The Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them

[aadil77]

sorry but if you read the other 2 links i posted you will understand what it means the first one i posted was about backbiting muslim so it dosent include the rulings of non muslims but the other 2 links explains pls read them

Ok thanks I thought they were links to the main article:thumbs_up, but still nothing about reffering to groups of people

 

[أبو سليمان عمر]

Ok thanks I thought they were links to the main article:thumbs_up, but still nothing about reffering to groups of people

well a group has people and it still is consider backbiting right? what i am saying is why should we should try to avoid unless it well benefit this person or group
Allah Knows BEST
Allahumma ighfirli khati ati wa jahli wa israfi fi amri wa ma anta a'lamu bihi minii. Allahumma ighfirli hazliwa jiddi wa khata'i wa 'amdi wa kullu-dhalika 'indi 7) (O Allah! Forgive my mistakes and my ignorance and my exceeding the limit (i.e. my great sins) and forgive whatever You know better than I. O Allah! Forgive the wrong I have done jokingly or seriously, and forgive my accidental and intentional errors, all that is present in me.) and to all Ameen

 

[Uthman]

I wonder where the rule on backbiting stands in relation to news reporting...

 

[czgibson]

Greetings,

The prohibition on backbiting has always unsettled me. The idea that speaking the truth can be seen as morally wrong is very strange to me. Is it at all analogous to the Shia concept of taqiyya?

An example of why it unsettles me can be seen pretty much every time Osama bin Laden's name comes up in discussion on the forum. Someone will say what a horrendous human being he is, and how he's giving Muslims a terrible reputation to live with and so on. Sooner or later, someone will then say how wrong it is to criticise him - it's backbiting, only Allah knows what is in his heart, Allah knows best what (if any) punishment he deserves.

Is that a correct view of backbiting? If so, I think it's deeply suspect.

At any rate, it's not the best idea to do gheebah of kaafirs, unless you intend to harm them for a just cause.

What a horrible thing to say about your fellow human beings.

Peace

 

[burdenofbeing]

Greetings,

The prohibition on backbiting has always unsettled me. The idea that speaking the truth can be seen as morally wrong is very strange to me. Is it at all analogous to the Shia concept of taqiyya?

No. It's about invasion of rights.

Sooner or later, someone will then say how wrong it is to criticise him - it's backbiting, only Allah knows what is in his heart, Allah knows best what (if any) punishment he deserves.

Is that a correct view of backbiting? If so, I think it's deeply suspect.

Depends. Saying someone is a horrendous being is always a bad idea for a muslim. As all beings are created by Allah. Acts someone does is not like that. Muslims are allowed, and encouraged to say that his actions are horrible though.

What a horrible thing to say about your fellow human beings.

See how you phrased that? You isolated my actions to condemn. That's the way to go

Actually I think it is an understandable thing. If the fellow human being in question is waging a war against you, it's only natural to want to harm him. Words AND stones.

 

[Khayal]

MashaAllaah, great thread, May Allaah Subhana Wa Ta'aala guid us all to act on whatever we read, InshaAllaah.

JazaakAllaah khayr.

​

 

[czgibson]

Greetings,

See how you phrased that? You isolated my actions to condemn. That's the way to go

I'm not sure what you mean.

All I'm saying is that I find the idea of harming people for the sake of "justice" morally repellent.

I didn't really see what you were getting at with the rest of your post either.

Peace

 

[Tony]

This thread is really helping me, I thought I didnt backbight, but I have noticed that infact I am quite bad for it. Need to do something about it now. Thankyou for starting this thread Osman.Allahs blessings be upon you

 

[Uthman]

I'm not sure what you mean.

He means that when you said "What a horrible thing to say about your fellow human beings", your words were a condemnation of the action (i.e. the thing that he said) rather than a condemnation of him.

 

[aamirsaab]

Greetings,

The prohibition on backbiting has always unsettled me. The idea that speaking the truth can be seen as morally wrong is very strange to me.

You misunderstand. The ruling is there to prevent name calling/slander/general tattle taling.

Let's say in the streets of a sharia compliant state, I come up to your wife or female companion. Let's then say I call her a **** or ***** (women who fornicates freely). To her face, in front of the townsfolk. Let's then say I show some ''evidence'' of it.

What I have done is:
* caused YOU trouble (you now have doubts about her)
* caused YOUR female cohort trouble (she has now been blacklisted from the community as a whole and the comments I have made about her have spread like wild fire because humans are social beings and like to talk)
* caused anyone related or linked to you or her trouble (for same reasons)

Whether or not the claim has any truth in it, I have insulted that person (for no good reason). If I have told the truth, it is even worse because now I have told everyone that persons sins (she has been blacklisted from the entire community as a result) - so it makes it even more difficult for her to gain any trust or respect back. Basically, I have in all intents and purposes just acted like the biggest ass in the world.

That is what the backbiting rule is to prevent: disrespecting and slandering people as a whole. Granted, the above example is a worst scenario case (and not neccessarily a common one) but I am sure you understand now. There is this saying that the truth hurts. So do lies.

Is it at all analogous to the Shia concept of taqiyya?
...

Taqiyya is to do with lying in order to protect oneself - different topic altogether.

 

[burdenofbeing]

Greetings,


I'm not sure what you mean.

All I'm saying is that I find the idea of harming people for the sake of "justice" morally repellent.

I didn't really see what you were getting at with the rest of your post either.

Peace

He means that when you said "What a horrible thing to say about your fellow human beings", your words were a condemnation of the action (i.e. the thing that he said) rather than a condemnation of him.

^What he said.

And if you think harming people is always bad, period; then you are naive. But I'm guessing you are just being hypocritical. The survival of your genes prove that.

 

[GreyKode]

All I'm saying is that I find the idea of harming people for the sake of "justice" morally repellent.

