective, jealous and 'insecure'. :exhausted
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I second that, Brother Alpha;D
 
My friend used to joke and say... If marriage is half of deen and cleanliness is half of deen, just get married and be clean and you're on your way to Jannah. He would also add: no praying, no zakaat, nothing. But he was obviously joking...
 
Alpha Dude said:
:sl:
Try explaining that to the feminist sisters. They'd think the guy is being overly protective, jealous and 'insecure'. :exhausted
Click to expand...

jealousy is good but in limits:D

There is alot women/men who use anger as a means of controlling there spouse.(even if that spouse is trying there best) this is clearly wrong.

Jealousy can be dangerous but on the other hand it gives a girl a little happiness too ;D
 
Ali_008 said:
well Rasoolullah (SallAllahu Alayhi WaSallam) said "whoever does not marry is not one of us"
Click to expand...

Aslaamu alaaykum Brother Ali, could you post the reference for that please, ive been looking for that for some InshaAllaah cant seem to find it..So if your able to post the refs that would be indeed indeed!
Wa alaaykum Salaam
 
Alpha Dude said:
:sl:
Try explaining that to the feminist sisters. They'd think the guy is being overly protective, jealous and 'insecure'. :exhausted
Click to expand...

not necessarily, most sisters like their husbands to have gheerah, even ones who aren't super practising. a man without gheerah for his sister or wife is missing a critical component of manhood (imo).
 
what sort of gheerah levels are there?

high (two fingers curled into an effective hook ready to extract an eye ball)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
low (im not bothered)
 
^^It's jealousy and for a hubby to have that is good...:D u know the good healthy kind of jealousy a hubby or wife has for each other. although some may go to the extreme.
 
I want to keep this thread fueled so I'm going to do a short story...

I remember in class, this conversation was held... Mind you, I was not involved. I was only a listener:

A: So, do you like being married?
B: Of course!
A: What's the biggest difference/impact on your life after marriage?
B: It's no longer the "I". Now it's all about the "we".

So there you have it.
 
Rashad said:
A: So, do you like being married?
B: Of course!
A: What's the biggest difference/impact on your life after marriage?
B: It's no longer the "I". Now it's all about the "we".

So there you have it.
Click to expand...
The I option sounds easier. :D
 
Just seems that it's really a matter of luck to find someone perfect for you. Because seems that it's built on the concept of "if you stick with one person long enough, you're bound to fall in love with them". That's one bit that bothers me. It feels forced. It feels you get married for the sake of getting married. Not because you've met someone that you'd love waking up to for the rest of your life.

Now, what if I want someone with similar interests as I? One way I feel connected to anyone, whether it be friends or family, is if we have things in common. If we have similar tastes in things. For example, if we both like Europe or if we both like cars or if we both like the colour blue. I know these are silly things, but I find myself connecting better with someone like that. Of course I don't want her to be an exact replica of me. I want a perfect balance between similarities and differences. But I also don't want to do things I am passionate about all alone even after I am married. Sure she'll tag along in the beginning, but that won't last forever.

Now how do you find someone with whom you do share interests with. We're not allowed to date. We're not allowed to mingle. How do you find someone who loves skiing? or loves to volunteer in her spare time? or discovery channel documentaries? Because I want someone who'd be able to accompany me with these things or at least share a hint of a taste in such things.

I know these are silly stupid things compared to Islamic reasons for marriage and such. I believe there is a hadees where the Prophet (PBUH) said "marry her because she's rich, or comes from a prestigious family, or because she's beautiful". None of which fits in with what I am looking for. I am not necessarily after a rich girl, nor someone from a big family.

These are some things I am very concerned and confused about.
 

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