totally lonely

Marina-Aisha

Marina-Aisha

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salam everyone

Even through i have my hubbie for company i cant help feel lonely i dont have any friends non muslim or muslim...i get along people at work but they arent really islamic...and also going through hardship from Allah and i dont really have anyone to talk to....i sometimes go to the mosque in whitechapel but its kinda far and im super shy i havent made any friends...sometimes i just wanna cry and just stay bed never come out..i just wanna met nice muslima sister were i hangout go shopping together and talk stuff..
 
Wa alaykumsalam sister!

Don't worry! Sometimes it is better to be alone than to fit in with the wrong people! Trust me I know exactly what you mean. There are many things that I am interested in but unfortunately my best friends aren't interested in. I used to drag them to come along whenever there's a particular activity(e.g lectures etc) but nowadays I do most of the stuff on my own and alhamdulillah I have been making progress. When I meet my friends they'll ask me "have you been doing so and so?" and I say yes. Hehe.

What I'm saying is if you want to make some nice sister friends, go out there do an activity you enjoy where you might find some inshaAllah. I would recommend classes that would increase your knowledge in the deen, that way you learn and inshaAllah make some friends.

From what I can deduce, you seem to have a pretty good personality inside your shy little shell. No worries. Being shy is a GOOD thing. You just need to peel it a bit so that you can benefit more InshaAllah. Oh and I just remembered one way I met some wonderful muslim friends when I was in a place where I thought I was alone. During prayer time, I would find a spot to pray. They would also be looking for a spot to pray, so we are bound to meet each other and pray together. How awesome is that!

Do update us on how it's going! Step by step ok!
 
your story is kinda similar for many women out there, if you have patience then iA Allah will make a way for you

If there are Muslims in your street then you can try and invite them for iftar and see how that works out. or if you have kids then try talking to their friends parents.

I don't really recommend trying to make friends with people who you don't have alot in common with, of course we love our Muslim brothers and sisters, but for friendship sometimes we need people who we are close with in other ways aswell.

I think if you make dua to Allah that he grants you a good Muslim friend who will benefit you, then he will answer your dua.

I used to be such a loner in college, and it turns out the guy who used to sit a couple seats away from me was like this really friendly righteous brother and I had never talked to him. but now we are best friends alhumdulillah; and I think that's because of a dua that i made
 
this is a story i hope we might benefit from - it really shows the difference it makes having a righteouss friend


In old, worn out shabby looking clothes, Amir Al-Mu’minin, Ali Bin Abi Taleb, sat saying grace to Allah. Abu Mariam, one of the servants, sat on his knees close to Ali and whispered: “Amir Al-Mu’minin, I have something to ask of you.” Ali said: “What is it that you want to ask?”

Abu Mariam said: “That you throw away the clothes you are wearing. They are old and ripped and do not go well with your position.” Ali Bin Abi Taleb put the tip of his clothes on his eyes and started to cry until his weeping was loud. In embarrassment, Abu Mariam said: “O Amir Al-Mu’minin, if I knew that it meant so much to you I would not have asked you to take it off.” Ali said while wiping his tears: “O Abu Mariam, my love for this jacket is increasing. It was a gift from my friend and beloved companion.” Oddly, Abu Mariam asked: “And who is this friend of yours O Amir?” Ali said: “ ‘Umar Ibn Al Khattab. He was the best of friends.” He then started to weep once again until the sound of his suppressed cries could be heard from afar. Source:Translated from "100 Stories from the Life of Ali Bin Abi Taleb" by Muhammad Sedeeq Al Minshawi, Dar Al Fadeela Publishing, 2002.
 
Hulk said:
Wa alaykumsalam sister!

Don't worry! Sometimes it is better to be alone than to fit in with the wrong people! Trust me I know exactly what you mean. There are many things that I am interested in but unfortunately my best friends aren't interested in. I used to drag them to come along whenever there's a particular activity(e.g lectures etc) but nowadays I do most of the stuff on my own and alhamdulillah I have been making progress. When I meet my friends they'll ask me "have you been doing so and so?" and I say yes. Hehe.

What I'm saying is if you want to make some nice sister friends, go out there do an activity you enjoy where you might find some inshaAllah. I would recommend classes that would increase your knowledge in the deen, that way you learn and inshaAllah make some friends.

