Thinking about Heaven too much

[lilmissnisi]

I am currently having depression and I can't talk to my parents and my friends right now and I'm trying very hard to pray as much as I can at least day by day to get guidance from Allah and avoiding haram. Sometimes I think about suicide but have not really attempted in doing so because I'm a patient person and maybe if I commit, I will go to Hell and have made sins which I did not realise in doing so.

My problem is everytime I cry, I think of Heaven and how great it must be up there. I've been taught that I should be scared of death and before that I was scared of death but now I have depression, I feel that maybe death is not going to be bad after all, after all I'm going to Heaven.

I don't have much social life and avoiding non-muslims. I have read the Strangeness article somewhere in this section and I don't wear a hijab, I don't read the Qu'ran, but I avoid haram such as eating pork, drinking alcohol etc. Is this a praiseworthy strangeness or a blameworthy strangeness. I'm trying to make right of myself but still make errors such as temptations and desires such as alcohol etc. I'm trying to make this my new year's resolution.

Help thank you

 

[- Qatada -]

Asalaamu alaikum (peace be upon you) sister.


You know, the first thing that's noticeable from your post is that you're a sincere person, and mashaAllah that's something amazing because satan promised that he would lead astray all the children of Adam, except the sincere ones. [Qur'an 15:39-40] So sincerity is something you have, and this is the best step you can take to draw closer to Allah and His reward of Heaven.



The next thing which is really noticeable from your post is that you recognize your mistakes, again - this is something really good because realizing your mistakes is the first step in overcoming them. Having that regret feeling for doing something bad is a sign that you feel bad for committing a sin against Allah. So regret for doing something wrong is really praiseworthy. When you feel regret, ask Allah to forgive you for your mistakes.. and He is the Most Merciful.




You might desire to have friends who aren't muslims, but you've mentioned that these friends can be a bad influence in some ways.


Allaah's Messenger spoke the truth when he said:

"A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend."

[Recorded in Abu Dawud & Tirmidhi]




The first step to take is to try to get access to good, Muslim female friends. People who put the religion into practise and have knowledge about it. A good place to start off is this forum, since there are people here who are willing to be friends with you, people who have the same aims, people who also want to go to heaven aswell.


The second thing to do is to try to pray more often, and whenever you need to cry out for help - then do turn to Allah. Remember that He is aware of your situation, and He will support you, He will respond to you even if it takes a little bit of time. Because He says in the Qur'an (translation of the meaning):

..it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. [Qur'an 2: 216]


​

The more you are dependant and in need of help, the more you turn to Allah.. because no-one can fix your situation except Him.



Allah also says (translation of the meaning):

Recite what is sent of the Book by inspiration to you (the Qur'an), and establish regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the greatest (thing in life) without doubt. And Allah knows the (deeds) that ye do.

[Qur'an 29: 45]



​

If you are constant in prayer, then this will help you prevent having alcohol - because you will be aware that you have to pray, therefore you will avoid taking the alcohol in order to pray. You will be aware that you are going to stand before Allah, asking Him for that guidance, mercy and reward - and you will know that you do not want to stand infront of Him while you are in a state of disobedience. The prayer then will be a aid in you stopping your alcohol habit insha Allah [God willing.]


It will also aid you in wearing hijab, because wearing hijab in prayer will make you feel comfortable with it, this might be the first step. Gradually, you can wear looser clothes when you go outside, then maybe a bandanna for example? Then gradually a headscarf, to the extent that you are comfortable enough to wear hijab and looser clothing outside the home.



It's good that you are not going to commit suicide, since that is not the best alternative. Allah says (translation of the meaning):

And do not kill yourselves (nor kill one another). Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you. [Qur'an 4: 29]


​

When you cry, cry to Allah.. When you need help, turn to the One who has power over all things.. He is the best of responders, the Hearer, the Knower.



About your strangeness, it might be that your strangeness will lead you to a greater good. The strangeness which is praiseworthy is when you are rejected by others, simply because you did something for the sake of Allah. So if you do not hang out with people who drink alcohol, and do immoral acts - then yes, you have a praiseworthy strangeness. Did you know that if you give up something - which was immoral - for the sake of Allah, He will replace you with something better for it instead? If you can't see it now, you will surely see it in the future insha Allah, in this life or the next.



