URGENT HELP!!!! I'm in the process of converting but.....

[andgar]

Assalamu alaikum

I'm the process of converting (I'm agnostic raised Catholic), I started reading articles and watching videos on Islam before reading the Qu'ran. I just started reading the Qu'ran a few nights ago, when it hit me....

As a convert, that means my family and friends are non Muslims. According to the Qu'ran they are 'non believers' or infidels. So if I convert, this would mean that I'd believe they would go to hell for being non believers:

But those who disbelieve and belie Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) such are the dwellers of the Fire, they shall abide therein forever.

Verily, We have sent you (O Muhammad Peace be upon him ) with the truth (Islam), a bringer of glad tidings (for those who believe in what you brought, that they will enter Paradise) and a warner (for those who disbelieve in what you brought, they will enter the Hell-fire). And you will not be asked about the dwellers of the blazing Fire.

Am I misinterpreting something?

Does the Qu'ran address this?

Question for any converts....... do you feel that your family and friends will go to hell?

Please somebody help me, I hope that I'm misreading something.

Thank you

 

[andgar]

Assalamu alaikum

I'm the process of converting (I'm agnostic raised Catholic), I started reading articles and watching videos on Islam before reading the Qu'ran. I just started reading the Qu'ran a few nights ago, when it hit me....

As a convert, that means my family and friends are non Muslims. According to the Qu'ran they are 'non believers' or infidels. So if I convert, this would mean that I'd believe they would go to hell for being non believers:





Am I misinterpreting something?

Does the Qu'ran address this?

Question for any converts....... do you feel that your family and friends will go to hell?

Please somebody help me, I hope that I'm misreading something.

Thank you

I've been searching for clear answer all over the net. The more I read the more discouraged I become.

I came across this:

It was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that his parents are in Hell. Muslim (203) narrated that a man said: “O Messenger of Allaah, where is my father?’ He said: “In Hell.” When the man turned away, he called him back and said: “My father and your father are in Hell.”

With regard to his mother he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I asked my Lord for permission to pray for forgiveness for my mother, and He did not give me permission. I asked him for permission to visit her grave, and He gave me permission.” Narrated by Muslim, 976.

I hoped that it was taken out of context, but it wasn't.

I then received this reply:

In those hadiths (available in Muslim which is considered with Al-Bukhari as the most perfect hadith book), the prophet is asked about his parents. He said that his father was going to hell.

The prophet asked god to pray for his mother soul, but Allah refused that and let him instead visiting his grave, and let him know that she'll burn in hell.

Both his parents weren't believers (his father died before his birth, his mother when he was younger than 6), and despite his position as god's messenger, he couldn't do a thing.

After that, this was sent to him : "Neither the prophet, nor those who believe shall ask forgiveness for the idol worshipers, even if they were their nearest of kin, once they realize that they are destined for Hell." [9:113].

Islam says that everybody who heard about this religion and didn't believe Allah and his messenger is destined to hell.

Just when I thought I was making huge strides in converting, I come across this heartbreaking information.

Is this true?

I beg for help! I beg for clarification... please!

 

[UmmSqueakster]

Welcome to the forum and (hopefully) to Islam.

This has been a huge struggle for me as a convert as well. 3 of my 4 grandparents and an uncle have passed away since I've converted, so it's really hit home.

However, I accepted Islam not because I knew every single thing about the religion and agreed with it. Rather, I was convinced that God had sent His message to Muhammad (saws), and that I should submit as such:

O you who believe, obey Allah, the Messenger, and those in command among you. If you disagree about something, refer it back to Allah and the Messenger, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best thing to do and gives the best result. (Surat an-Nisa': 59)

The earliest muslims accepted Islam with only the message of tawheed, the oneness of Allah (swt) being preached. They didn't wait 23 years to see what it was all about and then accept it based on whether or not their nafs (egos) liked it or not.

