wearing hijab in europe

[Sadafs]

dear bros n sis, Assalam-o-Alaikum,

im a muslim born girl frm asia, currently living in switzerland.... n i've a big problem that i'd like to share with u guys, so that we can find out some solution to it.... i really need help n hope to get it frm u ppl...

ok so i arrived in swit when i was 12 (now im 20) , n i studied here..... im frm pakistan, n most ppl in my family r uneducated.... even my mom, but not my dad.... well, the thing is that my dad is strict, n he wanted me to take hijab.... at first i didnt agree but he forced me... n i had to accept, i was only 13 then.... i lost all my friends, n was left alone, i lost my confidence n suffered all those years.... then i arrived in college, n i decided to take scarf the way women take it in pakistan (only the backside of hair is hidden, hair in the front is visible)

the problem with my dad is that he only likes to impose rules on his children... he didnt care when i took it my own way.... n i changed a bit with time... but still i couldnt make friends.... i really suffered n felt bad bcz of my scarf.... even if i took it, i used to hate it... i took it only bcoz my dad forced me, n my mom too.... then my parents went back to pak, n i started living with my bros..... n last year, when i went back to pak to visit my parents, i told all this to my mom, n said to her that i didnt want to take it anymore.... but first she forced me, n when she saw i wasnt accepting, she started crying, n pleaded me, as if i was doing something very bad.... but the real thing is that i take scarf at college, but on weekends, when i do my part time job, i dont take it... n sometimes when i go to gym etc, i dont take it either... n i've heard that its no use if u just take it sometimes, n if u dont cover all ur hair... n later i'll work here in europe, n i wont take it i know, then why being hypocrite with God n with ur self n with other ppl.... i explained all this to her, but she cried as if it was the question of her honour.... i felt really bad n accepted to take it again....

but now i really feel being fake to myself n to my God.... i'd precise that i'm religious n pray 5 times a day, even though my parents r not living with me.... n i've my own relationship with Allah, i feel very close to him coz all the time i passed without my parents, i really suffered bcz of my bros, n i came close to Allah n prayed all the time.... even now i pray n recite Qur'an everyday, but taking hijaab this way makes me feel really bad..... im being hypocrite towards myself n towards Allah.... one day maybe i'd take it the way we have to, but at the moment im working, n later when i'll start my professional life here, i'll have to remove it tooo... then why taking it part time?

plz guys help me, i feel very confused, n dont know what to do... also tell me how to convince my mother.... thank u friends....

 

[Tania]

But do you have friends now when you don't wear the scarf :? or in the hours when you don't wear it.

 

[TrueStranger]

Sadafs

Pakistan is a pretty decent country Alhamdul’illah

And I am sure you could live in Pakistan, it is not that chaotic, poor, or unlivable.

One thing I hate, and I can’t help it, maybe it is not hate but anger, is parents who come from decent Muslim nations and decide to bring their children to kafir countires and expect their children to live in a kafir nation, at a young age and be a perfect practicing Muslim.

I think it is the most cruel thing a parent could do to their child. And Muslim parents were told/warned not to bring their children to Non-Muslim nations, so I still don’t know why they continue to do so.

You should have never been in Switzerland to begin with.

You are ashamed of being a Muslim, and you are fearful of being rejected and ridiculed by non-Muslims.

I can only pray for you and hope that you get the strength needed to wear the hajib proudly. But there is nothing wrong with wearing the hajib, you should be different than those whose abode is the hell fire. In God’s eyes they are the loser, and as Muslims we are supposed to distinguish ourselves from those who openly and proudly disobey Allah. Don’t let them drag you down, if they wish to take the wrong path let them do so on their own, if they want to tease you and harass you, then let them do so, because the Prophets and Messengers of Allah walked alone, and where teases, harassed, and viciously attacked by the non-believers, they were not spared, and they were the most afflicted, yet they held on and feared, and obeyed only Allah, because at the long-run, you should only fear Allah, and wear your hijab for Allah.

I have seen parents who want their daughters only to wear the hijab because to them it is a traditional symbol, and they are more concerned about what the “people would say”. Some of our parents aren’t the “best”, some of them are still trapped in their cultural realm, and mentally they have yet to escape it.

You seek Islamic knowledge and understanding on our own terms, and you become a practicing Muslim with the right intentions, and you have to make some sacrifices for Allah. You just don’t say I believe and expect the red-carpet which leads to paradise to be rolled right in front of your feet, no my friend, your feet will be cracked, bruised, bleeding, and aching by the time they reach paradise. And there you could get a new set of feet. I kid I kid.

I hope you see my point, take on the challenge and overcome your fears with patience. May Allah guide you down the righteous path.

Hope that helps.

 

[Snowflake]

asalam alaikum wr wb,

Sis Sadaf,

I understand what you're feeling. But what we feel isn't always right. I used to think it's ok not to wear hijab because I 'felt close to Allah' anyway. What I didn't realise is that if I loved Allah so much, I wouldn't openly disobey His commands. What kind of love was that? Think of it this way sis. You wear hijab when you're mother gets upsets because you love her, but not because Allah tells you to? Allah is your Creator. He comes first, then your parents. In the here-after we have to account only to Allah for the deeds we did in the duniya.

Hearing about what Allah commands from others has less impact than actually reading it with your own eyes in the Quran - because it is there in black and white and there is no room for doubt or denial. Read the following ayah inshaAllah.

Surah an-Nur ayah 31
"And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful."


That we are on the right deen, should be something we should be proud of, not ashamed. Our identity as muslims should be displayed, not removed. We are the Prophet's (PBUH) sis, we should uphold the deen which he made so many sacrifices for. It is not the kuffaar who you feel ashamed in front of who will help you on the Day. Be proud to wear hijab and in your uniqueness. And instead of others looking down on you they might actually admire you for being brave and proud of who you are. May Allah increase your imaan and ours. Ameen.


wa alaikum asalam wr wb.

