Uthman
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If your friend really needs the advice and no names are mentioned to that extent then it's acceptable Inshaa'Allah.
The Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them
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Uthman
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Evidently, there is a lot of confusion about this so hopefully it can be clarified here once and for all. Brother Sampharo was kind enough to provide me some time ago with a list of conditions under which "backbiting" becomes permissible. Here is the list:
1- Matters of Justice: aiming to seek justice from a judge or policeman or to establish order or if you witness something.
2- Seeking assistance to help someone through whomever has authority over him, like telling the parents of a student what he does and what he's like to deal with him and fix him, or the husband of someone you saw do something wrong in public. We are also required to warn of a criminal, or a bad administrator to whomever manages him to correct him or remove him if needs be.
3- Seeking knowledge of right and wrong, so as to know. Such as coming to a mufti or a person of knowledge and asking "my brother or my wife is doing this and that, is that acceptable?" or finding out the ruling on a certain action.
4- Background check for business or marriage, in which case you are REQUIRED to say what you know even if it is harsh and embarrassing. The prophet was asked by a woman regarding two men (Aba al-Jahm and Muawiya) and he -pbuh- said: "As for Muawiya, is a pauper without money, and Abu Al-Jahm never lets down his stick (i.e. harsh, in another version travels too much like a bedouin)." Also if someone asks you about someone's reputation in settling debts or he wants to become a partner with them, you need to say the truth.
5- Jarh and TaAAdeel, which is Islamic "marking" of someone who's been known to be untrustworthy and therefore cannot have hadith or Islamic teaching accepted from him. For example we are required to point if someone is ignorant in religion or sectarian and gives misguided opinions so that others would notice and not take his words for granted.
6- If he is doing something in public without hiding or shame, talking about it is no longer backbiting. Such as artists making morally corrupt performances or someone publicly not fasting and eating in front of everyone or drinking alocohol at parties. You may not discuss other things about him that he does not practice in public though.
7- If it's used to refer to him or identify someone without belittling them, such as talking about someone with a common name and the one you communicate with mixes him up with someone else, so you describe him "The blind one" or "the one lost his job". Also permissible to mention the defect to inform someone about it to be sensitive or to behave accordingly, like informing someone "he can't hear you, he's deaf". It is not permissible to use it on the grounds of belittling the person though so you need to be careful with this one.
("Fiqh Al-Sunnah" Jurisprudence of Sunnah, Sayyed Sabeq, part 3/ Riyad Al-Saliheen)
2- Seeking assistance to help someone through whomever has authority over him, like telling the parents of a student what he does and what he's like to deal with him and fix him, or the husband of someone you saw do something wrong in public. We are also required to warn of a criminal, or a bad administrator to whomever manages him to correct him or remove him if needs be.
3- Seeking knowledge of right and wrong, so as to know. Such as coming to a mufti or a person of knowledge and asking "my brother or my wife is doing this and that, is that acceptable?" or finding out the ruling on a certain action.
4- Background check for business or marriage, in which case you are REQUIRED to say what you know even if it is harsh and embarrassing. The prophet was asked by a woman regarding two men (Aba al-Jahm and Muawiya) and he -pbuh- said: "As for Muawiya, is a pauper without money, and Abu Al-Jahm never lets down his stick (i.e. harsh, in another version travels too much like a bedouin)." Also if someone asks you about someone's reputation in settling debts or he wants to become a partner with them, you need to say the truth.
5- Jarh and TaAAdeel, which is Islamic "marking" of someone who's been known to be untrustworthy and therefore cannot have hadith or Islamic teaching accepted from him. For example we are required to point if someone is ignorant in religion or sectarian and gives misguided opinions so that others would notice and not take his words for granted.
6- If he is doing something in public without hiding or shame, talking about it is no longer backbiting. Such as artists making morally corrupt performances or someone publicly not fasting and eating in front of everyone or drinking alocohol at parties. You may not discuss other things about him that he does not practice in public though.
7- If it's used to refer to him or identify someone without belittling them, such as talking about someone with a common name and the one you communicate with mixes him up with someone else, so you describe him "The blind one" or "the one lost his job". Also permissible to mention the defect to inform someone about it to be sensitive or to behave accordingly, like informing someone "he can't hear you, he's deaf". It is not permissible to use it on the grounds of belittling the person though so you need to be careful with this one.
("Fiqh Al-Sunnah" Jurisprudence of Sunnah, Sayyed Sabeq, part 3/ Riyad Al-Saliheen)
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