So in the end yes, if someone has been given the message of Islam and they reject it, they go to hell. The Prophet's (saws) beloved uncle Abu Talib was a great protecter of the Prophet (saws) through much of his mission, but because he died without la ilaha il Allah, he would not be in jannah.

Although it seems unfair, it has helped me to look at the world in terms of who has the greatest right. Allah (swt) created this world, gave us our lives, gave us everything. It is the highest level of ingratitude and sin to ignore Him and His religion. While it is sad for us who have non muslim relatives, we can do our best to provide a good example and make a lot of dua that they will become muslims inshaAllah.

 

[andgar]

Welcome to the forum and (hopefully) to Islam.

This has been a huge struggle for me as a convert as well. 3 of my 4 grandparents and an uncle have passed away since I've converted, so it's really hit home.

However, I accepted Islam not because I knew every single thing about the religion and agreed with it. Rather, I was convinced that God had sent His message to Muhammad (saws), and that I should submit as such:



The earliest muslims accepted Islam with only the message of tawheed, the oneness of Allah (swt) being preached. They didn't wait 23 years to see what it was all about and then accept it based on whether or not their nafs (egos) liked it or not.

So in the end yes, if someone has been given the message of Islam and they reject it, they go to hell. The Prophet's (saws) beloved uncle Abu Talib was a great protecter of the Prophet (saws) through much of his mission, but because he died without la ilaha il Allah, he would not be in jannah.

Although it seems unfair, it has helped me to look at the world in terms of who has the greatest right. Allah (swt) created this world, gave us our lives, gave us everything. It is the highest level of ingratitude and sin to ignore Him and His religion. While it is sad for us who have non muslim relatives, we can do our best to provide a good example and make a lot of dua that they will become muslims inshaAllah.

Thank you for your reply.

So you're confirming that if my family ( a large family) and friends don't convert, they will all go to hell? even if they have led good lives?

Even if they don't have a strong opinion either negatively or positively on Islam, they are going to hell?

Also, the Qu'ran teaches that one should accept the Qu'ran in its entirety and not question it (paraphrasing... I'm new to this, so excuse me) otherwise they will not be a true Muslim, which means they will also go to hell.

Am I misreading something here?

Please correct me if I'm wrong.... thank you.

 

[UmmSqueakster]

It's not for us to say person x y or z is going to hell. We can say in general, this type of person is going to go to hell, and this type of person is going to heaven, but in the end, only Allah (swt) knows.

I used to be a universalist (ie believing that everyone will get to heaven eventually), so it was hard for me to wrap my head around the concept of a permenant hell. The way I think about it is this. Allah (swt) is everything. He is the path, and every other path is wrong. If you're running a marathon, you need to run it on the path that the race organizers laid out. You could run it in 2:03:58, beating the world record by 1 second, but if you decided to vere off the course, run the course the wrong way or run the 26.2 miles of your own chosing, no one is going to give you a medal, a t shirt or the world record, because you didn't follow the pre determined route. All your hard work and excellent running will be for nothing.

It's the same in life. Unless we're running the course that Allah (swt) has given us, it doesn't matter. The first and foremost most important thing in the world is to acknowledge that Allah (swt) is one and that we owe everything to Him. Everything else is secondary.


And I don't mean to say that we should accept Islam blindly. It's kind of hard to explain. Everything makes sense in my head, but I have a hard time conveying it sometimes, lol. I'm saying that Islam is submission, and we submit to it. We should seek to understand the rulings and wisdoms of Allah (swt), but we can't change them, and in the end, we accept them whether we understand them or not.

Hell seems to have fallen out of fashion in today's world. It's not politically correct, not fashionable, the odd uncle who we would rather like to forget about. But, if we read the Qur'an, it's something that is very real and that we should be aware of. Heaven, Hell, the Day of Judgment, the Grave, these are all very real and very important concepts in Islam. inshaAllah if a person dies believing la ilaha il Allah, they will make it to paradise. They may make a stop off in hell first, to be purified of their sins, but inshaAllah they will make it to paradise.

 

[zakirs]

Yes as somebody above said , its not for us to decide whether he will go to hell or not.god alone will decide that.

Thought it does not mean you should give up.Pray for them.try to teach them about islam and make sure you do the bit extra prayer for them and then its for god to decide.

 

[NoorInaya]

Assalamu alaikum

I'm the process of converting (I'm agnostic raised Catholic), I started reading articles and watching videos on Islam before reading the Qu'ran. I just started reading the Qu'ran a few nights ago, when it hit me....

As a convert, that means my family and friends are non Muslims. According to the Qu'ran they are 'non believers' or infidels. So if I convert, this would mean that I'd believe they would go to hell for being non believers:





Am I misinterpreting something?

Does the Qu'ran address this?

Question for any converts....... do you feel that your family and friends will go to hell?

Please somebody help me, I hope that I'm misreading something.

Thank you

Asalaamu Alaikam,

First, it should be understood that this word "infidel" is not actually used in the Quran. Infidel is a European term that was used in the Crusades for all people who were "not Christian."

The Quran uses several terms to describe non-Muslims. The Christians and Jews are "Ahle Kitab," which means "People of the Book." The "book" being the Torah and the Injeel (Gospel). They are never referred to as infidels. This is a common misconception that even many, many Muslims hold.

Polytheists (those believing in more than one God, like Hindus, for example), are referred to as "mushrikeen," which means "those who practices "shirk." Shirk is the partnering anything else with God (which is what polytheists do). The singular form is "mushrik" It should be noted that Christians and Jews DO NOT do this, nor does the Quran ever refer to them by this term. Judaism teaches the concept of ONE GOD, as does Christianity. The difference is that Christianity has a "triune God," but it is still only ONE GOD, just three facets (look at a diamond for example. It has many facets, but you still understand it to only be one diamond.)

Then there are the Hypocrites, or "munafiqeen" in the Quran. The hypocrites are those who, while among Muslims, will claim that they, too are Muslim, yet as soon as they get away from the Muslims, they will say, "I am not Muslim, I was only kidding." The singular form is "munafiq"

Non-believers are referred to as "kafir" (singular) or "kuffar" (plural form). These are the people who say that God does not exist. Most of the condemnation in the Quran is directed at the kuffar, for their total rejection of God. The Quran never refers to Christians and Jews as being kuffar. They are not, because they DO believe in God.

There is an error in the thinking of many Muslims that the terms "kafir" and "kuffar" refer to any non-Muslim. This is ignoring the fact that there are multiple terms for non-Muslims, depending on what they believe in.

I am a revert, but I do not feel comfortable discussing what I feel will "happen" to my non-Muslim relatives. I am conflicted on this, and after finding out that there are differing views among scholars in regards to just exactly who the Quran says will be punished for not believing, I am coming to new conclusions and feelings on the matter. I have been Muslim now for 7 years, and this new information has just been made available to me. As a result, I do not feel that I have adequate knowledge to comment on it.

I will advise you that you do what you feel in your heart. It looks as though Allah is guiding you to Islam, and you should not fight this. You also should not despair for your non-Muslim friends and family. You have the opportunity to teach them about Islam. Perhaps upon hearing about the true nature of Islam, they will accept it as their own religion, inshAllah (God willing).

Only Allah knows what will happen to anyone, and we should never claim to know for certain. When it comes to interpreting the Quran, I would like to point out that the Quran only clearly tells us that two people are going to Hell for sure. Those two people were the Prophet Muhammad's (peace be upon him) uncle, Abu Lahab, and his wife. This was because of his behavior, and how he tried to block people from receiving the message of Islam. For all other people living or dead, we regular people have NO idea who will be in Heaven or Hell. This is for Allah alone to know.

 

[andgar]

Thank you to all of you that replied.

I was going crazy thinking what I was thinking.

Your answers have eased my heart and soul.... to a degree.

