They make me feel so unhappy.

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SittingInPlace

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Assalamualaikum Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh brothers and sisters.

I am struggling with my family. Over the summer I took a brake from them and stayed with my aunt and her family. We are all muslim, but they practice more than my family does. Their household was so happy and nice I didn't want to leave, but I had to of course. Upon getting back home I felt intently unhappy, and now notice things I never did before about my own family.

I am trying to bring my family together and help us grow as a Muslim family, but I feel I'm going nowhere. My little sister is rude to everyone, old or young. She makes me angry with the things she says and how she acts. My mother could be extermly arrogant, and the list goes on. I have been playing qur'an everyday in our home and calling my sisters and brothers to pray. But I still feel so unhappy here and as if nothing has changed.

My mother always gets angry with me when I try to advice her in islam. She says, "You really think you know more about Islam than me?" Or she'll bring up our ages in a way of telling me I know nothing compared to her. I am trying not to get too upset because I am fasting but it's hard. I was trying to be strong for my family and pray to Allah to unite us and help them all sew things the way I do, but today I have been crying none stop from the none stop disrespect and anger given to me. Now all I want is for Allah to send me a husband to take me away to a place where I could start a peaceful islamic home without them.

I don't know what to do about this. I am so unhappy here. I don't want to be here anymore. I want them to become closer to Allah the way I have, but I feel they are too arrogant to even take a step in the right direction. How do I get them to open their eyes and see what they are doing? How do I get them to change for the sake of Allah (swt)?
 
Give them a video about Jahanam and Jannah, it got one of my terrible Muslim friends to be a better muslim. That might work.
But Allahuakbar may Allah reward you for your intentions, I'll keep you in mind in my duas :)
 
Wa'alaikumussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
When a companion was afraid of his capacity to complete an assignment on behalf of the messenger of Allah (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and stopped eating and drinking out of despair, the messenger of Allah is reported to have told him: Inna ma 'alaikal jahd. Nothing but your best effort is upon you.

If you let the negativity get to you too much it will get you down and might even make you slip out of frustration,
Recall that other people stronger than ourselves have gone through similar or more frustrtrating/depressing situations than we, but somehow persevered through it until Allah showed them a way out.

The Prophet Ibrahim (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who loved his father (who was definitely hell bound) was quite young when he (pbuh) experienced the following, however he patiently (and sometimes militantly) did his best given the situation, then migrated for the sake of Allah when the guidance became clear and the people's blind hatred became clear:

41.*(Also mention in the Book (the story of) Abraham: He was a man of Truth, a prophet.
42.*Behold, he said to his father:
"O my father! why worship that which heareth not and seeth not, and can profit thee nothing?
43.*"O my father! to me hath come knowledge which hath not reached thee: so follow me: I will guide thee to a way that is even and straight.
44.*"O my father! serve not Satan: for Satan is a rebel against ((Allah)) Most Gracious.
45.*"O my father! I fear lest a Penalty afflict thee from ((Allah)) Most Gracious, so that thou become to Satan a friend."
46.*(The father) replied: "Dost thou hate my gods, O Abraham? If thou forbear not, I will indeed stone thee: Now get away from me for a good long while!"
47.*Abraham said: "Peace be on thee: I will pray to my Lord for thy forgiveness: for He is to me Most Gracious.
48.*"And I will turn away from you (all) and from those whom ye invoke besides Allah. I will call on my Lord: perhaps, by my prayer to my Lord, I shall be not unblest."
49.*When he had turned away from them and from those whom they worshipped besides Allah, We bestowed on him Isaac and Jacob, and each one of them We made a prophet.
50.*And We bestowed of Our Mercy on them, and We granted them lofty honour on the tongue of truth.

Quran, Chapter Mary.
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The glass it appears is more full than empty in the case of you and your family :) - why not try working on it with that assurance?
 
I feel so awful for you!!

Are they taking advantage of this month? Do you all eat suhoor and iftaar as a family? If so, it is a really great time to make dhikr and bond with family. Going around the table and each member reciting a small surah just might break a hard heart!

