Troubled Friend.....

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buddy1

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Salam

My best friend from childhood has lost his way, he is muslim and im christian and im finding it very hard to advise him in a way to help him get back on track.

he has commited crime, he has been arrested and now being held on remand in prison. he lost his dad 7 years ago and blames his behaivour on the fact if his dad was here he wouldnt be the way he is. you and i both know he has no excuse for his actions but this is his excuse.

I have been to see him last week, and im going to see him again on sunday, but in a recent letter i received from him he states he is losing it, he doesnt know what to do any more, he thinks he is going to lose the plot. he is so depressed about what he has done and where he is, im genuinely in fear of his sanity and well being, i am so worried for him.

he is my friend and no matter what he does, i will stick by him, he is like my bother. but i just dont know what words i can say to him to make him realise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and he can turn a new leaf, and he can become a good person again. I just dont know what i can say to make him realise that.

i know everything he has done goes against everything in islam, but i know he can sort himself out, and change, i just dont know how to encourage him. when he is with my children, he is like a second father to them, telling them what is right and what is wrong, but he cant seem to "practise what he preaches".

please someone advise me.

peace.
 
Hi, I'm just curious what he has done that is so bad. I think you should tell him to pray to Allah (swt) and ask forgiveness. I really don't know anything else tosay, it's kind of complicated. May Allah (swt) have mercy on him and guide him.
 
Tell your friend about this Hadith Qudsi:

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say: Allah the Almighty said:

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.


linus

Let us invite people to Islam - http://linuses.blogspot.com
 
AlHoda said:
Hi, I'm just curious what he has done that is so bad. I think you should tell him to pray to Allah (swt) and ask forgiveness. I really don't know anything else tosay, it's kind of complicated. May Allah (swt) have mercy on him and guide him.
Click to expand...

:sl: i am interested to know also what crimes he has done because no offense but i would never allow a person with a history of crime around my kids funny people in the world.. you think you know someone buddy but you might not know them at all
 
Peace be on you buddy1.

In addition to what LINUSES said, tell your friend that hope is the key for him to get back to normal life. Ask him to repent. I donot know what crime he has comitted but as if now, he has to undergo trail and other stuff. We pray Allah to bring ease for him.

Do not let him leave the hope.

God bless you.
 
Hi there,
I am not interested in knowing what he did and nor he should tell anyone.
Tell him to do this small excercise as many times as he finds ok. Do it specially when he is most depressed and troubled.
Make fresh wudu and sit in calm and quiet place. Inhale and exhale deep breaths as long as he feels like it. When inhaling, focus that Allah's blessings are all around, plentiful and in bounties never to end. As you inhale, acknowledge in your heart that you are allowed to inhale that means that He still allows you. So inhale all the goodness, all the rahma, blessings, and love as He showers on all of His creations. When exhaling, focus that you are exhaling all that is evil and bad out of your heart, your body and your system. It would kind of cleanse you.When you feel thankfull enough and focused enough put forth your head in prostration and say loud enough that you can listen to it " O Lord you are but the perfact, whatever you do is but justified and right. All praise is to You. And I am the one who is always at fault, knowingly or unknowingly I commit wrongs, and make mistakes. Tell him to ask for forgiveness after that. There is a verse for that called Ayat-e-Karima. I am sure he knows that. Tell him to read that as much as possible. Once he repents and really seek refuge, he will find ways to make changes in life and turn his way aroud.
 
i have not posted the verse from Quran as i thought he would know it. If he doesn't let me know and I will post.
He can also visit the pg
www.divinesystemrestoration.com
 
he got mixed up with a group of lads who were stealing cars, he got caught with a set of car keys which didnt belong to him. if i thought he was going to distract my children, he wouldnt be let within 10 feet of them but the fact he is a good bloke, he is just a bit troubled atm, when he is around me and my children he is a COMPLETELY different person, the person i have always known, he can be himself around us, its when he isnt with us im concerned about.
 
buddy1 said:
Salam

My best friend from childhood has lost his way, he is muslim and im christian and im finding it very hard to advise him in a way to help him get back on track.

he has commited crime, he has been arrested and now being held on remand in prison. he lost his dad 7 years ago and blames his behaivour on the fact if his dad was here he wouldnt be the way he is. you and i both know he has no excuse for his actions but this is his excuse.

I have been to see him last week, and im going to see him again on sunday, but in a recent letter i received from him he states he is losing it, he doesnt know what to do any more, he thinks he is going to lose the plot. he is so depressed about what he has done and where he is, im genuinely in fear of his sanity and well being, i am so worried for him.

he is my friend and no matter what he does, i will stick by him, he is like my bother. but i just dont know what words i can say to him to make him realise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and he can turn a new leaf, and he can become a good person again. I just dont know what i can say to make him realise that.

i know everything he has done goes against everything in islam, but i know he can sort himself out, and change, i just dont know how to encourage him. when he is with my children, he is like a second father to them, telling them what is right and what is wrong, but he cant seem to "practise what he preaches".

please someone advise me.

peace.
Click to expand...

buddy1 said:
he got mixed up with a group of lads who were stealing cars, he got caught with a set of car keys which didnt belong to him. if i thought he was going to distract my children, he wouldnt be let within 10 feet of them but the fact he is a good bloke, he is just a bit troubled atm, when he is around me and my children he is a COMPLETELY different person, the person i have always known, he can be himself around us, its when he isnt with us im concerned about.
Click to expand...

Hello my friend and thank you for sharing your concerns with us of your friend.

We should realise that we can do and say what we want to a person but ONLY Allah can guide someone we can only inform them and help them the best we can.

It seems like he has got a good heart but that he is stuck in this lifestyle maybe to block out reality and problems that he has or is encountering.

Death is always the best way of reminding someone of reality and our purpose and is always a good wake up call.

You should remind him that what would his father think of him if he were alive today?

You should also encourage him to visit his fathers grave at least once a week on Fridays. This would be a good reminder to him for him to remember that he is only here for a short while and that he will return to Allah.

Death is the destroyer of all pleasures and he should be reminded of it as much as possible so i have taken the liberty of providing some links for you to forward to him so that he can listen to these clips and take in the reality that we will ALL face sooner or later.

Show them these short video clips as they are VERY effective:

Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Shaykh Riyadh ul Haq

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

The Spectacle of Death - Tawfique Chowdhury

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOyDaiDHkIM
 

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