The righteous wife

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Re: How to make your Husband happy

salaam alaikum
i am not saying we have to obey EVERYTHING i have said some aspects we should others we shouldnt... i do not wish to continue this argument- it is good to do so as at the feet of our spouse is Jannah- i mean this for wife or husband- i merely brought the evidence i was asked....
the fact we are so divided over this matter is funny and we all have our own opinions on this.
once again ukhti jazakallah khair & barrak allahu fiki for starting the thread.

wa salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

:sl:

The issue of obeying one's husband can be found in both the Qur'an and the Sunnah. For discussions on the authenticity of hadeeth and their importance, please refer to the following threads:

Uloomul-Hadeeth

[General Article] Indispensibility of Hadith

[General Article] The Status of the Sunnah in Islam

The entire process of gathering hadith is weak, because it was collected from the people centuries later, just how authentic can you get two centuries later? Generations later?
Please refer to this post:
http://www.islamicboard.com/133434-post15.html

If you wish to discuss the topic of hdaeeth in more depth, then please continue the discussion in a seperate thread as it is not appropriate to begin in this current thread.

The mere existence of this thread, discussing the 'right' of the husband, is all due to these discrepancies in certain hadith.
I doubt that this is true, since we have Qur'anic verses that teach us that both men and women have rights over each other.

Jazakallahu Khayr,

:w:
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

JazakAllah khair for the links bro. Will be reading them avidly. InshaAllah.
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

:sl:

The issue of obeying one's husband can be found in both the Qur'an and the Sunnah.


As-salamu'alaikum,

After reading this post:

http://www.islamicboard.com/178624-post44.html

Let's see if you are able to bring forward ONE - yes just one SINGLE verse to prove what you say.

If you cannot - then let your frustration teach you not to ever tell lies about the Qur'an.
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

I wonder if "obeying" is really the appropriate word to use here. I think more in terms of respect. Men want to feel thier wives respect them and since they are the head of the household and the providers we should respect them! Maybe to some ppl its "petty" for him to ask his wife not to leave the home without him. But wouldnt it be even more petty to go against his wishes?? Doing so would show a lack of respect, it would make him angry and it would cause more trouble than its worth. The shopping center or whatever will be the same in a few hours as it is now so what does it hurt to wait? If my husband doesnt want me to go out without him, then I'd rather wait until he gets home than to go against his wishes.
 
:sl:
Ma'shaAllah,this is one among the good posts which I have come across since joining this forum.
My fellow brothers and sisters in Islam,Allah(S.W) has kept each and every thing open for us to follow the right path to paradise,if we will fail to enter whom will be blamed for ?.We have to follow what Allah has prescribed to us without judging using a very narrow knowledge we have.Allah the most high has prescribed all these for our own benefits and nothing will he loose or get if we disobey his orders.It must be born in our mind that billions and billions of other creatures worship Allah(angels,animals,plants,etc.}.
Also we shouldn't be angry with the replies of disbelievers and polytheists
because they not yet understand what islam is and what should they behave in issues prescribed by Allah,but we have to use this chance to educate them what Islam is by giving them the true facts and sometimes the wickness of their beliefs.If Allah wills insha'Allah they will embrass islam in the time to come.
:w:
 
Why do these orders about being "righteous" only specific to women? Shouldn't a husband also be a righteous husband? Shouldn't a man also be obedient, honest, loving to his wife? If so, then these orders shouldn't only apply to "righteous wives" but also to "righteous husbands". Islam shouldn't have a double standard when it comes to these things. Otherwise, you are saying that Islamic women are less capable than men, which is unacceptible.
 
Why do these orders about being "righteous" only specific to women? Shouldn't a husband also be a righteous husband? Shouldn't a man also be obedient, honest, loving to his wife? If so, then these orders shouldn't only apply to "righteous wives" but also to "righteous husbands". Islam shouldn't have a double standard when it comes to these things. Otherwise, you are saying that Islamic women are less capable than men, which is unacceptible.


This thread is only dealing about THE RIGHTEOUS WIFE, so that doesn't mean their ain't ay orders for men.

Allah (swt) says in various verses of Al-Quran that men and women are equal. so how can u say there are double standards, i advice you to look up before you say sumfing nx time.
 
This thread is only dealing about THE RIGHTEOUS WIFE, so that doesn't mean their ain't ay orders for men.

Allah (swt) says in various verses of Al-Quran that men and women are equal. so how can u say there are double standards, i advice you to look up before you say sumfing nx time.

