to wear the hijab or not to wear the hijab

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faizacadday

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when i first college i wore the hijab the long one but am thinking, maybe i should wear a scarf this semster... well it's not peer presure or anything is just that am lost right now..... i love being a muslim girl and i know that i shouldn't be enjoying life that we should act as treavlers and all that.... i know all this but how am i suppose to be me if i feel confused about every decision i have to make.... also what do u guys think about talking to the opposite sex is that sinful....see am talking to this guy and he send me his picture should i sent him mine.... he is soooooooo sweet and he usually dont talk about sinful things..... am trying to stop the conversation if they lead to any sexual things .... is it okey if i meet the opposite sex if sinfull thing dont occure....

leave ur comments and let them be good ones .thank u :statisfie

dont mind me i forgot to proof read it
 
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Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
Unfortunately dear sister the problem you face is becoming quite a common one in todays western society. Even though we may not experience direct peer pressure often what we feel is societal pressure to do things which compromises or contradicts our Islam. You bring up two very important issues; first removing your hijab, or khimar as some might call it, and talking to and sitting with men. Undoubtedly both of these situations are not permissible. Allah says, "And (tell the believing women) not to display their zeenah (adornment) except that which is apparent from it." This verse makes the obligation of covering clear. And wearing a scarf will not fulfill this command. The issue of mixing with men is even more grave as it leads to zeenah. "A man and a woman are never together except that the third person is the shaytan." We should all do our best to fear Allah to the best of our abilities and stay away from those matters that may lead us to sin especially those things which are apparent. I might also suggest you look at those people who you are surrounding yourself with. Try to find religious sisters that you can have fun with and that will constantly remind you of Allah. May Allah grant you sucess in your affair and protect us all from those major sins Ameen.
 
when i first college i wore the hijab the long one but am thinking, maybe i should wear a scarf this semster... well it's not peer presure or anything is just that am lost right now..... i love being a muslim girl and i know that i shouldn't be enjoying life that we should act as treavlers and all that.... i know all this but how am i suppose to be me if i feel confused about every decision i have to make....
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Asallama Alaikum Sis America it's very common peer pressure directly or indirectly still has an affect on you one way or another.You may start looking into society and desire the life style you see around you.You see all these women uncovered openly associating with men and you feel left out or alone.So you slowly start to dislike the jilbab or Islam and you wish to fit in with society.That my sister is the stage of peer pressure which you are in right now.Your Jilbab(your garment of protection) is a rahma and a blessing from Allah S.W.T to you.Don't let the Shaytaan deceive you and make it ugly or burdening on you.The Shaytaan is very clever;first he will tell you to drop the long Jilbab and shorten it,then he will tell you to shorten the shortened jilbab,then what's left over but for you to discard the Jilbab?So the Shaytaan doesn't immediatly come to you and say,"Oh,the Jilbab is such a burden on college life and you need relaxation so just drop it."No,he comes to you step by step,move by move.Sister if you know what you're doing is bad and against Islam then why are you doing it in the first place?Yes,I'll agree with you sometimes it feels depressing and you feel like just giving in and totally careless of anything,but that still doesn't justify the action.If calamity or hardship befalls us we shouldn't despair and give into Shaytaan.In this cruel Western World it's very hard to always be Islamic,especially in Society,but always remember you are Islam,you represent Islam,Islam is inscribed in your blood it runs through you like how your blood runs through your veins.So when you disobey Allah and turn away from Islam even for only that little minute just know you turned away from your life,your lord,your self,and everything you represent.Which one would you rather choose to enjoy yourself for a minute which has absolutely no effect on you,but a negative one or to keep your Islam and maintain it to the position which it deserves?
 
:sl: shukri thank u my muslim sister. i respect and love what u have to say, life is hard but one thing i know is that i dont want Allah to give up on me, i decided to wear my hijab even with if the calfornia wheather is hot, cuz i know that hell is alot worse....to tell u the truth i dont think i would have worn the scarf... am not into people looking at me even if it is hand.loool i rather be in jannah fardowsa so am going to deal with the stares of nonbelievers:happy: ..... thanks shukri and abdulhaqqibnluv for ur comment.... may allah bless ur salats.....and may there be more happyness in both of ur lives
:w:
 
this is kinda off topic.. but i personally think the headscarf by itself is pointless.. as it doesnt prevent the opposite sex from lookin.. like i wear a hijaab to school but i still get approached by losers.. its so annoying.. i think the only way to ward off guys and pervy looks is by wearing the niqaab.. which i'm so totally gonna wear after i leave school, inshallah.
 
i think it depends vastly on the type of headscarf and how it is worn...for example there is very little point in wearing a headscarf that looks more like a bandana and reveals the neck/chest ect
 
:salamext:

Sis, i think its important for you to understand the reasons why its not permissible for all this stuff to happen, instead of just feeling like you're forced to follow islam. everything that Allaah Almighty prescribes for the people is for their own good, we dont know the full depth/wisdom inside of it, but maybe you'd like to see some of the reasons behind it, but Allaah Almighty knows best.





masha Allaah its really good that you're interested in islam.. this is a really strong sign that Allaah the Most Beneficial loves you, and wants you to be successful in this life, and the afterlife - so you can enter jannah insha Allaah (God willing.)


