want advice please disgusted by men

[anonymous]

First of all I am a guy( american arab, muslim). I love my family, but I have very a hard time saying I love you, to the male members of my family (father, grandfather...etc). I do love them but I am disgusted by males. I even have a hard time praying, because God is perceived as a male...meaning I have to submit...to a male?? I do not know why but it's just all too sexual for me, when it comes to men. Something in my mind perceives it this way, I try and stop it but cannot. When I say I love you to my mother, grandmother..etc there are never any thoughts of it being perverted. Most of my friends are girls, not because I want to "get with them" but because they have feelings, they talk, they have empathy, sympathy...all men care about is being "mainly" "strong" and "tough" looking. I would NEVER hit a woman, I would NEVER make a woman feel like she is a subordinate, I would never raise my voice to a woman. Men are vile... :/ When I was young there was a man (he was arab) who tried to do...stuff...he said things, was too touchy and made dirty gestures that I hated him for. non-family member, he is gone now..part of it may have to do with that but I feel it's much more since I already had an animosity towards men(not family and a few friends) before that (but it had nothing to do with saying i love you...etc to family) NONE of my friends are arab...all of them are christian.
definitely need some guidance since it stretches to even God, being a male... no animosity towards God of course, it's just hard for me to "submit" to a male being.

I do have some issues, part is that I may be mildy retarded...so maybe that's plays a role in it?

 

[Muhammad]

:salamext: dear brother,

I'm sorry to hear of the bad experiences in your past... Alhamdulillah that is over now. Not all men are the same, just as not all women are the same. The fact that they want to be strong and tough does not mean they want to abuse that strength against women. It could well be that they want to protect women and others weaker than them. It is possible that some bad experiences may have ruined your perception of men in general, but perhaps over time, through experience of meeting and dealing with people, you will overcome these perceptions and come to see things differently Insha'Allaah.

On the issue of the masculine pronoun being used to refer to God, the following articles may help to clarify Insha'Allaah:

Question

Why is Allah always reffered as 'He'? I ask this because my teacher in class raised this issue.


Answered by the Fatwa Department Research Committee - chaired by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî

​

Allah says: “He created the pairs, male and female.” [Sûrah al-Najm: 45]

Allah is the Creator of both sexes. We do not attribute being male or being female to Allah. We only describe Allah as He describes himself or as His Prophet (peace be upon him) describes Him.

The primary reason that the pronoun “He” is used to refer to Allah is that He chooses to use the pronoun for Himself.

It is also in conformity with the dictates of the Arabic language in which the Qur’ân was revealed. Indeed, Allah says: “Verily this is a revelation from the Lord of the Worlds. With it came down the Faithful Spirit to your heart – so that you may be among those who give warning – in a clear Arabic tongue.” [Sûrah al-Shu`arâ’: 192-195]

In the Arabic language, there in no pronoun with a neutral gender equivalent to the English “it”. (Even in English, this neutral gendered pronoun is not to be used for beings possessing the attributes of knowledge, power and will. In English, it would be a sign of disrespect to use the pronoun “it” in such a context.)

In Arabic, when the gender of the subject is unknown or unspecified or when the subject is plural and contains both male and female individuals, the masculine pronoun will be used. In Arabic, the masculine pronoun is the default pronoun. It does not have to imply masculinity. It can be used by a speaker without masculinity being intended

By contrast, female pronouns like “she” in Arabic are used exclusively when the subject is female. Feminine pronouns cannot be used in any other context. Therefore, it is obvious why the pronoun “she” would not be used to refer to Allah, since that would indeed be specifying a gender.

And Allah knows best.

We hope that this answer clarifies the matter for you.

http://en.islamtoday.net/node/652​

Also:

Name of Questioner

S. M - Canada​

Title

The Nature of Allah​

Question

Scholars of Islam, as-Salamu `alaykum. I am curious about the nature of Allah. I know Allah is not a person, nor anything like a man, but the Qur’an always refers to Allah as “He” or “Him” and even sometimes “I” and “We”. Is this just for our understanding, or maybe something that is lost in the translation? I see Allah as an unfolding, never ending source of power, but without any emotion or the same kind of thought process as mortals. I was wondering if you could help me on this.​

Date

07/Jul/2003​

Name of Counsellor

Muzammil Siddiqi​

Topic

Muslim Belief


Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.


All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, thanks a lot for your question which reflects your care to have a sound belief and faith. Allah commands Muslims to refer to people of knowledge to become well-acquainted with the teachings of Islam in all aspects of life.

