Was it haram? =\

[Mohamed_]

Salam Aleykum,
I'm here to ask something which I'm not sure about it was right.

So umm... I live with my non-muslim mother and a non-muslim step-father. They are christians or atheist, I don't know.

My mom makes me food every morning for school. She also did one day like on the other ones. She knows that I'm a muslim and that I don't eat any forbidden food.

I came to school and I was hungry, took out a sandwich out of my bag, begun to eat it. I ate the first one, then wanted to begin to eat the second one. I've recognized the taste of the salami was strange. Actually, I never felt that taste since I converted to Islam. I opened my 2nd. sandwhich and saw that's that kind of salami which made of porks.

I got very angry, and I was very angry at my mother. I felt like she lied to me. But I was angry at myself as well for not checking the meat in the sandwich before begun to eat.

I went home and checked the frigider I found that salami in it and checked what's in that.

And there was written 'pork'. I yelled at my mom, and asked why did she make me food which contains pork. She did not say anything, she looked at me like I was being an idiot. I think she thought it totally fine she put pork meat into my food.

I got very angry then and told to her 'I hope Allah will ask you why you've done it to me'. She was still being quiet.

I went into my room, she came in and said 'there's nothing wrong with pork'...

The 'funniest' thing is to me, she was a muslim for 2 years.

So, here's my question. Was it haram to get angry at my mom and yelled at her?

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salam Aleykum,
I'm here to ask something which I'm not sure about it was right.

So umm... I live with my non-muslim mother and a non-muslim step-father. They are christians or atheist, I don't know.

My mom makes me food every morning for school. She also did one day like on the other ones. She knows that I'm a muslim and that I don't eat any forbidden food.

I came to school and I was hungry, took out a sandwich out of my bag, begun to eat it. I ate the first one, then wanted to begin to eat the second one. I've recognized the taste of the salami was strange. Actually, I never felt that taste since I converted to Islam. I opened my 2nd. sandwhich and saw that's that kind of salami which made of porks.

I got very angry, and I was very angry at my mother. I felt like she lied to me. But I was angry at myself as well for not checking the meat in the sandwich before begun to eat.

I went home and checked the frigider I found that salami in it and checked what's in that.

And there was written 'pork'. I yelled at my mom, and asked why did she make me food which contains pork. She did not say anything, she looked at me like I was being an idiot. I think she thought it totally fine she put pork meat into my food.

I got very angry then and told to her 'I hope Allah will ask you why you've done it to me'. She was still being quiet.

I went into my room, she came in and said 'there's nothing wrong with pork'...

The 'funniest' thing is to me, she was a muslim for 2 years.

So, here's my question. Was it haram to get angry at my mom and yelled at her?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Jazakallah for sharing this with us my brother.

The Prophet is reported to have said:

"Indeed, gentleness adds more beauty to the atmosphere it reposes therein." (Muslim)

Hazrat ibn Abbas narrates from the Prophet that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah will open two doors of paradise for him. But if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet , “Even if they are oppressors?” The Prophet replied, “Yes, even if they are oppressors.”


It is said, a person who disobeys his parents, or disrespects them and does not listen to them, Allah will open two doors of hell for him. And if he disrespects only one of them, then Allah will only open one door of hell for him.

Above all, this requires patience and self-restraint. Learn about the tremendousness of being good to one's parents, and keep this in mind.


When troubled, tried, or tested, turn to Allah in earnest, heart-felt supplication (dua), for He has told us to, "Call upon Me: I will answer you."


The fire of anger is put out by the water of love: respond to her harshness with love, and soon you will find things changing.

Allah told the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) in the Qur'an,


003.159 It was by the mercy of Allah that You were lenient with them, for if You had been stern and fierce of heart they would have dispersed from round about thee. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult with them upon the conduct of affairs. And when You art resolved, then put your trust in Allah. Lo! Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).


003.160 If Allah is your helper none can overcome you, and if He withdraw His help from you, who is there who can help you after Him? In Allah let believers put their trust.

Allah, the exalted, ordered us to treat them kindly even when they try to make us associate partners to Allah.

When being kind to one’s parents, we do not expect a reward from them, but we expect a reward from Allah.

If the parents are not kind and do not appreciate the kindness of their children, then one has to be patient, bearing the difficulties and be steadfast in doing good to them, and the outcome will be good, Insha Allah.

So respond to your mother with kindness and tell her in the most beautiful of manners using wisdom that you cannot eat anything haraam especially pork and that you want her to respect this. Next time prepare your own lunch brother and take extra care in what you eat as your mother and step father are non Muslims so there food won't be halal for you.

 

[CosmicPathos]

Salam Aleykum,
I'm here to ask something which I'm not sure about it was right.

