Assalaamu Alaikum,
Over the last few months, I started getting strong waswas about Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). It first started regarding his wives and the thoughts were beyond awful.
However, after some time, I started thinking these thoughts myself as well on purpose. It happened quite often and it felt like a rebellious force overtakes me and I wouldn't care at all about thinking bad thoughts. I would think thoughts of Kufr or awful thoughts about Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) during Salaat or at other times. I would feel no regret at all in my heart and I would just tell myself that as long as I don't say it out loud, it's not a problem. I won't become kufr by JUST thinking this. This is what goes through my mind at the time when I am thinking all these Kufr thoughts. Even during prostration, such thoughts would be going through my mind. I know these thoughts are wrong, as in, I know that just because I am not saying it out loud, it doesn't mean I can just think Kufr thoughts whenever I feel. But there were times when this was not the case in my head....
Sometime later I would then feel regret over the thoughts. For instance during the entire Salaat I might be thinking such thoughts. I would say Auoozu Billahi and spit three times to the left and then go back to thinking these thoughts again. I would be thinking, I don't care, this can't hurt me etc. But then after Salaat ends, I would feel regret and make Dua to remove the impurity from my heart and my soul. What is that exactly? Is that what is meant by having to control your nafs?
Is this considered Kufr? Because they were evil thoughts I got on my own. Alhamdulillah it's better now because my husband advised me not to dwell on these thoughts anymore and that has helped me not to think it on my own as well. That and trying to gain more ilm. I am worried thought that this could be considered a kufr? Especially due to the no regret thing that occurs at the time. And I am always getting waswas about my nikah and thinking such things would invalidate it. Please help me.
Over the last few months, I started getting strong waswas about Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). It first started regarding his wives and the thoughts were beyond awful.
However, after some time, I started thinking these thoughts myself as well on purpose. It happened quite often and it felt like a rebellious force overtakes me and I wouldn't care at all about thinking bad thoughts. I would think thoughts of Kufr or awful thoughts about Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) during Salaat or at other times. I would feel no regret at all in my heart and I would just tell myself that as long as I don't say it out loud, it's not a problem. I won't become kufr by JUST thinking this. This is what goes through my mind at the time when I am thinking all these Kufr thoughts. Even during prostration, such thoughts would be going through my mind. I know these thoughts are wrong, as in, I know that just because I am not saying it out loud, it doesn't mean I can just think Kufr thoughts whenever I feel. But there were times when this was not the case in my head....
Sometime later I would then feel regret over the thoughts. For instance during the entire Salaat I might be thinking such thoughts. I would say Auoozu Billahi and spit three times to the left and then go back to thinking these thoughts again. I would be thinking, I don't care, this can't hurt me etc. But then after Salaat ends, I would feel regret and make Dua to remove the impurity from my heart and my soul. What is that exactly? Is that what is meant by having to control your nafs?
Is this considered Kufr? Because they were evil thoughts I got on my own. Alhamdulillah it's better now because my husband advised me not to dwell on these thoughts anymore and that has helped me not to think it on my own as well. That and trying to gain more ilm. I am worried thought that this could be considered a kufr? Especially due to the no regret thing that occurs at the time. And I am always getting waswas about my nikah and thinking such things would invalidate it. Please help me.
eace: