unwed mother

  • Thread starter Thread starter pipay
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Thanks to all of you for all the support and advices you had shared with me. I will try my best to recover from all these things as soon as I can.

God bless us all!!!:sunny:
 
hi everybody. i'm still here in dubai and still arranging my leave. hopefully my flight will be on july 10. keep in touch everybody. thanks for all your support..
 
I hope you have a very safe flight.. did your doctor give you clearance for such a trip?.. I believe I read somewhere that you are seven month or so? try to take it easy pls.. purchase some graduated compression socks
compression-stocking.jpg
and try to walk often during flight.. I fear for your health cutting it too close.. I feel it might be better for you to wait until the baby is born before you travel.. what do you think?

today I upset my four year old niece and she looked at me with quivering lips before she softly wept (because she has too much pride to weep loudly) and it is just killing me to think about.. but isn't it amazing how their personalities are so developed from such a young age?.. I just know how much you'll fall in love with your baby once you see him/her if not already so..
I wish you luck pipay.. though you might not appreciate it, you are quite a lucky woman.. it is an amazing thing indeed to bring life into the world and know that you are unconditionally loved as you love for no special reason..
 
Thanks gossamer.. my friends were also asking me to deliver here but i feel that, as long as i'm in dubai, stress and worries would be there. especially that his father (my baby's father) is still calling me from time to time. I just want to give ourselves a break. I don't know if you will call me selfish, but for now, I don't want to give him any right with my baby. I'm not yet ready. I didn't even tell him whether I'm carrying a boy or a girl. In some unavoidable circumstances (since our offices are just in the same building), he told me to bring up the baby as a muslim and never harrass or bit him. I told him straight... "How can I make him a muslim if I am a Christian? I don't know Islam deeply. He needs somebody who is a muslim. And from where you got the courage to tell me such things? You yourself is irresponsible. Of course I will not bit my child because I know how to be a parent and I know how to love. Don't you ever tell me what to do with my baby because you are not a reliable person to listen to. JUST SHUT UP!!".
 
Peace with you;

I have read this discussion many times and wish the best luck to you and your baby.

What I want to say; don´t care about demands of that man; it is Allah who decides if your baby will at some day finds Islam or not. I believe you will be a good and caring mom to him/her. This is the most important.

your sister Harb
 
Salaam/Peace

pipay said:
...he told me to bring up the baby as a muslim
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I can't beleive it . How dare he is to told u so . Tell him that he will be responsible if you & the baby start hating all Muslims & and he will be responsible on the Day of Judgment because of his shameless sinful act.
 
Muslim Woman said:
How dare he is to told u so .
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Yes!! How dare him!! And how he can expect me to do so? I am not a muslim and I never practiced being a muslim! And he thinks that I will listen to him? duh!!! :enough!: Then what's next? He wants to see my baby?!!! Ok fine.. go to my country to see my baby.... I will never show him even the pictures and shadow of my baby!!! SO STUPID GUY!!
 
pipay said:
Thanks gossamer.. my friends were also asking me to deliver here but i feel that, as long as i'm in dubai, stress and worries would be there. especially that his father (my baby's father) is still calling me from time to time. I just want to give ourselves a break. I don't know if you will call me selfish, but for now, I don't want to give him any right with my baby. I'm not yet ready. I didn't even tell him whether I'm carrying a boy or a girl. In some unavoidable circumstances (since our offices are just in the same building), he told me to bring up the baby as a muslim and never harrass or bit him. I told him straight... "How can I make him a muslim if I am a Christian? I don't know Islam deeply. He needs somebody who is a muslim. And from where you got the courage to tell me such things? You yourself is irresponsible. Of course I will not bit my child because I know how to be a parent and I know how to love. Don't you ever tell me what to do with my baby because you are not a reliable person to listen to. JUST SHUT UP!!".
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I don't know how your putting up with him. I'd be out of my MIND! LOL! Sheesh! I'm not you nor am I there but I'm getting soo annoyed. Bah :/
 