So umm... I live with my non-muslim mother and a non-muslim step-father. They are christians or atheist, I don't know.

My mom makes me food every morning for school. She also did one day like on the other ones. She knows that I'm a muslim and that I don't eat any forbidden food.

I came to school and I was hungry, took out a sandwich out of my bag, begun to eat it. I ate the first one, then wanted to begin to eat the second one. I've recognized the taste of the salami was strange. Actually, I never felt that taste since I converted to Islam. I opened my 2nd. sandwhich and saw that's that kind of salami which made of porks.

I got very angry, and I was very angry at my mother. I felt like she lied to me. But I was angry at myself as well for not checking the meat in the sandwich before begun to eat.

I went home and checked the frigider I found that salami in it and checked what's in that.

And there was written 'pork'. I yelled at my mom, and asked why did she make me food which contains pork. She did not say anything, she looked at me like I was being an idiot. I think she thought it totally fine she put pork meat into my food.

I got very angry then and told to her 'I hope Allah will ask you why you've done it to me'. She was still being quiet.

I went into my room, she came in and said 'there's nothing wrong with pork'...

The 'funniest' thing is to me, she was a muslim for 2 years.

So, here's my question. Was it haram to get angry at my mom and yelled at her?

assalam alaikum,
wait, so your mom knew that you dont eat pork and you forbade her to give to you and she still gave it to you? Wow, thats a bit rude attitude from your mom.

But try to be kind to them, who knows ALlah will turn their heart.

Salam.

 

[GuestFellow]

Well no need to get angry. Just make the sandwich yourself...you'll know what goes in.

Don't yell at your mom. =( Keep in mind, your mom still cares for you.

Just say pork makes people fat, and its unhealthy.

 

[CosmicPathos]

Well no need to get angry. Just make the sandwich yourself...you'll know what goes in.

Don't yell at your mom. =( Keep in mind, your mom still cares for you.

Just say pork makes people fat, and its unhealthy.

jazakAllah for the input. I doubt she does. if she did care for the brother, she would have listened to his request and not made him disobey Allah. This is anything but caring for her son. Anyways.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

assalam alaikum,
wait, so your mom knew that you dont eat pork and you forbade her to give to you and she still gave it to you? Wow, thats a bit rude attitude from your mom.

If I were in your places and If I love Allah more than my mom, I would tell her "If I give you feces to eat, whats wrong with that?" so that she could understand the gravity of this situation.

But try to be kind to them, who knows ALlah will turn their heart.

Salam.

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Kindly read my last post on this thread brother we cannot speak to our mothers like that at all even if they oppress us and are idol worshippers. Allah has given mothers a very high position in Islam and they deserve our utmost honour and respect so please refrain from aiming such language towards ones mother. Jazakallah

 

[Donia]

Alaikum asalaam.

Brother, I don't know if it was haram to act that way towards your mother but I would say it is disliked at least.
I know that made you angry that your mom made you a sandwich with pork in it and then acted like it wasn't a big deal.
In her mind, she doesn't think anything is wrong with pork though. May Allah forgive her. Ameen.
But anyway.. the point is your mother carried you while she was pregnant and labored to bring you into this world. Not an easy task. Try to show her a little respect and compassion.
At least she cares enough about you to make your lunch.
Just kindly say something like," Mom, I don't eat pork because I am a muslim so can you please make my sandwiches without pork from now on?".. Or you can just make them yourself.
Just apologize to her. I'm sure she'll forgive you insha'Allah.

 

[Raaina]

Salam Aleykum,
I'm here to ask something which I'm not sure about it was right.

So umm... I live with my non-muslim mother and a non-muslim step-father. They are christians or atheist, I don't know.

My mom makes me food every morning for school. She also did one day like on the other ones. She knows that I'm a muslim and that I don't eat any forbidden food.

I came to school and I was hungry, took out a sandwich out of my bag, begun to eat it. I ate the first one, then wanted to begin to eat the second one. I've recognized the taste of the salami was strange. Actually, I never felt that taste since I converted to Islam. I opened my 2nd. sandwhich and saw that's that kind of salami which made of porks.

I got very angry, and I was very angry at my mother. I felt like she lied to me. But I was angry at myself as well for not checking the meat in the sandwich before begun to eat.

I went home and checked the frigider I found that salami in it and checked what's in that.

And there was written 'pork'. I yelled at my mom, and asked why did she make me food which contains pork. She did not say anything, she looked at me like I was being an idiot. I think she thought it totally fine she put pork meat into my food.

I got very angry then and told to her 'I hope Allah will ask you why you've done it to me'. She was still being quiet.

I went into my room, she came in and said 'there's nothing wrong with pork'...

The 'funniest' thing is to me, she was a muslim for 2 years.