 

[Sadafs]

Sadafs

Pakistan is a pretty decent country Alhamdul’illah

And I am sure you could live in Pakistan, it is not that chaotic, poor, or unlivable.

One thing I hate, and I can’t help it, maybe it is not hate but anger, is parents who come from decent Muslim nations and decide to bring their children to kafir countires and expect their children to live in a kafir nation, at a young age and be a perfect practicing Muslim.

I think it is the most cruel thing a parent could do to their child. And Muslim parents were told/warned not to bring their children to Non-Muslim nations, so I still don’t know why they continue to do so.

You should have never been in Switzerland to begin with.

You are ashamed of being a Muslim, and you are fearful of being rejected and ridiculed by non-Muslims.

I can only pray for you and hope that you get the strength needed to wear the hajib proudly. But there is nothing wrong with wearing the hajib, you should be different than those whose abode is the hell fire. In God’s eyes they are the loser, and as Muslims we are supposed to distinguish ourselves from those who openly and proudly disobey Allah. Don’t let them drag you down, if they wish to take the wrong path let them do so on their own, if they want to tease you and harass you, then let them do so, because the Prophets and Messengers of Allah walked alone, and where teases, harassed, and viciously attacked by the non-believers, they were not spared, and they were the most afflicted, yet they held on and feared, and obeyed only Allah, because at the long-run, you should only fear Allah, and wear your hijab for Allah.

I have seen parents who want their daughters only to wear the hijab because to them it is a traditional symbol, and they are more concerned about what the “people would say”. Some of our parents aren’t the “best”, some of them are still trapped in their cultural realm, and mentally they have yet to escape it.

You seek Islamic knowledge and understanding on our own terms, and you become a practicing Muslim with the right intentions, and you have to make some sacrifices for Allah. You just don’t say I believe and expect the red-carpet which leads to paradise to be rolled right in front of your feet, no my friend, your feet will be cracked, bruised, bleeding, and aching by the time they reach paradise. And there you could get a new set of feet. I kid I kid.

I hope you see my point, take on the challenge and overcome your fears with patience. May Allah guide you down the righteous path.

Hope that helps.

Thank you soo much friend, you helped me a lot... i'll take a decision soon inshallah, n anyways m nothing if Allah is not with me..... the only thing is that i work on weekends, i'll have to stop working coz removing my head scarf there would be weird.... n m not allowed to wear it....

but ur answer really helped me... u're right, if even our prophet Muhammad SAW was teased then we're nothing in front of him....

i can go back to pakistan but i've no future there.... n m starting medical this year, its my passion, my dream.... cant let it go... so i've to stay here....

thanx a lot.... May Allah bless you... Wassalam...

 

[Sadafs]

asalam alaikum wr wb,

Sis Sadaf,

I understand what you're feeling. But what we feel isn't always right. I used to think it's ok not to wear hijab because I 'felt close to Allah' anyway. What I didn't realise is that if I loved Allah so much, I wouldn't openly disobey His commands. What kind of love was that? Think of it this way sis. You wear hijab when you're mother gets upsets because you love her, but not because Allah tells you to? Allah is your Creator. He comes first, then your parents. In the here-after we have to account only to Allah for the deeds we did in the duniya.

Hearing about what Allah commands from others has less impact than actually reading it with your own eyes in the Quran - because it is there in black and white and there is no room for doubt or denial. Read the following ayah inshaAllah.

Surah an-Nur ayah 31
"And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful."


That we are on the right deen, should be something we should be proud of, not ashamed. Our identity as muslims should be displayed, not removed. We are the Prophet's (PBUH) sis, we should uphold the deen which he made so many sacrifices for. It is not the kuffaar who you feel ashamed in front of who will help you on the Day. Be proud to wear hijab and in your uniqueness. And instead of others looking down on you they might actually admire you for being brave and proud of who you are. May Allah increase your imaan and ours. Ameen.


wa alaikum asalam wr wb.

Dear friend,

thank u for replying... u're right, its not love if u dont do what Allah says.... n most of all its for our own benefit... then why disobey him.....

im just so weak, but i've to change really..... n i admit that even though i took scarf only bcz i was forced to take it, Allah has always been with me, i've succeeded in almost everything i wanted.... n he has blessed me a lot....

i will inshallah take a decision soon..... i really need time to think abt it... not to be fake again....

Thank u friend..... May Allah bless you..... Wassalam...

 

[BintAmjad]

I hope you are well.

I too live in the west, I live in England but alhamdulillah I wear my hijaab full time and I feel that I can do the majority of things that people who do not wear hijaab do. I just think that living in the west people start giving themselves excuses but really what are these excuses???? They are the whispers of shaytaan which unfortunately the majority of people give into. Islaam is an easy religion, the commands of Allah are clear but it only becomes difficult when people begin to make them difficult for themselves. Really my dear sister if your friends left you when you started wearing the hijaab ask yourself were these really your true friends??? True friends are not those who abandon you when they see a change in you, rather are those who stand by and support you. Maybe you should seek friends else where! As for your want and love with the profession medicine why can't you do medicine wearing hijaab. Here in the UK there are plenty of sisters that have done medicine or related subjects such as midwifery wearing the full hijaab. I think maybe though it may not seem like such an easy task you should think of moving else where so you can continue your profession wearing the hijaab. Believe me sister once you start wearing your full hijaab i.e abaya as well as the scarf and purifying your intention as to why you are wearing it, Allah subhanawata'la will make it sooo easy for you.

My dear sister I pray to Allah to make it easy for you and help you to see the true beauty and benefits of wearing the hijaab as they are endless

Aameen

I hope this helps