Before addressing this question, it is essential to state the following: The Islamic approach towards dealing with any issue relating to faith and practice is direct. Thus, this invariably involves looking at what the Qur’an has to say, how this was understood and applied by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the pious generations, who are considered our perennial role models in all matters of deen (religion).

First of all, we would like to stress the fact that, every committed Muslim should have a firm belief that Allah Almighty is UNIQUE in everything. There is no resemblance between Allah the Creator and His creation. Referring to this, Allah Almighty says: "Nothing is like Him and He hears and sees all things." (Ash-Shura: 11)

In his response to your question, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:

“According to the teachings of the Qur’an and Sunnah, we say Allah is the Most Powerful (Al-Qawiyy). We may say that Allah’s power is unfolding and never ending, but we do not say that Allah is ‘an unfolding never ending power.’

In Islam, we believe that Allah has many Names and Beautiful Attributes. Allah sees, hears, speaks, likes, and dislikes. Allah listens to our prayers and blesses those who believe in Him and obey Him. It is correct that Allah is not a person like a man, but this does not mean that Allah is some kind of abstract being, or mere energy or power. If you read the Qur’an, you will see that there are many personal qualities of Allah. But the Qur’an reminds us that “Nothing is like Him and He hears and sees all things.” (Ash-Shura: 11) This is a very profound statement. On the one hand it denies all anthropomorphism (tashbih), and on the other hand it rejects all kind of nihilism (ta`til).

Allah Most High also loves, hates, is pleased, gets angry, wishes us to do certain things, and does not like us to do some other things. But in the case of Allah these are not emotions like those of mortals. These are according to His own Majesty and Greatness. We cannot fully grasp His Attributes, because He is infinite and we are finite. We have no other way of knowing Him, except what He tells us through His Book and His Prophets. In the Qur’an Allah says about Himself in the famous Ayat al-Kursi: “Allah! There is no god but He, the Living, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permits? He knows what (appears to His creatures as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He wills. His Throne does extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving them, for He is the Most High, the Supreme (in glory).” (Al-Baqarah: 255)

The pronouns ‘He’, ‘Him’ or ‘I’, ‘We’ are to indicate that Allah is a Being, not a thing. We do not use the pronoun ‘It’ for Allah. If it were our belief that Allah is ‘power’ or ‘energy’ then we could have used the expression ‘It’, but this is not acceptable in Islam. We do not believe that Allah is a male or a female. Allah is beyond maleness and femaleness. Allah is the Creator of both males and females. Muslims do not make an image of Allah. Even if an image comes to their mind they say, ‘Allah Akbar,’ (Allah is Greater) and He transcends this particular image. In the Qur’an Allah speaks sometimes as ‘I’ and sometimes as ‘We’. This is to describe His power and His closeness. But Allah is never referred to as ‘They’ or ‘You’ in the plural (hum or antum).

I suggest you read the Qur’an carefully and see for yourself what Allah says about Himself. There is no book in which you can find a more authentic and direct word of Allah better than the Qur’an.”

Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.pakistanlink.com

You can also read:
​

​

Naught Is as His likeness!


Pronoun ‘He’ Referring to Allah in the Qur’an


The Pronoun ‘We’ Referring to Allah in the Qur’an

And Allaah (swt) knows best.

 

[Muslim Woman]

I even have a hard time praying, because God is perceived as a male ?

as bro already explained - God is NOT male . Ask Allah to help u to overcome this misconception.

Most of my friends are girls, ?

it's not allowed in Islam to make friendship with the opposite gender . Satan can easily tempt to commit a major sin ( may Allah forbids ) .

I do have some issues, part is that I may be mildy retarded...so maybe that's plays a role in it?

Did u consult any doctor ?

 

[ardianto]

Assalamu'alaikum, brother Anonymous.

After I read your post I will ask a question. Do you have a dream to meet a woman who can make you feel comfortable with her, then you marry her, have children and live happily?

 

[Futuwwa]

Remember the words of al-Ikhlas. None is born of God, God is born of none, there is none like God.

God most certainly does not have a gender. Gender is just a property of a specific part of creation.

 

[anonymous]

After I read your post I will ask a question. Do you have a dream to meet a woman who can make you feel comfortable with her, then you marry her, have children and live happily?

Thanks everyone for your words/advice..I understand better, as for your question ardianto...of course

 

[Abz2000]

It's in English a bit too, maybe trasnation from the Semitic origins,
We use the word "Mankind" to refer to people, not just men.

 

[Cabdullahi]

Don't let that one incident scar you mentally and change the way you think.