The Polygamist Fantasy And The Distressing Of Sisters

[Alim Apprentice]

The immaturity amongst brothers do exist. Even if they are not serious about having another wife, joking about it shows how lightly they take the feelings of sisters. Its easy for brothers to act this way because they'd never have to worry about being in a situation where they could be neglected. Doesn't Islam teach us to respect women?

Convert, I don't know why you were insulted by that article It highlights a real issue about how sisters feel, and its something that should be brought into into attention. You admit that what you only saw was a man who seemingly lost his masculinity. I wouldn't judge you as chauvinist just because of that, but I think you should be proactive and look deeper into the issue rather than be reactive to the article written

 

[BlissfullyJaded]

Well, I do agree with brother convert to an extent. There are men who do pander to feminism, and it comes off looking real cheesy. Beyond the immaturity statement, I don't see how this article pandered to women. Could you highlight that?

Anyways, I think there are more reasons to why young people aren't married beyond a simplistic reason of "guys are immature." While it is a tad bit immature for the brothers to be giggling (well, giggling for a guy sounds feminine to me, not just immature) and high fiving over polygyny, I think there are far greater reasons why they're really not married. That just sounds overly simplified. It's the guys expectations from marriage that are very grand while they don't intend on putting into marriage as much as they expect on getting from the marriage. I'm not saying that sisters are always down to earth in their expectations, heck I've seen gold diggers too, however the weird expectations from guys are on the increase sadly.

I agree with where he says respect the sunnah. Joking around about to taunt your fiance / wife it isn't respecting the sunnah. Marrying a second wife behind your first wife's back isn't respecting the sunnah. Treating the first wife like dirt after you've married another isn't respecting the sunnah. So if you're going to do it, and saying you're practicing a sunnah and you await a reward for it in the end, that's just mockery and self-destructive.

It's not a diss to men. There a plenty out there who are realistic about it, who can handle it, and do respect the sunnah. But to those who joke about it out of bounds, just pause for a minute and evaluate your intentions... You know your strengths, so if you're going to do it then live up to your potential.