Trouble Moving On

[Thanaa]

My problem is that Im moving out soon. My parents expect me to travel 250 miles in my car by myself the week after next for any interviews that I can get by then, and it worries me-I think theyre being cruel since Ive only ever been on a Duel-Carriage way once, let alone a motorway, and Ive certainly never driven long-distance before!
I asked my Mum to come with me, since my Dads gone ahead to work in the area (she can stay inthe campervan with him, ill drive her about, then bring her back up so that my first motorway exp. is with someone else), but my Dad refuses. Not that he's here to force her-hes just pressurising her to make me do it by myself.
:scared:
That however is not such a problem compared to some other things I have to deal with...
All my mates (non-muslim), who I see every few months, well we're all moving on-Im friends with all of them, but some are going to uni-whereas Im planning to study a degree a home-and mostly dont know Im Muslim...
So, im basically moving back to an area where I have some very old friends, only to be possibly alienating many og them by converting to Islam-especially if I take up wearing niqab at any time in the future...imsad
Also, my parents dont know Im reverting to Islam (theyre why I dont pray-they've threatened me twice with homelessness, and they are not joking, so if they caught me, well, I may as well just die right then). So...thay mught actually disown me. :-\
Im a bit introverted so the chances of me meeting any new friends soon is slim.
Also, Im scared of looking for work minus hijab, and then having problems with my employer when I put it on later, and Im equally scared of wearing one to intervies and not finding work because they can tell Im muslim.
Im not stupid-I may have to go to Bristol instead of Taunton now, and there have been attacks on Muslim Women there after 9/11 and 7/7, so some people wouldnt employ me the moment they saw a headscarf. Im not particularly qualified at the mo, so its not like they couldnt make out that I didnt get the job cause Im stupid, rather than cause Im muslim.
Ive tried looking for Islamic companies to apply to, but I cant find any.
Its really depressing. Upsetting even.

 

[جوري]

oh dear sis.. I am sorry to hear of your problems and that you are so troubled.. I imagine no one has ventured into a reply, becase your situation is a bit difficult.. I am not going to give you advise on dress or your relationship with your parents as I think you should be the judge of that.. I do advise you to be a bit prudent when proceeding forward...
so I am going to ask you one thing though and that is the problem that is most pressing/important or upsetting to you? I think lumping a whole bunch of unhappy events/feelings/problems together can overwhelm you some what.. thus we should go about this systematically...
1- are you studying a degree at home instead of uni because you are now a convert? I am afraid I have missed something there? I think it would be an exquisite idea for you to study at uni instead of home at least therein lies an opportunity for you to meet Muslim sisters and find an 'MSA'.. here in the U.S that is called a Muslim student association.. there is so much support and help in the company of other Muslims, I don't think it is wise to isolate yourself because you are reverting... be happy with your choice by not alienating yourself but by finding friends and a support system...
2- shyness is a wonderful trait in a Muslim woman, but believe you me, it isn't a deterrent from finding a nice sister to be your friend.. I should ask, do you consider me a friend? I don't know you that well, yet I have great care and concern for you, I can tell off the bat, you are a sweet and sensitive lady--I think I'd be even more charmed if I met you in person... so what makes you think some Muslim sister wouldn't be honored with your friendship?
3- Your parents don't need to know you are Muslim... a Muslim is above all wise... did you know that the Son of Omar ibn Ilkhtab RA for instance had reverted before his father and kept it a secret because Omar RA had such a temper, and his son was afraid of his wrath.. when Omar RA converted he used to always badger his son about it... 'how could you convert and seek heaven and keep it a secret from me' he would tell his son...
4- once you seek the education you deserve and need, you'll find many wonderful job opportunities insha'Allah.. You can teach at a school for Muslim children, you could be a pharmacist, lots of great jobs for women out there, where they won't be able to discriminate because your expertise will be needed insha'Allah.. meanwhile if you are looking to work while at attending uni.. how about a part time job in customer service or something of that nature just to develop some autonomy? Then you won't be so threatened whether your parents wish to keep a relationship with you or warn you of being disowned-- most parents come around anyway.. I am sure they are just a bit scared and confused..
Have courage dear sis.. hold your head up high, be proud you are a Muslimah, and cease all the opportunities granted you.. you will not walk alone... Allah shall accompany you so don't be afraid...

 

[glo]

Greeting Thanaa

I agree with Ambrosia that it may not be a bad idea for you to move away from home.
It seems to me like you are a young woman who is finding her own identity - but having trouble showing herself to the outside world.
It seems that you are put under much pressure at home, and I sense that you fear your parents (or at least your father)

Sometime we just need to take a step of faith and push through our fear and worries and doubts.

I used to be a painfully shy person. I still am in many ways, and I will never be a loud person who likes to push her views on others.
When I was your age I left home and came to England for a year.
That was a BIG step for me. The great unknown, so many ifs and buts ... and yet, I did it!
I did so much growing during that year.
I came back a different person.
And - most importantly - I came back knowing who I was, and confident enough to tell others so!

Thanaa, you are a wonderful person.
God has made you for a purpose, and he will reveal it to you in time.
God loves you and you are precious to him.
Believe it!

Psalm 139 says this:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

These are exciting time for you.
There may be reasons why you cannot move away from home at the moment. But this is still a time for you to discover yourself and grow.

I pray that God will strengthen you, that he will guide you and give you the courage to be who he wants you to be. I pray for peace and harmony between you and your parents, and between you and your old friends. I pray that God will fill you with his presence, and that you will have no fear.