I never said that there weren't any orders for men. I'm just saying that "righteousness" is not exclusive to just women, unlike what the title and message of the opening post suggest. There should be no distinction between a righteous wife and a righteous husband. Again, the virtues of honesty, goodness, and respect are virtues all people, not just Muslims, both men and women, should strive for. You could have entitled it "the righteous Muslim" or whatever.
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

:sl:

As-salamu'alaikum,

After reading this post:

http://www.islamicboard.com/178624-post44.html

Let's see if you are able to bring forward ONE - yes just one SINGLE verse to prove what you say.

If you cannot - then let your frustration teach you not to ever tell lies about the Qur'an.

Before I attempt to respond to your post, I hope that you have been so kind as to have read the links I gave you. If so, we can begin to understand the importance of the hadeeth and how they are used to explain the Qur'an, alongside the explanations from the Qur'an itself.

I looked at the post that was linked to by brother Companion, and it seems we have a slight confusion with the context to which the verses are referring, or what they mean exactly. I hope you will therefore agree that people with little knowledge are not to interpret the Qur'an according to their own limited understanding, but should refer matters to people of knowledge, s the Qur'an states:

[4.83] And when there comes to them news of security or fear they spread it abroad; and if they had referred it to the Apostle and to those in authority among them, those among them who can search out the knowledge of it would have known it, and were it not for the grace of Allah upon you and His mercy, you would have certainly followed the Shaitan save a few

Please have a look at the following verse of the Qur'an, and read its explanation by Ibn Katheer (which follows).

[4.34] Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.


Qualities of the Righteous Wife


Allah said,

[فَالصَّـلِحَـتُ]

(Therefore, the righteous) women,

[قَـنِتَـتٍ]

(are Qanitat), obedient to their husbands, as Ibn `Abbas and others stated.

[حَـفِظَـتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ]

(and guard in the husband's absence) As-Suddi and others said that it means she protects her honor and her husband's property when he is absent, and Allah's statement,

[بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ]

(what Allah orders them to guard.) means, the protected [husband] is the one whom Allah protects. Ibn Jarir recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,

«خَيْرُ النِّسَاءِ امْرَأَةٌ إِذَا نَظَرْتَ إِلَيْهَا سَرَّتْكَ، وَإِذَا أَمَرْتَهَا أَطَاعَتْكَ، وَإِذَا غِبْتَ عَنْهَا حَفِظَتْكَ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِك»

(The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.) Then, the Messenger of Allah recited the Ayah,

[الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ]

(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, ) until its end. Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdur-Rahman bin 'Awf said that the Messenger of Allah said,

«إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا، قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ الْأَبْوَابِ شِئْت»
(If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, fasted her month, protected her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will be told, 'Enter Paradise from any of its doors you wish.')

Here is an article on the ayah: http://www.load-islam.com/C/Women/TafsirAyah34

We also have another article here:
http://www.islamicboard.com/marriage-islam/2998-obligation-woman-obeying-her-husband.html

:w:
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

As-salamu'alaikum,

I have shown you - using Qur'anic evidence - that 'Qanitat' in verse 4:34 is CLEARLY talking about obedience to Allah.

Now that you decide to follow those who change worship of Allah to worship of husbands, in order to follow men's desires, you have associated partners with Allah - in other words this is SHIRK - there is no other word for it.

If, knowingly, you follow this - you are in essence commiting shirk/polytheism.


The Hadith play a major role in the division of Islam into sects and corruption of Islam using patriarchal fabrication.
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

Wa Alaykum Assalaam,

In the first article I referred you to, by Dr. Ahmad Shafaat, it explains the meaning of the word Qanitat:

Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and His Messenger. For this reason qanitat may simply mean "devoted to God". In view of the context, the idea of devotion and obedience to the husband may also be read into the word.


Since men are qawwamun over their wives, they must have some authority to make decisions, for a person cannot be an effective guardian or maintainer of someone without having some decision making authority. And whenever there is legitimate decision-making authority on one side, there is some necessity of obedience from the other. In Hadith there are many traditions which encourage women to be obedient to their husbands. Some of these traditions are no doubt forged, being attempts by later Muslims to subjugate their women(1), but others look authentic(2). Thus the Qur'an and Hadith do teach that women should obey their husbands. But this "should" is not a "should" of moral or religious obligation.
The Qur'an and authentic ahadith do not command women to be obedient to their husbands, so that it is not a sin on their part if they sometime do not listen to their husbands. The Qur'an and Hadith consider obedience to the husband as simply a desirable quality of the wife. Read more

And the tafseer of Ibn Katheer told us that some of the companions of the Prophet :arabic5: , including Ibn 'Abbaas; who had far better understanding of the Qur'an than any of us, understood the word in question to be referring to husbands.
This, however, as pointed out above, does not mean you worship them and obey them in wrongdoing. It is similar to the example of being dutiful to parents. Allaah says in the Qur'an:

[29.8] And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did.

