Urgent Help

[anonymous]

Salam

I am a type A personality since childhood and have always been overly competitive and seeking to excel above everyone around me. Allhamdulillah, Allah has blessed me with many successes in my career, but I still always feel jealous of other ppl who are doing better than me.

I do not have formal diagnosis of anti-social personality disorder but I think I have some traits of it. I hate humans in general. I have always been jealous and envious of others, especially when they got it with putting in less effort while Id have to put double the effort and still not got similar results. I've been angry at Allah for that too.

How do I get rid of such jealousy? I remember that I picked up these traits from humans themselves. When I was treated like crap for the most part of my life, I started treating others like crap.

I do feel that such a hateful existence is probably cursed by Allah. But why do some humans turn out this way despite believing in Allah? What went wrong with me? Can you guys guide me.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

Root cause is probably because you've assigned too much importance to the time you have here. Remember, there are different types and stages of existence. First was the world of souls, we moved on from that into the womb of the mother, then there is this world where we are presently at, then there's the grave, then the day of judgement itself and finally our resting places of hell/heaven.

The stage we are now, this is a drop in the ocean in comparison to the hereafter. It's a time of test and isn't a 'goal' in and of itself. What matters most here isn't material goods and how well we do in terms of education, salary, jobs, the houses and cars etc as that is all going to go out the window once we pass away but rather how well we behave, how much we worship Allah, how kind and considerate we are to others, how much charity we give etc., these things are eternal and are carried over into the grave with us and will be used as a means of judgement.

 

[anonymous]

thanks for your suggestions. any one else? My friend just got the job for which I was rejected last year. I had more gpa than her. my CV was also better, I had many publications while she doesnt. She has hotter looks which I dont. I feel she used those to create a positive impression during the interview. I am feeling jealous of her too, and getting angry at my qadr.

 

[Alpha Dude]

I do feel that such a hateful existence is probably cursed by Allah. But why do some humans turn out this way despite believing in Allah? What went wrong with me? Can you guys guide me.

Sister, your jealousy isn't something that defines who you are. You can change. It's not an impossible thing.

Believing in Allah is not automatically going to render a person angelic. Iblis, our enemy, is going to try everything to corrupt us and then there is our weak will power which lets him misguide us.

You need to seek refuge in Allah against the shaytan. Make sincere and concerted dua for guidance, from the bottom of your heart day in day out that Allah changes and cleanses your heart and finally but most importantly it's always going to be a case of using your willpower.

Next time you see something good that someone has, just say MashaAllah and try your utmost to be sincere about it. Struggle with yourself.

 

[anonymous]

bro, I've tried my best. I cant get rid of these feelings of tragedy, inferiority, and hasad. I think the only solution is to kill myself and rid myself of these feelings of being better than everyone else.

 

[Alpha Dude]

No, man.

That's the worst thing you can do. Suicide is haram and something that earns the punishment of perpetual hellfire.

Again, the root cause is your perspective on life. You feel this world has more weight and importance than the hereafter. That's evident by the fact that you get jealous of others and angry at Allah for the things you don't have and also by the fact that you would even let the thought of suicide enter your mind, knowing how bad the punishment is.

My advice, read the Quran. Read its translation if you don't understand Arabic. Read the description of hell. The description of paradise. See how severe the punishment and how enjoyable the reward both are. Hopefully that will push you into exercising some level of control.

 

[Predator]

bro, I've tried my best. I cant get rid of these feelings of tragedy, inferiority, and hasad. I think the only solution is to kill myself and rid myself of these feelings of being better than everyone else.

Get rid of that materialistic mindset of yours and dont ever think of committing suicide as you might end up spending eternity in hellfire,

"And do not kill yourselves (nor kill one another). Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you." (Quran, chapter 4, verse 29)

The Prophet saws said, "Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself, will be in the (Hell) Fire falling down into it and abiding therein perpetually forever; and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; and whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever. (Bukhari)

When a man committed suicide during the Prophet’s lifetime, the Prophet was distressed. He did not perform the funeral prayer for the deceased,

 

[Alpha Dude]

bro, I've tried my best. I cant get rid of these feelings of tragedy, inferiority, and hasad. I think the only solution is to kill myself and rid myself of these feelings of being better than everyone else.

Allah has said that he doesn't test a person more than that person can bear.

This means that whatever we are tested with, we do have the means to overcome/be patient with it. So, try harder and if you slip up - repent and try hard again. This is a cycle that will always continue.

Nobody is perfect and we will always make mistakes. In fact, Allah even rewards us when we repent.

JUst have the following mentality:

i. "I will do my best to avoid all these bad things"
ii. "If I make a mistake, I will seek forgiveness and do what is in point i."