What are your thoughts on the Mahr?

[Ajami]

Asalaamu aleikum brothers and sisters in Islam,

From my own personal experience in looking for a spouse, I have come across various opinions on the amount of the mahr. Now I realize some of the opinions vary tremendously, to the point where some find even the question about the mahr to be insulting, but it is a part of our religion and I wanted to get a sense of feeling from the community about what they think is a reasonable amount. To do this, I am asking not in actual amounts but in percentages of the man's savings. I wrote a three question, multiple choice survey that takes less than 30 seconds to complete. I know that the methodology could be improved upon and that this can't capture everyone's thoughts, but it can give an idea of what we may prefer. I think seeing the results might be beneficial to us all.

Would you all please take a brief moment to fill it out? I will update you all with the results as soon as I get at least 100 responses or next week, which ever comes sooner. Here is the link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6G5MRSC

JazakumAllahu khaeiran!

 

[talibilm]

This is an VERY important thread IMHO since though most of us do not turn our attention to this but this is a ROOT CAUSE of fitnas.

We came to know Many ME people visit Sub continent since they could not afford the high mahr in Saudi,ME or else where .

Even Thailand where i reside some muslims ask for high mahr as and take it as a Pride issue of the family that delays many marriages that consequently lead to the main fitnas of zina etc getting pregnant before marriage etc which is really a trick of Shaitan for the present even 'pious' Muslims.

The girl must not place a burden on the groom more than his affordability though she has the right to demand Mahr at her will which is a requisite for any valid nikkah - marriage. The more easy the marriage is , Allah blesses with more Barakah,prosperity is what is known from hadith. and I do faintly remember some hadith did say about high Mahr and consequent zinas in the last days . Allah knows the best.

 

[Ümit]

I do not think Mahr can be put in percentages of a mans savings. It is something the bride must decide what amount of Mahr she desires form the groom.
If she has high standards, she will ask more.
Of course she should consider whether the groom can afford it or not...and she should not ask more than that...No one wins if the bride demands a ridiculous amount of mahr of course.

Just talk to each other what you can afford and what she desires and coe to a compromis.
bargaining about it is OK .

 

[sister herb]

We had discussion about mahr few weeks ago. There is some good information about this matter:

https://www.islamicboard.com/genera...t-converts-require-street.html?highlight=mahr

 

[Supernova]

Asalaamu aleikum brothers and sisters in Islam,

From my own personal experience in looking for a spouse, I have come across various opinions on the amount of the mahr. Now I realize some of the opinions vary tremendously, to the point where some find even the question about the mahr to be insulting, but it is a part of our religion and I wanted to get a sense of feeling from the community about what they think is a reasonable amount. To do this, I am asking not in actual amounts but in percentages of the man's savings. I wrote a three question, multiple choice survey that takes less than 30 seconds to complete. I know that the methodology could be improved upon and that this can't capture everyone's thoughts, but it can give an idea of what we may prefer. I think seeing the results might be beneficial to us all.

Would you all please take a brief moment to fill it out? I will update you all with the results as soon as I get at least 100 responses or next week, which ever comes sooner. Here is the link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6G5MRSC

JazakumAllahu khaeiran!

Dear brother in Islam - The Mahr is not based on a mans savings neither his current earnings. You are misleading Muslims into the incorrect understanding of Mahr by the very survey itself. I think you should retract the post.

Consider the fact that when Rasool SAW agreed to the proposal of Hz Ali to his very own daughter - neither did he ask what Hz Alis earnings nor savings were. A value was just stipulated.

Your survey is misleading people into thinking that the Brides side has legal transparency into the prospective Grooms earnings and savings. The truth of the matter is that she or her family has neither of that right nor is he obligated to disclose that information unless done willingly

If this was case then it will lead to great fitna whereby the prospective grooms lies about his income or savings just to save on an astronomical Mahr. On the flip side it will encourage prospective brides into elaborate sums of Mahr which in turn will make Nikah into a difficult deed.

Please contact a scholar to understand why I suggested the removal of your survey - so they can impart greater wisdom and clarity.

Wasalaam.

 

[Ajami]

Asalaamu Aleikum,


Thanks to all who took the poll. It has been more than a week and I just wanted to update you on the results. Masha'Allah, I have to say that the conclusions are encouraging. Respondents support keeping the Mahr lower but ensuring any differences are resolved with their prospective spouses, even if this is difficult. As far as the actual data goes, the respondents were mostly a mix of Western Europeans, North Americans, and Middle Easterners. The clear majority of respondents (almost three quarters) believe the value of the amount that a man gives as a Mahr to his bride should be no more than 20 % of his savings. More than half of this group, and 42 % of the total number of respondents, believe that the Mahr amount should actually be worth less than 10 % of the man's savings (good news for guys seeking marriage). Roughly the same amount of respondents also agreed with the statement that if the bride and groom cannot quickly agree on the Mahr amount, that the two should continue to discuss and try to reach a mutually agreed upon amount, even if it is difficult to do so. More detailed data points as follows:


>There were 51 respondents, of which 15 were from Western Europe, 14 from North America, 10 from the Middle East and North Africa, 6 were from East Asia, 3 from Central or South Asia, 2 from Australia, New Zealand, and the Pacific Islands, and one from Eastern Europe.


>42 % of respondents answered that less than 10 % of his savings was a most reasonable amount of money to devote to the mahr. 30% of the respondents believed 10-20% was most reasonable, followed by 16 % of respondents who stated 20-30% was most reasonable. There were a few others than said higher, to include two respondents who said more than 50% of a man's saving was a reasonable amount to devote towards the mahr.


>37 respondents, or 73% of the total number of respondents, agreed with the statement that if the couple cannot quickly agree on a mahr amount, they should continue to discuss the mahr and try to reach a mutually agreed upon amount, even if this is difficult.


As for the objections to the poll, its questions, underlying assumptions and/or misconceptions, etc., I'll just say this. The purpose of the poll is not to discern nor debate the finer points of Islamic scholarship on the issue. Rather, it is meant to simply capture how Muslims tend to view a key element of the process as its actually performed by many Muslims in real life. Insha'Allah you will get some value from it.

 

[talibilm]

Different types of mahar


Bukhari :: Book 7 :: Volume 72 :: Hadith 760

Narrated Sahl:
A woman came to the Prophet and said, "I have come to present myself to you (for marriage)." She kept standing for a long period during which period the Prophet looked at her carefully. When she stayed for a Long period, a man said to the Prophet "If you are not in need of her, then marry her to me." The Prophet said, "Have you got anything to give her (as mahrhr)?" The man said, "No." The Prophet said, "Go (to your house) and search for something." The man went and came back to say, "By Allah, I could not find anything." The Prophet said, "Go again and search for something, even if it be an iron ring." He went again and came back saying, "No, by Allah, I could not get even an iron ring." The man had only an Izar and had no Rida' (upper garment). He said, "I will give her my Izar as Maharhr." On that the Prophet said, "Your Izar? If she wears it, nothing of it will remain on you, and if you wear it nothing of it will be on her" The man went aside and sat down When the Prophet saw him leaving (after a while), he called back and asked. "How much Qur'an do you know (by heart)? He said, 'I know such and such Suras," naming some Suras. The Prophet said, "I marry her to you for the amount of Qur'an you know (by heart)."


Even Moses (pbuh) accepted to his father in law for 7 years as a Mahar since he did have a single penny .