Here are some good links by the way, their really nice about heaven - which might encourage you to strive more towards it, ameen.


http://www.islamicboard.com/miscellaneous/26931-description-paradise-ibn-al-qayyim.html
http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-multimedia/32413-meeting-allah-short-video.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/hereafter/
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?c=Article_C&cid=1175008701546&pagename=Zone-English-Living_Shariah%2FLSELayout





We will keep you in our prayers sister, and i hope that anyone else who reads your question also prays for you. May Allah make you successful in this life and the next, ameen.

 

[syilla]

:salamext:

Don't be sad...smile a little. Even a smile is a charity and you'll be rewarded .

And just remember this...giving up is never the option. It is the effort of trying that is the most important thing. The effort itself will be rewarded.

Just remember its okay to try everything slowly because the main important thing is not to stop before reaching the destination...

and remember we are only a human being.

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/33643-dont-sad.html

Don't Carry The Weight Of The Globe On Your Shoulders



In a certain class of people there rages an internal war, one that doesn’t take place on the battlefield, but in one’s bedroom, one’s office, one’s own home. It is a war that results in ulcers or an increase in blood pressure. Everything frustrates these people: they become angry at inflation, furious because the rains came late, and exasperated when the value of their currency falls. They are forever perturbed and vexed, no matter what the reason.

“They think that every cry is against them.” Surah Al-Munafiqun – Ayah 4.

My advice to you is this: do not carry the weight of the globe on your shoulders. Let the ground carry the burden of those things that happen, and do not attempt to carry them. Some people have a heart that is like a sponge, absorbing all kinds of fallacies and misconceptions. It is troubled by the most insignificant of matters, somehow being troubled by all that takes place. This kind of heart is sure to destroy its possessor.

Those who are principled and are upon the true path are not shaken by hardship; instead, their faith increases. But the reverse is true for the weak-hearted: when they face adversity or trouble, it is only their level of fear that increases. At a time of calamity, there is nothing more beneficial to you than a brave heart. The one who has such a heart is composed - he has firm faith and cool nerves. On the other hand, during the course of any given day, the coward slaughters himself many times with apprehensions and presentiments of impending doom. Therefore, if you desire for yourself a stable life, face all situations with bravery and perseverance.

“And let not those who have no certainty of faith discourage you.” Surah Ar-Rum - Ayah 60.

Be more resolute than your circumstances and more ferocious than the winds of calamity. May mercy descend upon the weak-hearted, for how often are they shaken by the smallest of tremors.

“And verily, you will find them the greediest of mankind for life.” Surah Al-Baqarah – Ayah 96.

As for those who are resolute, they receive help from their Lord and are confident of His promise.

“He sent down calmness and tranquillity upon them.” Surah Al-Fath – Ayah 18.

Being Sad Is Not Encouraged In Our Religion



Allah has asked us not be sad. He says:

“So do not become weak [against your enemy], nor be sad…” Surah Al-Imran - Ayah 139.

“And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot.” Surah An-Nahl - Ayah127.

“Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.” Surah At-Taubah - Ayah 40.

We are informed in the following verse about the believers that:

“…upon such shall come no fear, nor shall they grieve.” Surah Al-Baqarah - Ayah 38.

Sadness enervates the spirit’s will to action, paralysing the body into inactivity. The secret of this is that sadness prevents one from action instead of compelling one towards it. The heart benefits nothing through grief. The most beloved thing to the Devil is to make the worshipper sad in order to prevent him from continuing on his path. Allah says:

“Secret counsels [conspiracies] are only from Shaytaan (Satan), in order that he may cause grief to the believers.” Surah Al-Mujadilah – Ayah 10.

In the following hadith, the Prophet Sallalahu Alayhi Wasalam said:

“In a company of three, it is forbidden for two to hold secret counsel while excluding the third, as this will be a cause of sadness for him.”