-----

Loves a really strange thing, and it cant even be explained - its a feeling that involves; joy, sadness, anger, weakness, strength.. the list goes on and on.

How can one word really describe all them emotions?

'Okay' you say to yourself.. i dno how to explain love, but you have to ask yourself; am i really prepared for it? You tell yourself its hit you - but even if it has - are you really prepared to live with it?


Most people, before experiencing it hear/read/see that love is just like a fairy tale, and that once you've fallen into it - you live 'happily ever after.'

But once it hits a person - its shocking because its already affected the person before they've realised it.. Its like a drug; you dont know its consequences because you've never experimented with it before, but once you take it - you want more and more.. when gradually - you cant survive without it. You'll do anything to get it back, even though you know it will keep hurting you.

This usually happens when its a love outside marriage, a haraam love - and it has the effects of a illegal drug/a haraam drug.


-------


This is why islam totally prohibits love outside of marriage, and having sex outside of marriage is a major sin, and whoever does that without repenting in this life will get double the punishment on the day of judgement.


Those who invoke not, with God, any other god, nor slay such life as God has made sacred except for just cause, nor commit fornication; - and any that does this (not only) meets punishment.


(But) the Penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to him, and he will dwell therein in shame,-

Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for God will change the evil of such persons into good, and God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful


And whoever repents and does good has truly turned to God with an (acceptable) conversion;-


[25:68 - 71]
​


This is how serious fornication (sex outside of marriage) in islam is, its strictly prohibited and totally haraam, in the qur'an, Allaah Almighty says:


And go not nigh to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way. (17:32)
​


Allaah Almighty says that dont even go near adultery, nevermind even doing it, thats how much it is hated in islam.

Theirs alot of reasons why its not allowed in islam, one of the reasons is
because it destroys families, without certainty whos child it may be, it even creates worser crimes such as rape, which can lead to diseases like aids, HIV, etc.

you can read more about that from this link insha Allaah:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503548032


to help on that situation; Allaah the Most Merciful says:

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that will make for greater purity for them...Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty...O you believers! Turn you all together towards Allah that you may attain success" (24:30,31)​


more info to help on that insha Allaah:
http://www.jannah.org/articles/gazelow.html



Its also really important to hang out with the right crowd - because they influence you on what you do, and what you dont do, so try to make really good, muslimah friends insha Allaah.


Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) really emphasised on how your friends affect what kind of person you are:

“The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him.”
​

(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, this version being Muslim’s)you can read the explanation of the above hadith from the following link insha Allaah:

http://www.islamonline.net/English/HadithAndItsSciences/ThisHadith/2005/03/01.shtml


so to simplify the hadith (saying of our beloved Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi
waSalam) up; is to say that the people a person hangs out with; affects that person.

the example used is of a musk seller and a furnace blower. so by being with the musk seller, he may give you some musk so you may smell nice and people will like you for that.

whereas if you be with the furnace blower - he may even burn your clothes or you may get a bad smell from him. so you may get hurt while hanging out with the wrong crowd and you may get a bad reputation due to the acts of the bad people you hang around with.


Once you start making more muslimah (female muslims) your friends - you'll realise they'll have a better influence to you insha Allaah, because they will have the same aim as you - to become a better muslim, and will try to commit as less sins insha Allaah.

Even if you cant make alot of mates, maybe because of where you live - its important you stay in a more islamic environment, so maybe even the forum could be that environment insha Allaah. (God willing.)


If you start focusing more on wanting to become a really good muslimah - Allaah the Most Merciful will know your intention - that you do want to do good, and practice islam in your life (because islam is a way of life) and Allaah the Most Beneficial will help you through that insha Allaah.


You probably still feel really guilty because of what has happened in the past, but its really important to remember that Allaah the Most Merciful's forgiveness is so great, greater than you can imagine..

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) narrated that Allaah the Most Merciful said:



O son (or daughter) of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son (or daughter) of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son (or daughter) of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.

(Hadith Qudsi - 34)​


Now do you see how Merciful our Lord is? you have to remember that as long as you are living, you still have time to ask for forgiveness and to repent, but you also have to keep in mind that you dont know how long your going to live - so make sure you do repent fast and make it sincere so you dont try to commit that sin no more.

After you've asked for this forgiveness sincerely.. our Most Merciful Lord tells us:


...Allaah will change the evil of such persons into good, and God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (25:70)​


Now how lucky is that! :eek:


Like you've read, any sort of relationship with the opposite gender who is not a mahram is haraam.