From what I can deduce, you seem to have a pretty good personality inside your shy little shell. No worries. Being shy is a GOOD thing. You just need to peel it a bit so that you can benefit more InshaAllah. Oh and I just remembered one way I met some wonderful muslim friends when I was in a place where I thought I was alone. During prayer time, I would find a spot to pray. They would also be looking for a spot to pray, so we are bound to meet each other and pray together. How awesome is that!

Do update us on how it's going! Step by step ok!
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yea i go to mosque for new muslims at whitechapel but i havent made any friends there, some of sisters who there have there own little groups that they hang out with so kinda hard making friends there.. i also sometimes go to the mosque in romford near were i work but i dont really have time to stay for jammat prayer so miss all the muslima sisters..i think ill just keep making duas..maybe Allah will hear my crys during Ramadan :)
 
Take comfort from the fact we all feel lonely at some point in our lives, its part and parcel of life.
 
marina-hadeya said:


yea i go to mosque for new muslims at whitechapel but i havent made any friends there, some of sisters who there have there own little groups that they hang out with so kinda hard making friends there.. i also sometimes go to the mosque in romford near were i work but i dont really have time to stay for jammat prayer so miss all the muslima sisters..i think ill just keep making duas..maybe Allah will hear my crys during Ramadan :)
Click to expand...

I don't think you'll find a lot of practising Muslims in Romford.

Attend events. Come to MRDF classes where you're likely to meet sisters whom you can keep in contact with. In fact, you should go to the Tayyibun Iftar gathering on the 29th of this month. Tayyibun events are usually very popular and you're sure to meet lots of people, especially as it's going to be at Iftar time.
 
'Abd-al Latif said:
I don't think you'll find a lot of practising Muslims in Romford.

Attend events. Come to MRDF classes where you're likely to meet sisters whom you can keep in contact with. In fact, you should go to the Tayyibun Iftar gathering on the 29th of this month. Tayyibun events are usually very popular and you're sure to meet lots of people, especially as it's going to be at Iftar time.
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where is this?is there a link u could give me?
 
:wasalamex

O fair sister of mine. Thou hast hardships. And trials galore.

It is indeed very difficult to form friendships when the sisters out there have already formed their little circle or whatnot! Personally, if I see lonesome figures of sisters outside, I start by saying my Salaam, then ask how they're doing, and so on and so forth and I have made a few acquaintances, who Subhan'Allaah are reverts, and they are super nice Masha'Allaah, plus Sisters out there can be quite scary... Truly. And intimidating too, let's not forget... :D

Just have a little courage inside you, determination and persistence that you are going to make friends of the Sisters out there!!! Lol... I'll be by your side... Metaphorically, if not physically, Insha'Allaah :D

:haha:

I live in West london, why don't we plan to meet up, Sister marina-hadeya??? Like somewhere in Central or middle point somewhere... Lol! It would be awesome to meet up
 
Qurratul Ayn said:
:wasalamex

O fair sister of mine. Thou hast hardships. And trials galore.

It is indeed very difficult to form friendships when the sisters out there have already formed their little circle or whatnot! Personally, if I see lonesome figures of sisters outside, I start by saying my Salaam, then ask how they're doing, and so on and so forth and I have made a few acquaintances, who Subhan'Allaah are reverts, and they are super nice Masha'Allaah, plus Sisters out there can be quite scary... Truly. And intimidating too, let's not forget... :D

Just have a little courage inside you, determination and persistence that you are going to make friends of the Sisters out there!!! Lol... I'll be by your side... Metaphorically, if not physically, Insha'Allaah :D

:haha:

I live in West london, why don't we plan to meet up, Sister marina-hadeya??? Like somewhere in Central or middle point somewhere... Lol! It would be awesome to meet up
Click to expand...


aww that would be awesome :p thanx

it just gets hard that u cant talk to people who r on the same level as you..like people at work say ive "changed" and there sad cos i use b so "passionate" but i am passionate just not bout the same things...they just dont understand...i just feel sick of people not understanding! * i should be more understanding i know*
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Salam

When I was not a Muslim, I dream big to have many friends, and I tried hard. In the end I left heartbroken, they all left me in pain after I work so hard to please them and be myself I guess, I was kind to them I never intended to hurt them and I was always there physically and emotionally most of the times.

Anyhow, now that I am a Muslim, I dont have the urge of needing people like that, I better be alone, do my thing, sleep early etc.