Please excuse me for not being 100% convinced, but it hasn't been easy for me and I'm cynical by nature. I question all and everything so this transition has been a battle.

Just when I thought I was making more and more progress in converting, I came across the information I posted and my heart was crushed. I am not ashamed to say I started to cry tears of pain, loss and heartbreak.

But your posts along with this post from another board helped me.....

i dont see what being a friend or family has to do with belief.

If you convert and ya family doesnt and they live insincere lives, then they would be disbelievers

but the flip side is that if youre a sincere jew, God may give you paradise even if you never accepted islam

and of course if you die before you ever were exposed to the truth then there is no punishment for you

I still have many questions and I hope I can be at ease with knowing my family will be judged by the life they lead.

Thank you

 

[جوري]

You should be careful where you get your info..
also none of us here are Muslim scholars, thus I suggest your very difficult questions be directed to:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...Online-English-Ask_Scholar/Page/FatwaCounselE

ask the scholar..
there are many non-authentic ahadith out there as I have recently learned circulating the net, since folks aren't as familiar with ahadith as they are with the Quran, man go unnoticed.

Also, no one knows who is going where.. only God judges.. some people will be tried on judgment day, since they never received a message...

I'll recommend you these two books by Dr. Lawrence Brown

God'ed?: The Case for Islam as the Completion of Revelation

and
MisGod'ed: A Roadmap of Guidance and Misguidance in the Abrahamic Religions by Dr. Laurence B. Brown (Paperback - Feb 22, 2008)

in the beginning it is best to do as much reading as possible and get your questions from the best possible source..
on this forum I recommend you go through the posts of Ansar Al'Adl

http://www.islamicboard.com/search.php?searchid=1207140&pp=25&page=80

his replies are quite expansive and always scholarly..

 

[Snowflake]

Peace be to you Andgar,

Your concern for your family show what a loving and caring human being you are. Your worries are understandable bro. But bro, think for a moment.. Did your family choose to have you? It is by the grace of Allah you were born into the family you have. The love they have for you, and you for them, is by Allah's blessing and mercy, no bro? Do you not then, owe it to your Creator to put Him first, before worldly relationships, and then place your hope in Him to guide your family to the Truth?

As you have more questions, it'd be good if you can ask about other matters you want to learn about. Please don't hesistate in asking. The fact that you said you are in the process of reverting, is already making me feel you are our brother in Islam. I will pray to Allah, you find the answers you're looking for and for your and your families guidence.

Sorry, I couldn't be of more help at this time. I'm feeling a bit off peak.. May Allah's blessings be upon you and your family. Ameen

 

[mathematician]

salamu 'alalykum,
Welcome to Islam.

Whatever you do, make sure you think positively of Allah.
Read the Qur'an, as it will improve your relationship with Allah.
Do not pay attention to what will be of no use to you.
While it's nice to know if one's relatives will go to heaven or hell, it really
is not beneficial at all. We just don't know.
I would love to know where my muslim relatives went, but I can't.
So, focus your energy on what can make you gain Allah's pleasure.

You could be spending so much time wondering what if they go to hell and that
the same time it could be possible that they are going to heaven.

May Allah guide you to Islam, make you a great muslim. May Allah grant you His pleasure.
Ameen.

 

[andgar]

Once again, thanks for all the replies.

I can breathe now.

 

[markislam]

welcome bro iam also a new believer in the process of converting, i think we can talk let me know if you need my email

 

[- IqRa -]

May Allaah make the conversion easy for you both and give your heart satisfaction, Ameen.

 

[sur]

Assalamu alaikum
As a convert, that means my family and friends are non Muslims. According to the Qu'ran they are 'non believers' or infidels. So if I convert, this would mean that I'd believe they would go to hell for being non believers:

wa alaikum as-salaam

Only thing that ALLAH won't pardon is "SHIRK". Other than that HE can forgive anything if HE wants.