So even with parents, to whom obedience has been highly emphasised and commended in Islam; if they order us to disobey Allaah, then we are not to obey them in this regard, while still being respectful and kind to them. From this, we can understand that obeying someone is not the same as worshipping them, may Allaah protect us from that.

So while the word Qanit in the Qur'an has been used to refer to Allaah, this does not mean that it always refers to Allaah and therefore I don't quite see how it is "clear" evidence for what you say. However, I certainly don't think it is impossible for it to refer to Allaah, since that may be the opinion of others - Allaahu A'lam.

The Hadith play a major role in the division of Islam into sects and corruption of Islam using patriarchal fabrication.
In actual fact, the hadeeth play a major role in teaching us our religion and explaining the Qur'an to us. However, we need to be careful to follow the authentic hadeeth and not weak or fabricated reports, as this will undoubtedly lead to error. I hope you had a look at the links in my other post where I pointed out some relevant articles on this forum about the importance and status of the hadeeth.

:w:
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

salam,

The very article you quote froim in-facts supports what I am saying.

Did you miss this part of your quote?:

"Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and His Messenger..."

This makes it clear that the meaning of 'qanit' is with regards to Holy devotion - towards Allah.

Why bend the obvious meaning to conform to men's views?
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

Whaooo some heavy debating going on there!

While I agree that there should be mutual repect and understanding between a married couple. However, Islam is perfectly balanced in all matters. No one can dispute that.

Therefore a husband cannot order his wife in all matters. There are times when he has to/should ask or even request that she does something.

Example: "Darling can you please wait up for me til I get back around 12am." She may oblige out of love and devotion. There is nothing in Islam saying she has to do this. As Islam does not restrict us from doing what is natural. She could happily go to sleep.

But there are times when he may have to instruct her (without any sugarcoating) to do something. And she should obey that instruction.

Example: Wife answers door without covering herself appropriately. The husband has the right (and rightly so) to tell her to cover herself in these situations.

It just wouldn't be right if he came out with, "Darling, can you please cover your beautiful self when answering the door, cuz you are for my eyes only, and I hate to see other men looking at you (sigh)." Most likely the wife will mutter, "Yeah, whatever!"

It's a husband's right to tell her directly to cover herself, provided she is aware of this, but still isnt doing it. Therefore she should obey, not out of love or mutual understanding, but because he is telling her to do something that Islam tells women to do.

So, as far as I'm concerned there is nothing wrong with obeying your husband in matters of religion or with him instructing his wife. And (while the debate on 'obeying' continues) even if women have been told to obey their husband, this does not mean his every word has to be an order or her every act is without her consent. Even the Quran does not tell women to obey their husbands in all things without question. If that was the case why would consultation be recommended?
 
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Re: Would you obey your hubby?

Nooooo

Islamically a woman has to listen to her husband
Unless he tells her to do something harram.
Period.

SaLaMz
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

assalam alaikam

i had noticed sisters, that relatives of mine that get married in america over half of them actually yeah more than half have gotten divorced. So keep your Islamic value! Dont go getting divorces because your husband says dont dress like a stripper when you go into a mall!
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

Nooooo

Islamically a woman has to listen to her husband
Unless he tells her to do something harram.
Period.

SaLaMz


A woman should obey in matters of religion when her husband instructs her to do or not do something.

She does not have to obey him if he says "Hey! Don't eat Cheese n Onion crisps cuz I can't stand the pong!" Allah gave her the right to eat what he made halal. Who is the husband to say she can't eat this or that? Do you honestly think she should obey him there?

At that rate, no woman would get married in the first place.

Therefore a woman does not have to listen to her husband in everything he says.
 
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Re: Would you obey your hubby?

Hey easy on the onion chips, onion chips you dont know these days make you do wonderful things
 
Re: Would you obey your hubby?

A woman should obey in matters of religion when her husband instructs her to do or not do something.

She does not have to obey him if he says "Hey! Don't eat Cheese n Onion crisps cuz I can't stand the pong!" Allah gave her the right to eat what he made halal. Who is the husband to say she can't eat this or that? Do you honestly think she should obey him there?

At that rate, no woman would get married in the first place.

Therefore a woman does not have to listen to her husband in everything he says.

Thts not true.Now say she eats the chips and gets a heartAttack
She should have just listened.Now she died disobeying her husband.

SaLaMz:sister:
 

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