So, here's my question. Was it haram to get angry at my mom and yelled at her?

Perhaps she just forgot, I've told my parent's a heap of times I don't want to eat pork and they still say - I'm making sausage sandwich for dinner do you want one? No thanks,I don't eat pork

Don't yell at your mom imsad everyone makes mistakes sometimes :statisfie
Maybe check your food from now on that your mom makes just incase she's forgotten again.

 

[tango92]

check it out, get loads of halal meat and just put the pork sticker on the packing, and get rid of the real pork

 

[Rabi'ya]

why dont you make your own food for school the night before and keep it in the fridge? And explain to her that you don't want to eat pork. tell her you don't like to eat it.

 

[Mohamed_]

She knows that I'm a muslim, she also knows whats are the forbidden foods for me. Even I said she was a muslim as well.

I've told her I don't eat pork and don't drink alcohol. She keeps asking me: Don't you want a little champagne? Or ask the same about pork.

Hmm.. About making my own sandwiches. I wish I could, but there is nothing helal thing I could put in it. Since about 2 week there's no pork free meat at home.

And I don't know, but it's not enough to my parents that there's no food for me, but there's pork and alcohol in the fridge. It makes me angry at all.

I go home after school, get in the house and ask my mom 'What's the launch today?'. She answers 'Nothing.' or she says 'There's <something> on the cook, but there's pork in it.' After this I always go into my room and thinking of why she didn't cook for me as well. It's often happens.

I'm not getting into the mood to eat at home, maybe I'll go to restaurants or I don't know, but I don't want eat/drink any forbidden food/drink at home.

I really wish to get to my dad and get out to Malaysia with him.

I'm 16 yrs old, in that 16 yrs my mom didn't take much care of me. There's a lot of bad things what I never wish to anyone, and I had to go through them. So umm.. it's all.

 

[Raaina]

hmmmm can't you go live with your dad once you've finished school?
I'm not really sure what else you could do about this. I've had the fustration of going to the fridge and finding nothing but pork, but then I can just walk to the shop and get something else

Maybe you should tell your mom your vegetarian, she might buy fruit and veg and you can eat that

Isn't pork really expensive to? I'm sure chicken is a cheaper meat, you should tell her to buy that instead because it's cheaper

 

[cat eyes]

Salam Aleykum,
I'm here to ask something which I'm not sure about it was right.

So umm... I live with my non-muslim mother and a non-muslim step-father. They are christians or atheist, I don't know.

My mom makes me food every morning for school. She also did one day like on the other ones. She knows that I'm a muslim and that I don't eat any forbidden food.

I came to school and I was hungry, took out a sandwich out of my bag, begun to eat it. I ate the first one, then wanted to begin to eat the second one. I've recognized the taste of the salami was strange. Actually, I never felt that taste since I converted to Islam. I opened my 2nd. sandwhich and saw that's that kind of salami which made of porks.

I got very angry, and I was very angry at my mother. I felt like she lied to me. But I was angry at myself as well for not checking the meat in the sandwich before begun to eat.

I went home and checked the frigider I found that salami in it and checked what's in that.

And there was written 'pork'. I yelled at my mom, and asked why did she make me food which contains pork. She did not say anything, she looked at me like I was being an idiot. I think she thought it totally fine she put pork meat into my food.

I got very angry then and told to her 'I hope Allah will ask you why you've done it to me'. She was still being quiet.

I went into my room, she came in and said 'there's nothing wrong with pork'...

The 'funniest' thing is to me, she was a muslim for 2 years.

So, here's my question. Was it haram to get angry at my mom and yelled at her?

brother what was her reasons for leaving islam? i remember it was long time ago now but i went to visit my father for dinner and he had put bits of pork in my gravey sauce knowing very well it was haraam in my religion to eat it. it tasted funny and i asked him did he put pork into it and he lied to me and said there was no pork in it so then i continued to eat and then i noticed bits of pink meat and i knew straight away it was pork i opened the fridge and the only meat in there was pork so it had to be pork i started to panick and started to cry as if i had been poisoned or something i shouted at him too because of the fact he lied to me. that was a bit spiteful i don't know why he lied then afterwards i forced myself to get sick and left the home. it was a bit extreme i know but i had also health problems with eating pork before. just make your own lunch from now on :wa:

 

[sunnikid]

Salam Aleykum,
I'm here to ask something which I'm not sure about it was right.

So umm... I live with my non-muslim mother and a non-muslim step-father. They are christians or atheist, I don't know.

My mom makes me food every morning for school. She also did one day like on the other ones. She knows that I'm a muslim and that I don't eat any forbidden food.