Quran says ppl-of-book, if they don't commit shirk & do good deeds will have their due reward.

At least try to bring your family out of SHIRK then there might be hope for them. Follow orders of, Pray to & Prayers to ONLY & ONLY GOD Almighty. Not to Jesus or Mary or Holy Spirit or Idols etc.

 

[Misz_Muslimah]

412. `Ubadah bin As-Samit (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He who bears witness that there is no true god except Allah, alone having no partner with Him, that Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger, that `Isa (Jesus) is His slave and Messenger and he (Jesus) is His Word which He communicated to Maryam (Mary) and His spirit which He sent to her, that Jannah is true and Hell is true; Allah will make him enter Jannah accepting whatever deeds he accomplished".
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

 

[UmmSqueakster]

It should be noted that when we look at the example of the beloved Prophet (saws) and his companions, that they maintained the best of relationships with their non muslim relatives, when they weren't actively trying to harm them. They would exchange gifts with them, visit them and in general continue to maintain their family ties.

Please excuse me for not being 100% convinced, but it hasn't been easy for me and I'm cynical by nature. I question all and everything so this transition has been a battle.

Not a problem. Submission is not something that comes natural to the western person I think. It's just not a part of our culture. Take your time, ask questions and ask Allah (swt) constantly for guidance. Because in the end, it's Him who will bring you to Islam, not any studying you do yourself

 

[Son Of Wisdom]

May i brother point here some few remarks:
Your way of thinking suggest that you are willing to convert To Islam but you are not planning to bring all your relatives with you to make them share with you the beauty and light of this Great religion. why brother don't you think this way: I'll Inshallah with help of Allah convert and i'll make as my highest aim to bring all my beloved relatives to the same truth and pureness i found in Islam.
I think brother you should be prepared to deal with a quit uneasy situation .it will be your duty to preach Islam to your relatives and there is probability someone from them would reject this message -but i pray for them all to be guided inshallah-. This is the same dilemma the early companions of the prophet pbuh have to deal with. They had to make a difficult choice between pleasing their fathers or following the message of prophet Mohamed pbuh. Brother Islam is not an easy matter. It's very Imporant choice and one will go through quit though trials before Allah knows really this person is sincere.
I believe you are still young , so take the time to learn more and Pray to Allah swt to guide you and give you strenght. I just want you to be prepared.Becoming a muslim is not the end of the way ! at the contrary it's the start and you should prepare yourself to the challenges for you as a Muslim . The shaitan (devil) will never let you find your way to Allah and jannah . He will always fight you and try distressing you from this path. My Guess is those Ideas and fears you have are the work of Devil . He is working hard to distract you and turn you away from the truth and light. So be carefull don't let him win over you brother!
Inshaalah if you become Muslim their is great possibility your relatives will convert too if you manage to give them a good living muslim example.
I pray Allah to give you peace of Mind and Soul .Ameen.

 

[Al Ansari]

Asalaamu Alaikam,



Polytheists (those believing in more than one God, like Hindus, for example), are referred to as "mushrikeen," which means "those who practices "shirk." Shirk is the partnering anything else with God (which is what polytheists do). The singular form is "mushrik" It should be noted that Christians and Jews DO NOT do this, nor does the Quran ever refer to them by this term. Judaism teaches the concept of ONE GOD, as does Christianity. The difference is that Christianity has a "triune God," but it is still only ONE GOD, just three facets (look at a diamond for example. It has many facets, but you still understand it to only be one diamond.)

as salaamu 'alaikum,

So the partnering of 'Isa ibn Maryam (as) with Allaah (swt) is not considered Shirk???

 

[abu_musab461]

it is shirk, but Isa ibnu Maryam (Jesus son of Mary, peace be upon them both) will be free from the people who used to declare them as gods besides Allah (swt)

Taghooth (false diety) is only that which was worshipped besides Allah (swt) and it was concented to by the individual worshipped.

in this case neither Jesus nor Mary consented to being worshipped.