You may not find this relevant as you are a Muslim, but this is Jesus' teaching. He told his disciples not to worry about what to say when they were faced with persecution or arrest on account of their beliefs. He assured then that God's spirit would be with them and prompt them what to say.
May that happen to you, Thanaa. May you be full of the assurance of God's presence and guidance in your life.

May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your heart and your mind.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[S@K!N@H]

salam my dear sister!!!

it sadens me a great deal to hear u in trouble.
sister do believe in the power of Allah and is Wisdom?
then u should find comfort in His choices for u in life bcoz then u will know that every little thing that has or will happen to u has already been written!!!
so sister there is no need for u to fear ur parents and what they will do to u, as u have Allah on ur side. what Allah has given u none can stop u getting and what Allah take from u none has the powr to give u without the His Will.
Please sister dont fear wearing the hijab bcoz u fear what will happen to u in this life but instead fear what will happen to u in the next life if u dnt wear it now... hijab is beautiful and it is commanded by Allah in His Great Wisdom.

sister u should really think about going to uni bcoz that is a great way of meeting muslims who will help u in striving to be a better Muslim. i live in london and i started practising Islam by going to uni. the islamic societies are bigi almost every uni in the UK and they give great support!!!

i pray that Allah to makes u strong and gives u great Iman (faith) in Him!!!

keep making du'a bcoz Allah hears all ur calls...and inshallah He answer u, if u have hope in Him.

W.S

 

[Thanaa]

oh dear sis.. I am sorry to hear of your problems and that you are so troubled.. I imagine no one has ventured into a reply, becase your situation is a bit difficult.. I am not going to give you advise on dress or your relationship with your parents as I think you should be the judge of that.. I do advise you to be a bit prudent when proceeding forward...
so I am going to ask you one thing though and that is the problem that is most pressing/important or upsetting to you? I think lumping a whole bunch of unhappy events/feelings/problems together can overwhelm you some what.. thus we should go about this systematically...
1- are you studying a degree at home instead of uni because you are now a convert? I am afraid I have missed something there? I think it would be an exquisite idea for you to study at uni instead of home at least therein lies an opportunity for you to meet Muslim sisters and find an 'MSA'.. here in the U.S that is called a Muslim student association.. there is so much support and help in the company of other Muslims, I don't think it is wise to isolate yourself because you are reverting... be happy with your choice by not alienating yourself but by finding friends and a support system...
2- shyness is a wonderful trait in a Muslim woman, but believe you me, it isn't a deterrent from finding a nice sister to be your friend.. I should ask, do you consider me a friend? I don't know you that well, yet I have great care and concern for you, I can tell off the bat, you are a sweet and sensitive lady--I think I'd be even more charmed if I met you in person... so what makes you think some Muslim sister wouldn't be honored with your friendship?
3- Your parents don't need to know you are Muslim... a Muslim is above all wise... did you know that the Son of Omar ibn Ilkhtab RA for instance had reverted before his father and kept it a secret because Omar RA had such a temper, and his son was afraid of his wrath.. when Omar RA converted he used to always badger his son about it... 'how could you convert and seek heaven and keep it a secret from me' he would tell his son...
4- once you seek the education you deserve and need, you'll find many wonderful job opportunities insha'Allah.. You can teach at a school for Muslim children, you could be a pharmacist, lots of great jobs for women out there, where they won't be able to discriminate because your expertise will be needed insha'Allah.. meanwhile if you are looking to work while at attending uni.. how about a part time job in customer service or something of that nature just to develop some autonomy? Then you won't be so threatened whether your parents wish to keep a relationship with you or warn you of being disowned-- most parents come around anyway.. I am sure they are just a bit scared and confused..
Have courage dear sis.. hold your head up high, be proud you are a Muslimah, and cease all the opportunities granted you.. you will not walk alone... Allah shall accompany you so don't be afraid...

okay...I think Id be better off answering all those questions by number!
1.) Im going to study at home because I made a mess of college a while back, and unless I go back to college, or study A-levels from home then I cant go...So, the Open University will give me a chance to just get on and do a legitimate, recognised degree right now, starting with simple things, and working my way up to 60 point courses. :coolious: Theyre pretty cool. I guess Uni would help me to meet people though...
2.) I guess I consider you a friend...Ive got to admit I never thought about it in depth, lol! I have this habit of just accepting people as a friend when I meet (or chat to them in anyway) them, so long as I like them. Unfortunately, not everyone is so open about being friends with others just because they think theyre okay, so Im never sure where I stand with people...unless theyre as close to me as the people I went to school with, i.e. my current friends.
3.) I guess it could work...although I want to begin to pray, and regularly, but up til now, havnt really because Im worried about waking my parents up during the night, and because people just walk into my room during the day without knocking (even though Ive asked them not to!)... Me + Headscarf/Prayer Dress + Kneeling on the floor + Being seen = Baaaad. Well, not bad because its prayer-bad because I dont want to be possibly made homeless just yet...
4.) I know I was trying to do a free online computing qualification before I moved, so that Id have recent skills to show to employers (as well as being able to tell them that I want to start a degree), but the company/organisation doesnt cover Wales. :laugh: I have to do it when im in England...
Its weird really...I prayed the other night, and asked Allah to make things easy for me-within days, nearly all the jobs in the area had gone, even when they had long CV acceptance dates, and almost the only place for me to go now is towards Bristol, where Ive found that many of the jobs give training, so that (hopefully) It doesnt matter if my computing skills are recently attained, and where there is (apparently) a large community of Muslims, with Mosques, and various other Islamic things. Its just...odd...how fast it happened. So Im convinced that Allah is still with me on this.