ugliness

[havoka]

i know a guy whoz depressed about his ugliness

he has to turn sideways
but he has a deformed nose
cut lip and uneven eyes
whats your view on him?
and he knows am on this about him
becuase it was under his request

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

our view on him?...

he shouldnt be depressed about it...

the only thing which might be depressing him is thinking theres nothing more to this life, his not gonna turn to ashes.

this life isnt all there is, this bro needs to realise that.

Good muslim bros will never turn away from him, may Allah grant him sabr..

 

[nebula]

salaamalakum bro,

my face is also extremely uneven. it looks very bent my nose, lip and eyes all look like they're being streched towards a direction. I used to be very depressed about it as i didnt like taking pictures id always look so ugly it was embarresing, i couldnt talk to people without them stairing at my face, i knew they were thinking about my face etc.

But now i try my best not to think about it, i think about the good things about me, like i can make ppl laugh, good at giving advice. Basically what im saying is i think my uglyness has made me humble alhumdulilah.

So bro dont worry about it yeah? Allah made everyone and he is the best creator. Im sure he has the best of plans.

Focus on the good things about yourself, improve your personalitiy, make urself humble, and inshallah bro everyone will be humble to you.

 

[Snowflake]

Do you as his friend agree that he is ugly? Have you tried to build his confidence. Sometimes, people will make negative remarks about themselves with hope of assurance. If it isnt given it makes them think they were right all along.

I also don't think anyone should blatantly say that he shouldnt be depressed. It's natural to feel sensitive about something we dislike about physical appearence, but especially so, when it concerns the face.

The Prophet (saw) said, that even animals have pride in their looks and forbid the cutting tails and manes of horses, of branding animals at any soft spot (mainly face) and of keeping horses saddled unnecessarily. (Muslim, Sahih Muslim)

I don't exactly know what you mean by uneven eyes, but if you mean one eye is smaller than the other then there could be a physical cause for it, i.e. an old injury (one of many causes). So your friend should see his optician first. Likewise, if the nose is crooked due to being broken, that could be fixed. Although, I dont see that as a deformity and neither should he. Cut lip? Honestly, I don't think that looks ugly. If he is sure there are no physical causes then it could be that the small imperfections are just magnified in his mind - a condition known as body dysmorphic disorder.

I feel you can help your friend by either reassuring him and helping him to build confidence in himself if you know that he is not ugly like he thinks. Or, you can point out what I did and let him decide which applies to him and take it from there.

Also, please tell the brother that women go for status, intelligence and security rather than something that will fade in time anyway. So, if his worry stems from thinking that no one will want to marry him, he could throw that thought right out the window this very minute. Most women prefer rugged looks anyway.

I'd like to end my post by saying that lots of people aren't happy about something or another about themselves. But if it's any consolation, we will be beautiful in Jannah inshaAllah. The hard part is getting there. : )

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

i know a guy whoz depressed about his ugliness

he has to turn sideways
but he has a deformed nose
cut lip and uneven eyes
whats your view on him?
and he knows am on this about him
becuase it was under his request

Encourage that guy by telling him that what really matters is how Allah Taa'ala sees him and not how he appears to be in sight of the people of this world. Also encourage him by telling him that when he appears to be ugly to the people of this world which makes his depressed, that is the time for him to make his prayers accepted by Allah Taa'ala coz that is time when Allah Taa'ala turns to him coz of his sloppy emotions. I'm sure that such are the people who are put to test by Allah Taa'ala coz Allah Taa'ala loves them very much and He wants to reward them on the Day of Judgment. He may be facing problems in this life but the Day of Judgment isn't much far when Allah Taa'ala will reward him with the immense reward for getting depressed coz he appeared to be ugly to the people. I dunno what else I can say.

 

[havoka]

ok thanks
i reassured him and i read the link about the person with exema and i sent him the link since then he has not talked about his looks
so thank you brothers and sisters for you help
also to the fact i wanted to point out
a few month ago this guy(the same person) got chucked out of the house, his family is dead for him and he is dead for them for undisclosed reasons then everybody abandoned him and left the guy alone since then he is still in a suicidal mood and he became an atheist(eating haraam, drinking sharaab etc)
what i want to know is what should i do to bring him back to the islam track and make him belive in allah again

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

^
to get him back on track just tell him, that your aakhirah is not worth suffering for people who mistreat you (I,e in this case, his family)…I mean if that person disliked you so much, why on earth would you fall into despair because of them. It really makes no sense…illogical, is it not?
Also you cannot make him believe in Allah, you can just preach to him….Allah is the only one who guides the hearts…make dua for him, ask allah to guide him….
Also Remind him of Allah punishments and rewards, inshallah…

 

[seeker-of-light]

real beauty comes from within, not from society's narrow minded view of what is beautiful and what is not.

 

[Zahida]

Beauty is within the eyes of the beholder.................It's whats on the inside that matters not the outside.................. I know people with looks but no personalities.............. What matters most is the kind of person you are................

 

[Tony]

If you are meant to have something it would already be yours, If you got bad breath its bad, if its from fasting then it is the favorite smell of Allah. If your ugly be ugly with the face of God smilling upon you. Brother, all our flesh is worm food eventually. Peace

 

[glo]

ok thanks
i reassured him and i read the link about the person with exema and i sent him the link since then he has not talked about his looks
so thank you brothers and sisters for you help
also to the fact i wanted to point out
a few month ago this guy(the same person) got chucked out of the house, his family is dead for him and he is dead for them for undisclosed reasons then everybody abandoned him and left the guy alone since then he is still in a suicidal mood and he became an atheist(eating haraam, drinking sharaab etc)
what i want to know is what should i do to bring him back to the islam track and make him belive in allah again

I think all you can do is be a friend, be there for him and support him (which doesn't mean you have to support him in his wrong behaviours), let him know you care, and most of all - PRAY for him!

You can't make him believe in God or convert to anything ... but God can.

With God all things are possible. :statisfie

 

[Ali.]

what i want to know is what should i do to bring him back to the islam track and make him belive in allah again

I agree with Ramlah here:

to get him back on track just tell him, that your aakhirah is not worth suffering for people who mistreat you

Also, havoka bro', keep us updated on how you're getting along with him!

 

[Snowflake]

^well said Glo!

he became an atheist(eating haraam, drinking sharaab etc)

Unless he has said that he believes there is no God, eating haram foods doesn't make him an atheist brother. Keep praying for him inshaAllah. May Allah have mercy on us all. Ameen.