You mentioned you play the Quran at home. Recite it instead, especially Surah Al-Baqarah. If not the whole thing, then the first 5, ayatul kursi, and last 2. Enter the home with Bismillah and Salaam :)

You are in my duaa! May Allah Strengthen you and bless your efforts. I pray Allah guides your family to better manners and awareness of Him. I pray you find a compatible hubby and Allah puts immense blessings into your future household, Ameen!
 
Walaikumasalaam,

It is very painful to see someone you love turn away Islam or not practice Islam properly.

When you're trying to correct, amend or change someone's habits, ways or mentality we need to do so, with adaab, especially when we're speaking to our parents.

I know this is very very hard and certain situations test your patience, more than others but you need to find a way to communicate your message accross, so your family listens to you, without feeling a personal attack has been made.

I find when you lead by example, this serves to be a great influence in people's lives, especially, when you're at home.

Continue making dua, especially before you open your fast, as duas are more likely to be accepted around that time.

Again, this is very hard, but don't let the current situation dictate your emotions. I came across a good quote today - the person who makes you angry controls you, - so don't let your emotions get the better of you.

Everytime you find yourself making dawah, and you're met with negative response, quitely pray to Allah swt to give you inner strength.

Allah swt knows and understand what you're going through, speak to Allah swt and remember the struggles and hardships of our prophet's (peace and blessings upon them all).

In sha Allah their lives and stories will motivate you and help you through tough times. Ameen.
 
Lady A said:
I feel so awful for you!!

Are they taking advantage of this month? Do you all eat suhoor and iftaar as a family? If so, it is a really great time to make dhikr and bond with family. Going around the table and each member reciting a small surah just might break a hard heart!

You mentioned you play the Quran at home. Recite it instead, especially Surah Al-Baqarah. If not the whole thing, then the first 5, ayatul kursi, and last 2. Enter the home with Bismillah and Salaam :)

You are in my duaa! May Allah Strengthen you and bless your efforts. I pray Allah guides your family to better manners and awareness of Him. I pray you find a compatible hubby and Allah puts immense blessings into your future household, Ameen!
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Jazaakum Allaahu khayran! I am fasting and my two sisters and my brother are as well. But not everyone in the house. We wake up and my mom always gets upset with us because we're being too loud or laughing too much when we wake up to eat. We don't pray together, it's only me and my siblings (the ones I have influence over of course). I pray for them all the time and they make it hard on me still. Just today my sister was disrespecting me in public in front of people and I had to hold myself back in fear of braking my fast by getting to angry or saying something too harsh. It's like getting slapped in the face and having to turn the other cheek really. I play baqurah and waqiah the most. I play as I cook, clean, and always after fajr. Inshallah it will soon touch their hearts. Ameen.
 
Abz2000 said:
Wa'alaikumussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
When a companion was afraid of his capacity to complete an assignment on behalf of the messenger of Allah (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and stopped eating and drinking out of despair, the messenger of Allah is reported to have told him: Inna ma 'alaikal jahd. Nothing but your best effort is upon you.

If you let the negativity get to you too much it will get you down and might even make you slip out of frustration,
Recall that other people stronger than ourselves have gone through similar or more frustrtrating/depressing situations than we, but somehow persevered through it until Allah showed them a way out.

The Prophet Ibrahim (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who loved his father (who was definitely hell bound) was quite young when he (pbuh) experienced the following, however he patiently (and sometimes militantly) did his best given the situation, then migrated for the sake of Allah when the guidance became clear and the people's blind hatred became clear:



The glass it appears is more full than empty in the case of you and your family :) - why not try working on it with that assurance?
Click to expand...
Jazaakum Allaahu khayran, I want to help them. I understand what you man and I deeply appreciate every word. I want a better islamic environment. But we all have our test and inshallah I shall past this one.
 
BeTheChange said:
Walaikumasalaam,

It is very painful to see someone you love turn away Islam or not practice Islam properly.

When you're trying to correct, amend or change someone's habits, ways or mentality we need to do so, with adaab, especially when we're speaking to our parents.