Contrary to what some believe (those who have an extreme ascetic bent), the believer should not seek out sadness, because sadness is a harmful element that afflicts the soul. The Muslim must repel sadness, fighting it in any way that is permissible in our Religion. There is no real benefit in sadness; the Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alayhi Wasalam sought refuge from it in the following supplication:

“O’ Allah, I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief.”

Grief is coupled with anxiety in this hadith. The difference between the two is that if a bad feeling that pervades the heart is related to what is going to happen in the future, then it is anxiety. And if the cause of this feeling concerns the past, then it is grief. Both of them weaken the heart, causing inactivity and a decrease in will power.

 

[The Ruler]

I know what I say will be nothing close to the two posts above, but...

I am currently having depression and I can't talk to my parents and my friends right now and I'm trying very hard to pray as much as I can at least day by day to get guidance from Allah and avoiding haram. Sometimes I think about suicide but have not really attempted in doing so because I'm a patient person and maybe if I commit, I will go to Hell and have made sins which I did not realise in doing so.

Not 'maybe', you will go to hell if you commit suicide. Islam condemns self harming. Read this. It's a really good article.

My problem is everytime I cry, I think of Heaven and how great it must be up there. I've been taught that I should be scared of death and before that I was scared of death but now I have depression, I feel that maybe death is not going to be bad after all, after all I'm going to Heaven.

Perhaps at this moment, you should also be thinking of all the good deeds you can do if you don't die. All the possibilities of earning Jannah that you'll miss.

I don't have much social life and avoiding non-muslims.

You know, I'll be honest and tell you, I've never ever gone out with a friend of mine. Not because I'm not allowed or anything; but because I don't have a social life... And well, I'm not too keen either.

I'm trying to make right of myself but still make errors such as temptations and desires such as alcohol etc. I'm trying to make this my new year's resolution.

Help thank you

It is in our human nature to err. But that is why Allah is Most Forgiving and Most Kind. We must ask for forgiveness and try hard to not do it again. If we slip, we must forse ourselves to get up and walk again.

May Allah help us through our hard times.

 

[adeeb]

good idea of heaven... but educate your self how to get in to it...

heaven is the end of the journey...and struggle in this life...

and hell is price for the musyrikien and sinfull person....

after do good deeds, ask Allah to accept those deeds and pray May Allah give us jannah... ameen allahumma ameen

 

[lilmissnisi]

hi adeeb, i see ur location is in Indonesia. I'm from Indonesia but I live in the UK

 

[adeeb]

yes i'm. i'm in surabaya, east java... which part of indonesia are u from?

what do you do in england? study?

 

[morate]

I don't read the Qu'ran

Sister, I too have struggled with depression at times. It can be a very serious thing. Please do read the Qu'ran. In reading Allah's words we can find hope and guidance. Reading the Qu'ran can give you the strength and hope you are lacking right now. You can find direction and guidance, acceptance and forgiveness there. Please do this for yourself.

And as an educator and therapist I feel it only right to implore, please, if you feel there is too much for you alone to handle, seek someone to speak with. This forum is wonderful but also in person, a counselor, Imam, physician. Do not bear this hardship alone.
May Allah guide you,:Koran:

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you lilmissnisi; welcome to the forum, I pray that you will be greatly encouraged by all the wisdom from your brothers and sisters.

Despite all your perceived weaknesses, I believe you also have strength. I am only 58 and have found that life is a struggle always one day at a time, somehow we have to search for that strength that is already inside us. And we find it by striving to do all the good things Allah commands us to do.

Destiny Douglas C Hess
Watch Your Thoughts, For They Become Words,
Choose Your Words, For They Become Actions,
Understand Your Actions, For They Become Habits.
Study Your Habits, For They Become Your Character,
Develop Your Character, For It Becomes Your Destiny.

You may have some thoughts, and you might test them out by talking to someone. If they aren’t to hostile to your ideas you might put your words into action, you might repeat your actions until they become habits, eventually habits will form your character and destiny.

If there is any truth in these words then it seems our destiny starts from our own thoughts.

It is within your power to gain control of your thoughts, you do not have to believe me, you only have to believe in yourself.

In the spirit of searching for that inner peace

Eric