I know this is a tangent issue but just thought you might want to consider

Originally Posted by Gator View Post


There are 2 forces at work regarding a naturalistic basis for societal behavior.
The individual and the gene (going off dawkins, and wilson’s and many other’s “selfish gene” concept).

Individuals will react to further their utility and successful genes will further the perpetuity.

As has been stated, societal cooperation is more successful than just individual action.
How do genes promote societal cooperation? By incorporating Empathy in their hosts (us and other animals).

Empathy has been documented in many animals.

So genes affect a person’s utility function.

But empathy to a certain degree.

If someone breaks society’s rules they must be punished.

This has also been observed in other complex animal groups.

How do genes promote punishment of antisocial behavior? Anger and justification to punish

Again I apologise cz, I know this is not the main issue.

 

[czgibson]

Greetings,

Whether or not the claim has any truth in it, I have insulted that person (for no good reason). If I have told the truth, it is even worse because now I have told everyone that persons sins (she has been blacklisted from the entire community as a result) - so it makes it even more difficult for her to gain any trust or respect back. Basically, I have in all intents and purposes just acted like the biggest ass in the world.

It may not be necessary to tell everyone, but it could be beneficial for you to tell me. I might need to know! If you've told the truth, I can't see what's wrong with that. If my partner has done something wrong, she needs to be prepared to live with the consequences. Concealing her wrong actions helps nobody.

That is what the backbiting rule is to prevent: disrespecting and slandering people as a whole. Granted, the above example is a worst scenario case (and not neccessarily a common one) but I am sure you understand now.

Not at all. If anything I'm even more alarmed than I was before.

There is this saying that the truth hurts. So do lies.

Telling lies about people is wrong - on that we'd agree.

Your use of the saying "the truth hurts" is interesting. Most English speakers use that phrase in the following way: "the truth hurts, but it needs to be said". You appear to be using it to mean: "the truth hurts, so don't tell it".

Taqiyya is to do with lying in order to protect oneself - different topic altogether.

Both of them can be used to conceal the truth. Can't you see the connection?

^What he said.

Hate the sin, love the sinner - fair enough. Thanks for explaining, Osman!

And if you think harming people is always bad, period; then you are naive.

Thank you.

But I'm guessing you are just being hypocritical.

Thanks again.

The survival of your genes prove that.

All the best to you too!

Peace

 

[aamirsaab]

Greetings,


It may not be necessary to tell everyone, but it could be beneficial for you to tell me. I might need to know! If you've told the truth, I can't see what's wrong with that. If my partner has done something wrong, she needs to be prepared to live with the consequences. Concealing her wrong actions helps nobody.

Indeed you may need to know - so would it not be better for me to tell you directly as opposed to spreading rumours about that person? That's what backbiting is essentially: spreading rumours (may be true, may be false - either way v damaging and dishonourable).

Your use of the saying "the truth hurts" is interesting. Most English speakers use that phrase in the following way: "the truth hurts, but it needs to be said". You appear to be using it to mean: "the truth hurts, so don't tell it".

Yeah that was my bad. I should have clarified it. I accept people want to hear the truth, but there are ways and means of doing it. Backbiting is an underhand tactic; spreading rumours, talking behind people's backs, gossiping - all very harmful. If it is the truth you want, then I should give YOU the truth - not the whole town. It would be more honorable of me to talk to you about the alleged incidents as opposed to showing that person up in public (humiliation) or talking behind her back/gossiping (to others).

Both of them can be used to conceal the truth. Can't you see the connection?

I see the connection but I believe they are different topics: taqqiyah is concealing the truth so that you may live i.e. if someone threatens to kill you and the only way to get out of it is by lying; the backbiting ruling is not neccessarily about concealing truth (or lying), rather about not spreading rumours/gossiping.

 

[saba muslimah]

Very Nice Post...
JazakAllah,
"May Allah save our tounge from backbitting of any person"

 

[burdenofbeing]

...

All the best to you too!

Peace

Unless I'm terribly wrong, I'm guessing you are being sarcastic, and hint that I was insulting you. If that's the case, that wasn't my intent. At any rate, I'd like a clarification.

 

[ATHEISTofPEACE]

I see this is a Prohibition on talking behind peoples backs and spreading rumors. I see it mostly in reference to personal attacks on people. Am I right?

 

[aamirsaab]

I see this is a Prohibition on talking behind peoples backs and spreading rumors. I see it mostly in reference to personal attacks on people. Am I right?

Pretty much. If you think about it, it does actually make sense to discourage people from gas-bagging/gossiping. If you've ever heard people backbiting (or gossiping about someone), you know that what they are saying are usually very hurtful comments. Even if the comments are true, what you are doing is essentially bullying someone --- behind their backs no less (cowardice)! Saying it to their face is equally hurtful - imagine if it is coming from that persons friend? They'd feel betrayed and humiliated - that is not nice!

 

[ATHEISTofPEACE]

Pretty much. If you think about it, it does actually make sense to discourage people from gas-bagging/gossiping. If you've ever heard people backbiting (or gossiping about someone), you know that what they are saying are usually very hurtful comments. Even if the comments are true, what you are doing is essentially bullying someone --- behind their backs no less (cowardice)! Saying it to their face is equally hurtful - imagine if it is coming from that persons friend? They'd feel betrayed and humiliated - that is not nice!

Which is way I agreed it is a bad thing to do many pages back.

 

[Uthman]

With regards to backbiting Non-Muslims being permissible, I'm afraid that doesn't sit too well with my conscience but of course, anything in Islam must be proven from the Qur'an and/or the authentic Sunnah. Has Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa-sallam) been known to use the word 'brother' in reference to Non-Muslims as well? Or did he only use the word to describe Muslims?