I know this is very very hard and certain situations test your patience, more than others but you need to find a way to communicate your message accross, so your family listens to you, without feeling a personal attack has been made.

I find when you lead by example, this serves to be a great influence in people's lives, especially, when you're at home.

Continue making dua, especially before you open your fast, as duas are more likely to be accepted around that time.

Again, this is very hard, but don't let the current situation dictate your emotions. I came across a good quote today - the person who makes you angry controls you, - so don't let your emotions get the better of you.

Everytime you find yourself making dawah, and you're met with negative response, quitely pray to Allah swt to give you inner strength.

Allah swt knows and understand what you're going through, speak to Allah swt and remember the struggles and hardships of our prophet's (peace and blessings upon them all).

In sha Allah their lives and stories will motivate you and help you through tough times. Ameen.
Click to expand...
Jazaakum Allaahu khayran, I have been trying and delivering my advice with the up most respect to both my parents and my younger siblings. Inshallah it will soon be understood without the harsh comments and disrespect for my family as a whole. I have made many dua to help me with this, one being for inner strength. Jaza Jazaakum Allaahu khayran for all you have said.
 
SittingInPlace said:
Just today my sister was disrespecting me in public in front of people and I had to hold myself back in fear of braking my fast by getting to angry or saying something too harsh. It's like getting slapped in the face and having to turn the other cheek really.
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She's giving you her hard earned good deeds for free :D
 
The best you can do for your family sister, is to make dua and keep quiet and patient in matters which would otherwise irk you. Lead by example, not by word. Slowly, your example may humble their mouths, and take effect on their hearts.

Islam is walked, not talked, dear sister - you are upon the correct guidance it seems, so keep going :)

Scimi
 
Sorry just to get a bit of background on the whole situation - did your father convert to a different religion or was he never Muslim?
 
~ Sabr ~ said:
Sorry just to get a bit of background on the whole situation - did your father convert to a different religion or was he never Muslim?
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He was technically never muslim. He only studied Islam before I was born and awhile after my parents were married. He almost completely recents the religion now.
 
Wow. So you can see why it is so hard for your siblings and your mother. When I was little, regarding religion I always looked up to my father, rather than my mother. I know you mean well, but this is the sort of thing that parents normally do for children. Are you the eldest?
 
~ Sabr ~ said:
Wow. So you can see why it is so hard for your siblings and your mother. When I was little, regarding religion I always looked up to my father, rather than my mother. I know you mean well, but this is the sort of thing that parents normally do for children. Are you the eldest?
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Yes I am the eldest. I don't look up to my dad for much of anything alhamdulillah. But I keep up with him and communicate with him no matter what he says or does for the sake of Allah. I am the oldest of five and I'm trying to be a role model.
 
SubhaanAllaah sis I pray you succeed. Maybe try bonding with your siblings on what they like doing first, before explaining about Islam to them?
 
~ Sabr ~ said:
SubhaanAllaah sis I pray you succeed. Maybe try bonding with your siblings on what they like doing first, before explaining about Islam to them?
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I try, but it can be hard to do. My youngest sister has little respect for everyone and my younger siblings are always in and out with it. They'll pray and practice as long as I'm there, but when I'm not praying or not around they don't. I'd have to tell them and remind them over and over again just to pray and remember Allah. I just want the best for my family, but I'm starting with the ones that I have somewhat of an influence over.
 
I hope things get better in sha Allah.
We wake up and my mom always gets upset with us because we're being too loud or laughing too much when we wake up to eat.
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Maybe you should try your best to be very quiet, not talk or laugh and simply eat your food so as not to disturb her.
 
Alpha Dude said:
I hope things get better in sha Allah.


Maybe you should try your best to be very quiet, not talk or laugh and simply eat your food so as not to disturb her.
Click to expand...
Inshallah. That's what I try in get across to my siblings now, but it's kind of hard for them. They are 15, 12, and 11. They love to talk and laugh with one another. I close her door and ask them to keep it down and they are better at this. I wouldn't tell them to stop talking, because we are never really together in one place like that, happy with one another and I like that mashallah. But I try to make it to where my mom is not disturbed.
 

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