If you cannot beat your enemy, join them!! hehehe. He's getting crazier all the time. Can u imagine, one time he held me facing to him, asking me if I am proposing a marriage to him. I asked why. He said nothing. Then he repeated after a while, if I am proposing marriage to him and if I want to get married with him even secretly. I asked him what's wrong. He kept quiet. I want to laugh and get angry at the same time. What does he want now? What he's thinking now? Did he realized that I can live without him? That I am not bothered even if he leaves me and my baby? Or shall I say: HAHAHAHA!!! LOSER!!!
 
pipay said:
thanks to everybody who has given their advices, it's really a big help.
yesterday, i met him. he is really not willing to take the responsibility.he told me that he really love me but not to the point of having a baby. but i don't have any plans of aborting the baby. what i need is just a financial support! but how?
he told me that in their culture, once his family came to know about the baby, they will never forgive him. how true is it especially in pakistanis? and why? i believe that your family would still be your family forever and they will not throw you out that easily, instead, they must give you proper advices and support you, right?
and if i'm a christian, how can i raise my baby to be a muslim? i don't know that much about it.
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Seriously, move on. If he's Asian, especially Pakistani, thats it. He's playing you.
 
^thats definite he is playing around,but you cant label all the pakistanis or asians to be like that man,please dont discriminate among nationalities and ethinicities on the basis of indiviuals.people belonging to pakistan or asia here might be be hurt or offended by this,and they will certainly not like that...
 
pipay said:
If you cannot beat your enemy, join them!! hehehe. He's getting crazier all the time. Can u imagine, one time he held me facing to him, asking me if I am proposing a marriage to him. I asked why. He said nothing. Then he repeated after a while, if I am proposing marriage to him and if I want to get married with him even secretly. I asked him what's wrong. He kept quiet. I want to laugh and get angry at the same time. What does he want now? What he's thinking now? Did he realized that I can live without him? That I am not bothered even if he leaves me and my baby? Or shall I say: HAHAHAHA!!! LOSER!!!
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:enough!: oh lord! oh lord!! he is so annoying!! he is try to playing a game with you, stay away from him.
 
Muslim Woman said:
Salaam/Peace ;
Don't know but u must not allow him to come to you anymore -- unless u still love & wants to marry him.
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i will not lie to you.. i still love him but he's annoying me.. do you think he's still worth to be loved and be married and to be given a second chance after all what happened? i know myself. even though i still love a person but if he's not giving me the proper treatment i deserve, then, definitely i know how to stop even if it hurts me.. but through muslim woman, something came up in my mind.. does he deserve to be given a second chance at least for the sake of our baby? can somebody gaive their opinions regarding this. and how would i know, as i am a christian, whether the marriage he is proposing is real? whether the ceremony is real and valid? i read in some topics in this forum that two person can be married IN A HOUSE with just two witnesses. and about the agreement or marriage contract, who will prepare the document? in case we want to have some other arrangements, who will write in the agreement?
 
I cant believe you're thinking baout it :D

I mean, seriosuly, hasn't he hurt you enough ?

I would have shot the guy:p, gone to jail and payed for it with my life, but wouldnt have put up with him!!:P
 
Sorry Hopeful, though it may really sound like that. But I'm just curious now about the islamic marriage, not to him. and even there's one side of me that wants to marry him, still the other side is shouting not to marry him. I know i will not marry him coz i already think of all possibilities that might happen when we live together. it will definitely be miserable and i don't want to tie myself in that kind of situation.
 
pipay said:
I have a friend, she's an unwed christian. She got pregnant by a muslim boyfriend. Her boyfriend wants the baby to be aborted, is it haraam? Should the baby be a muslim or a christian? Can somebody give advice to my friend?
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Muslim Boy had sex without marriage = Haraam
Muslim Boy asked a person to abort the baby = Double Haraam

In case, if the baby is born, he's illegitimate.. which means the Muslim guy has no legal duty or responsibility to that baby... so... he cant make the baby become Muslim as he has no legal relationship to that baby. Which means, if the baby is a girl... in the future the Muslim guy can marry her too...
 
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