The Path that led me to Allaah. - A Prequel to the heart-break series -

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:salamext:


I thought about leaving the conversation, i never really felt too comfortable anyway..


erm.. listen, i'll add u in a conversation with a brother, alright?


sure, no worries.


Has been invited into the conversation..


​
Asalaamu 'alykum (peace be upon you)


wasalam bro, u ok?


yeh, i'm good man. u?


yh am ok thx.


u got exams now?


yeh lol


u revised?


nah, not really. it's too much.


lol you might aswell, otherwise its goin to take even longer once you're older to get good money and all that.


tru..


you shown him that site yet?


no, not yet. bro, join this site, its a good place to get some basic info on islaam:

http://islamicboard.com



kool, thanks.



We'll welcome you once you join lol


lol k.. thanks.


​
I'd introduced myself and everyone was really friendly and willing to help out. This is where i began to look into Islaam and gain more wisdom.

I realised why sins aren't really good for you. Infact their harmful for us, that's the only reason Allaah forbids us from approaching them. And the only reason Allaah gives us the freedom of choice is to test us, whether we will do good to please Him, or do evil and harm our own selves, in this life and the hereafter. And still, He is willing to forgive us so long as we turn to Him whole heartedly.


I gradually increased in my trust in Allaah, my love for Him. Since He had helped me through this whole trial, and He never forgot me even though i had forgot Him, and even myself.



Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

Allah is the Protector of those who have faith: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light. Of those who reject faith the patrons are the evil ones: from light they will lead them forth into the depths of darkness. They will be companions of the fire, to dwell therein (For ever).

[Qur'an 2: 256-7]


​
Ibn Taymiyya, a famous scholar said something amazing:

 ‘The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord; the true captive is someone captured by his passions.’




I could totally relate to that now.. so i moved forward. It was a gradual process, but i could feel that my heart never felt as restricted as it used to before. I felt at ease, secure, safe.. happy, and content. Something i had wished for, for a long time now.. that innocent feeling.



Then i remembered, A! I wanted a fresh start, so what was i supposed to do if i still had a part of my past clinging on to me?



​
 
Assalamu'Alaykum

Sorry I am late with my report, I was always a procrastinator.

Subhan`Allaah I have realized that now when things are getting to complicated for him, his heart is has soften and became easier to come to Islam, because when you are down, or when you lose everything you turn to anything. Its like you are drowning and anthing you can get a hold of is fine so long as you get out of it.

And that’s why you see most people turn to Islam as a last resort when everything else fails. And what a best time to open your heart to Islam, after all those hardships.
 
:salamext:


i can't come on no more after my exams.. sorry.

oh.. i hope u do well.


thx.. it's not fair. :(


i'm really sorry.


i'm gna miss u...


yeh..


​
Her parents had told her she couldn't come online anymore, until her exams had finished.. it would take a few weeks.

My heart hurt, don't get me wrong.. cuz Allaah has made us in a way that we don't like hurting others.. even though we can change, like you've seen in my past. So i never really wanted her to go through this.. it was too much, how weak you feel, and helpless..



After a few days, K was online.


Salaam (peace) bro, u alright?


w/salam? yh man, u?


listen, you heard anything on A?


yeh man.. waz just goin to tell u.


what happened?


her mates told me that her parents said she has to do really well, and if she doesn't then she can't do the course they want her to do.

reali?


yeh man.. u know her rents (parents) - they pay £3000 per year for her.. she goes to a 'high level' school man.

is it?


yeh..

​
I couldn't do this.. it was spoiling it for all of us. it was hurting her so bad, and i had made her life worse.. if she never had fallen for me, she would live her usual life, get good grades, and then marry someone and fall in love.

But that hadn't happened, this was her destiny. Allaah knew better..

...it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.

[Qur'an 2: 216]


​
In my exams, I was alot more confident now.. i had this feeling of tranquility inside of me, which in reality is a sign of faith and a blessing from Allaah, as He Himself mentions in the Qur'an:


It is He Who sent down tranquillity into the hearts of the Believers, that they may add faith to their faith;- for to Allah belong the Forces of the heavens and the earth; and Allah is Full of Knowledge and Wisdom;-

[Qur'an 48: 4]
​


So when others would be stressed out in the exam, i'd be relaxed.. even though they had revised and done more work than me.


So how was your exam?


yeh it was good bro alhamdulillah (the praise is for Allaah)


alhamdulillah, same here.


u think u gna pass?


not sure..