I came to school and I was hungry, took out a sandwich out of my bag, begun to eat it. I ate the first one, then wanted to begin to eat the second one. I've recognized the taste of the salami was strange. Actually, I never felt that taste since I converted to Islam. I opened my 2nd. sandwhich and saw that's that kind of salami which made of porks.

I got very angry, and I was very angry at my mother. I felt like she lied to me. But I was angry at myself as well for not checking the meat in the sandwich before begun to eat.

I went home and checked the frigider I found that salami in it and checked what's in that.

And there was written 'pork'. I yelled at my mom, and asked why did she make me food which contains pork. She did not say anything, she looked at me like I was being an idiot. I think she thought it totally fine she put pork meat into my food.

I got very angry then and told to her 'I hope Allah will ask you why you've done it to me'. She was still being quiet.

I went into my room, she came in and said 'there's nothing wrong with pork'...

The 'funniest' thing is to me, she was a muslim for 2 years.

So, here's my question. Was it haram to get angry at my mom and yelled at her?

I hope you are doing well inshallah. I am totally unaware of the discusssion, i only read your post.

Since you didnt know, the pork was there it doesn't matter I have made that mistake before, I ate pork, and I was frustrated with myself, but after some research. By Accident its okay if you ate it .(as long as its unintentional)

About you'r mother, I think you didn't do the right thing, you have give her dawah, and nicely tell her, that you are a muslim, and these small things will not , make you let go of islam. And keep fighting back ( not as in hitting ) Give dawah, show her more love, so she realises that islam teaches you to love your parents, and she will accept islam inshallah.

wSallam

 

[Mohamed_]

@mystical_moon: My dad has a chance to take his family and me out to Malaysia. Life is getting worse and worse in Hungary, also my mom makes my life harder and harder, so she doesn't really make things what could make it easier. She always argues with my step-father, about anything she finds in his head. She does it about so idiotic things.
For example: my step-father dressed in a jeans, then my mom asked where is he going to, sure he's going to a party. Then my step-father answered, I'm not going to anywhere, I dressed in the jeans because I don't have any else clothe. So therefore my mom looked at my step-father like a ghost, didn't even take care of him for 3 days, my mom didn't even speak to him... And it's all about my step-father dressed in a jeans, because he had not any other clothe.
My mom was switching step-fathers without asking me what I think about it. She has chosen a very bad, that man beated my mom when she was pregnant with my brother. We were together living with that guy for 7 yrs. She has done many bad things especially to me. She even made stupid, idiot, retard things to my dad, then my dad said enough and they separated. I had 6 step-fathers in total, there was 3 good choose of them, but my mother broke them up, she was always saying her craps.

In short, therefore I'd like to leave my mother and let her do her stupid things, without forcing me with her, and go through all those bad things.

This 16 yrs of my life was the real hell for me, and now all I can say about is 'thanks, but I don't need it anymore'.

 

[Donia]

Salaamu Alaikum little brother.

SubhanAllah.. I didn't know the situation was as it is when I first responded to your original post.
I am sorry that you have had to go through all this. All I can advise is to exercise patience. Verily Allah loves those who are patient. Also remember that after every trial, there is relief. It says that in the Quran three times. Do you have any type of income yourself like a part time job or something? I'm sure you're still in school insha'Allah. Is there a food bank nearby where you can get some food that is okay for you to eat? Perhaps you can go to the mosque and tell the imam of your situation. I'm sure there's somebody there that wouldn't mind helping out.
I hope everything works out and you are rewarded for your patience insha'Allah.

 

[Mohamed_]

Salaamu Alaikum little brother.

SubhanAllah.. I didn't know the situation was as it is when I first responded to your original post.
I am sorry that you have had to go through all this. All I can advise is to exercise patience. Verily Allah loves those who are patient. Also remember that after every trial, there is relief. It says that in the Quran three times. Do you have any type of income yourself like a part time job or something? I'm sure you're still in school insha'Allah. Is there a food bank nearby where you can get some food that is okay for you to eat? Perhaps you can go to the mosque and tell the imam of your situation. I'm sure there's somebody there that wouldn't mind helping out.
I hope everything works out and you are rewarded for your patience insha'Allah.

No, I don't have any type of income. But I'm not looking for it, because if everything goes well, then I leave Hungary in few weeks. Yes, I'm still in school by the Hungarian education time for 3 years still. Where I live there is not any restaurant or fast-food restaurant, the closest is 20 kms away. There is 6 mosques in Hungary in total, the closest is 30 kms away, and it's not easy to get there.

So, I don't see anything or anyone who could help my problem atm. Only my dad is the way out.

 

[sister herb]

I am sorry after reading about your sad life with your mother. imsad

May Allah will help you soon that you can move away to live with people whose respects your faith.

And may Allah as well help your mother return to islam.