You can check these links to find out the reasons behind it.

Talking with members of the opposite sex


Having a Girlfriend/boyfriend: Permissible?


And read how islam encourages love within marriage, and how you get rewarded for having a relationship with your marriage partner, instead of sinning by doing it outside of marriage:

Please read how:

Islam Encourages Love and Equality within Marriage.
http://www.islamicboard.com/83896-post73.html




..and Allaah is the Source of All Strength.
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:wasalamex
 
:sl:
one should be proud to be a musli girl.wearing hijaab is the onen only trait that a muslim girl or women possess.so i think u shud continue wearing hijaab n never be ashamed of it.
loving a person should be pure n shud not involve sinful things then it does no wrong to us.but make sure u dont go astray from the path of islam
hope u like my suggestion,i wud love to recieve a feedback from you
 
::sister:
uzzi said:
:sl:
one should be proud to be a muslim girl.wearing hijaab is the onen only trait that a muslim girl or women possess.so i think u shud continue wearing hijaab n never be ashamed of it.
loving a person should be pure n shud not involve sinful things then it does no wrong to us.but make sure u dont go astray from the path of islam
hope u like my suggestion,i would love to recieve a feedback from you.in future hoping that ull clear my doubts too.remember in duas allahhafiz
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:sl: ..i wear a jilbaab and to uni..but dont wear a niqaab coz of the fact that the uni works on the basis of ID cards..:? and i feel by wearin a niqaab..i'll be insulting it seeing as i'm studying in a mixed environment..and during the examz they require ur ID card be put on the table...
does any sister here wear a niqaab to school/college/uni?
sorry 4 goin off topic
 
salam
Qqouted by Sheikh Shuraim, Imam of Haram Of Makkah

Also, know my Muslim sister that to conceal your face and allow your eyebrows, cheekbone, and bridge of the nose to remain uncovered is clear error. Some women use this as a ploy to cover up their inadequate features. They will uncover what they like and cover what they dislike. If our woman folk exit their homes having beautified themselves, uncovering more that what they cover, perfumed, while using their eyes and movement to attract the attention of men, they are indeed calling to deviance and disorder.

Quoted by Sheikh Sudais, Imam of Haram Of Makkah

By Allah you will be praised, you will please your household and make your home happy, you will perfect your hijab, you will perfect your chastity, relieve others and you will make yourself happy and comfortable.
How many young women get trapped and how much tragedy happens when the hijab is destroyed and the jilbab (outer garment) is taken off and the `wolves` (wicked men) devour the women? Such is as a result of sufoor and mingling with men in jobs, schools, and market places.

wasalam
 
i still think the hijaab is not enough.. it doesnt make a girl less attractive.. guys look passed it.. therefore i think the niqaab should be complusory.
 
~Mischa~ said:
this is kinda off topic.. but i personally think the headscarf by itself is pointless.. as it doesnt prevent the opposite sex from lookin.. like i wear a hijaab to school but i still get approached by losers.. its so annoying.. i think the only way to ward off guys and pervy looks is by wearing the niqaab.. which i'm so totally gonna wear after i leave school, inshallah.
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As-Salaam Walikum- Sister Mischa Why can't you still wear it?:?
 
:sl:
I'm a revert and let me tell you, wearing hijab on my campus was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. At first I was so self-concious because hardly anyone else wore it. I felt a lot of people stared at me because I was white too. But everytime I had the urge to give in to the pressure, I just reminded myself that the more trouble I go through to gain favor with Allah, the greater the reward he will bestow upon me.

I left school and don't have to deal with this anymore, Alhamdullah. :sister:
 
~Mischa~ said:
this is kinda off topic.. but i personally think the headscarf by itself is pointless.. as it doesnt prevent the opposite sex from lookin.. like i wear a hijaab to school but i still get approached by losers.. its so annoying.. i think the only way to ward off guys and pervy looks is by wearing the niqaab.. which i'm so totally gonna wear after i leave school, inshallah.
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Asallama Alaikum my dear sister I'm kind of with you on that.Like you know how we wear the Jilbab and abaya,but despite that guys approach you even some gruesome kufaar:vomit:.That's why Insh'Allah Niqaab is the way for me.:happy: :happy:
 
Shukri said:
Asallama Alaikum my dear sister I'm kind of with you on that.Like you know how we wear the Jilbab and abaya,but despite that guys approach you even some gruesome kufaar:vomit:.That's why Insh'Allah Niqaab is the way for me.:happy: :happy:
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mashallah sis.. how long have u been wearing it for?

i weared it like the other day, just to see how it feels lol.. and, alhamdulilah - i loved it, i felt so liberated. i cant wait to start wearing it properly heh.
 

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