​
u checked the forum then eh?


yeh, its really good.. learnin new things alhamdulillah.


me too, so what's happening with the A girl?


she can't chat cuz of her exams init.. her parents want her to do really well.


oh, she must have alot of pressure..


i know.. loads.


what u gna do then?


i dno.. i think i have to end it, for sure.. if i don't do it now, then i don't know when i can.


but how u gna do it?


she sometimes comes online.. i'll talk to her then, insha Allaah (God willing.)


won't u both feel hurt?


i don't know.. look how much evil came out from my past, if i don't end this now it might just get worse...







​
 
Yeh u're right, my curiosity overtook me. :-[

I think its more important that we take the apropriate lessons from the story.

PS FiSabilillaah where are u? We're all waiting dammit, u posted like an hour ago saying u're typin it up! And then I see u posting in other sections, get back to work! lol
 
:salamext:


A still hadn't come online for a long time.. she'd text me sometimes, but i'd delay the response because i never really knew what position i was in now.

Others might think that what i did was harsh, but i had to.. if you disagree, then i think you need to read the story all over again, to realise the harmful consequences of relationships which aren't legit. But everyone has the right to an opinion.



Now a few weeks had passed, and A still didn't come online. After a while.. she stopped texting...

I wonder what happened to her?


One day, to my surprise, she came on, i stayed quiet though.. what was i supposed to do?
Hi. she said.


hey..


i missed u.


thx..

​
i hesitated to say anything else back.


what did u do since i've been gone?

​
i knew she had been suspicious on me, why wouldn't she? when she knew alot of my past anyway?
nothing really.. i've just started learning about Islam really..


oh, that's good.


yeh..

alot of things are off my back now, i feel more calm and secure lol


lol aw


yup, ma lifes become much easier alhamdulillah [the praise is for Allaah]

Can i ask u something?

sure


Do you think we're ever gna work?


i dnt knw...


me too..

Do you still love S?


that's the past A, you know that.. i've told u so much times before.


I really need to know though, what we are to each other..


It's not that simple...


Then, what are we to each other?



A, i don't know how to explain this.. but i think i have to.

Alot of guys like you, and we're so far apart.. we can't work, and i don't think it ever will..


..what do u mean??



i don't know how to explain it.. but.. this explains it better than i can..
It's gonna burn for me to say this

But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming

But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change

I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways

Tell me why I should stay in this relationship

When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby

Plus there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn


Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her/him being with someone else

But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

On the other side I wanna break down and cry

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

On the other side I wanna break down and cry


Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


​

what do u mean?

u mean.. u really want to end it?



i dnt know.. A. that's all we can do.. it's already getting too much.



but why did u.. why did u start this whole thing with me for then? u could have told me u loved S from the beginning, and none of this would happen?



It's not S, A. it just can't work.. u know it can't.


but we've been through soo much..


so loads of other guys like you though, even though i would be well happy if you could settle with someone and have a secure marriage.. and u truelly loved each other. That way your parents would be happy aswell.

this msn thing is messed, i swear.



why u doing this to me? :(



because i don't want to spoil your life for u...


i can't believe.. u made so much promises to me..


i'm really sorry.. i never even knew the difference between good and bad then.. i just want things to be normal for the both of us..


you already spoilt my life since the day S came into it... :(
- A has gone offline -


​
She had 'gone' offline, but my name was removed from her nick now.. so i knew she had blocked me.








​
 
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Its very sad what happened. I appreciate his honesty but what can be in A heart :(.
 
this story is getting funnier and funnier!
Da geeza in da story is a sik a guy, I know who you are! lol

Naah messin, da bro in da story reminds me of sum1 I no.
 
:salamext:


if u guyz noticed somethin.. this is exactly what happened in his situation with S. You'll have to go back to check it all over again.. but u see the repetition and the way it's goin in a cycle over and over again.. and if the first thing never happened, it wouldn't spread on.. but it's like a virus which spreads, and u dno where or when its gna end...
 
:salamext:

It's gonna burn for me to say this

But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming

But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change

I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways

Tell me why I should stay in this relationship

When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby

Plus there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn


Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her/him being with someone else

But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

On the other side I wanna break down and cry

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

On the other side I wanna break down and cry


Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Click to expand...

Dats a song init? I dunno feels like I've read that b4 sumwhere...but its describes his relationship wiv A really well...
 

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