Alhamdollellah Allah bless me with a very good husband, he is my bestfriend and I have another friend left from that bunches, she is 66yrs old (mashallah with her looks and energy shes better than 40yrs old...) and I got my Karma, she never fight with me, she is kind and if I wanted to hang out, I always go to her.


Inshallah sis, you find one true Muslima friend, inshallah
 
wa alikom salam

thanx riana your of course right its just hard now....so much is happening in my life its kinda depressing at the mo...
 
I'm a happy hermit :)

No, seriously... I used to feel really lonely. But then I realised that even when I'm in the company of "friends" - I still felt displaced. I was growing apart. Inevitable.

So, after a nice long break away from London (I went to Dewsbury to sit with the ulema and learn from them) I discovered that my loneliness was due to lack of focus. I had no focus - I was just complacent in my life. So, I decided to "fix up" and find something that took my interest...

...that included reading, a lot of reading... and a little writing.

And though I still find myself staring at the wall sometimes, I quickly remind myself that I am prone to monging out like Siddharta - and stare at a spo on the wall - till it disappears (still no clarity there). Once I have snap out of my silly state of sorriness (is that even a word?), I find that I am restless and have to do something, anything. And that usually involves a run in wanstead flats or hollow ponds, after which - I'm feeling excellent.

I find that a little exercise can go a long way :)


Scimi
 
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thanx i think its because all i do is go to work and then look after the children i dont have time to do something just for me.. before i converted i use to go to hairdresses do my hair do my nails a feel alittle less lonely cos i had me time nw i dont do anything and most the time especially nw im on my own..nw the ramadan has started after my husband has finished his work he goes stright to the mosque..
 
marina-hadeya said:
thanx i think its because all i do is go to work and then look after the children i dont have time to do something just for me.. before i converted i use to go to hairdresses do my hair do my nails a feel alittle less lonely cos i had me time nw i dont do anything and most the time especially nw im on my own..nw the ramadan has started after my husband has finished his work he goes stright to the mosque..
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SIS YOU HAVE CHILDREN?! MashaAllah why not play with them??? Hehe..Someone I know who is also a muslim convert is a housewife and she really has her hands busy with her kids. Honestly sometimes I wonder what she does but I guess her day is filled with nurturing her kids in terms of studying and sometimes taking them out to eat etc.

I don't like to admit it but being an only child I do understand the feeling of being lonely. I remember when I was a kid I used to call up my friends all the time(recalling right after being told they're not in) till I pissed their dads off lol their mums were really patient.

Anywayyyyyy hehe.. if you enjoy pampering yourself why not do it? Like getting your hair done.. Just make sure everything is halal hehehehhe. In terms of nails im not sure what goes on so I can't say much. I just want you to know that you're not alone in feeling alone. Though I must say it's been a long time I felt that way alhamdulillah however lately I find that I quite enjoy the times that I am alone as it gives me a chance to do what I like for eg read, go out take photographs, etc.
 
marina-hadeya said:
thanx i think its because all i do is go to work and then look after the children i dont have time to do something just for me.. before i converted i use to go to hairdresses do my hair do my nails a feel alittle less lonely cos i had me time nw i dont do anything and most the time especially nw im on my own..nw the ramadan has started after my husband has finished his work he goes stright to the mosque..
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Why not hire a mobile hairdresser/beautician to come to your house and get yourself pampered a bit? An Indian head massage works wonders and get your tootsies treated too. You'll feel better for it and that could give you the incentive to do something else. :)
 
??
May I humbly suggest in lieu of hairdressers and manicurists to volunteer your free time in a hospital, old people's home or children centers for abused, neglected or handicap children or even to aid battered women?
Volunteering our time in the service of others is rewarding to the one that gives and the one that takes like the Shakespearean quote on the quality of mercy. I guarantee you'll not be bored or alone you will teach something to others and learn something about yourself .
I strongly believe that idle hands are the tool of the devil being bored or lonely just means there's free time not properly utilized. Volunteering is an excellent way to make true friends outside of work who arent obligated to dialogue for work related purposes or meet with other people who are also volunteering part of their time as a common ground for friendship. Having a husband, kids and a career is already a great blessing that many don't have the rest can be attained with a little vigilance .. In the smallest good deeds lies the greatest rewards in shaa Allah.
:w:
 
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