I'd still come online and 'revise' because i couldn't concentrate at home anyways..
I was tired of love now.. or anything to do with it. I just wanted some space of my own, and someone to talk to.. i needed a new start. But this A thing was dragging on for too long.
I changed my tactics, and i felt i HAD to. I would tell her that it probably would'nt work, it hurt me to do this now.. since i was doing two things at once, my heart would soften from one side, and from the other i would be hurting someone, hoping it could just end.. but i knew it couldn't, because that's exactly how i felt on my first time.. holding on as much as i possibly could.
Sometimes i'd just block her, but then K would come on, so i would unblock her again.. incase she realised.
Today it was my exam, i hadn't revised properly.. but i went for it anyway. I ignored my mates, we had distanced quite alot now... maybe because of what happened in previous situations? But we never spoke much.. the past had passed...
I came back from my first exam, i probably didn't do well.. but atleast it was over. That's what i wanted to do really, get it all finished and then what comes after, i could think about that then.
I logged on;
Hey
Salaam (peace)
u2, hw r u?
i'm ok thx, how was your exam???
it was alright.. urz?
i found it easy.. loll
u think u did well?
yeh insha allah (God willing) i hope so!! lol
lol, so you're just new into all this practising islaam business right?
yeh, u krazyy!! i told u last time rememba?!
oh yh lol
i joined an islamic forum and made some mates there
really?
yeh, there really safe.
lol maybe i should too..
sure, i'll add u into a conversation with someone i know.
... has been added into the conversation.
heyy, this is a bro i know! welcm 2 the convo!
hey.. u ayt?
yeah, i'm good.
...
erm.. so who's who?
this is the sis i know from the forum init!!
oh, kool.
yep.
erm.. so who's that cute kid in your display pic?
that's my niece, cute isn't she?
yeh.. lol
lol
the conversation was dead really.. no-one hardly spoke.
The one who lived near my town, she suddenly signed out.. and became offline.
I thought about leaving the conversation, i never really felt too comfortable anyway..