What can I do?

[Pretty_najm]

Asalamu Alaikum

I am in a tricky situation. I feel Allah(SWT) has given me something, but everyone else thinks its ALL wrong. See, I have fallen inlove with a brother, who is a new muslim(as of June). He had a bad repuation while he wasnt muslim and now wants to do things over and start right. He and I want to get married, but my family is saying no, especially my mom and step-father. I really love this brother and I really feel Allah sent him to me and that all the negativity we are facing is a test from Allah. Ive prayed to Allah to send me someone whom I want and someone He knows I need, and Ive been patient. I really really believe this brother is for me...but I dont know what to do. Im trying to be patient and wait...InshaAllah I will make Istikarah and beg Allah for help and guidance.

But I really woould like some feedback from you all

JazakAllah,

peace.

 

[Quruxbadaan]

Asalaamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi sista

yes i think the best thing i could tell you is to be patient Allah knows best and he is the best of planners

make dua that this happens the way you want it too

dont let people make decisions for you...make your own this guy is a new muslim and his past sins are forgiven so look at it that way and try hard to be patient

May allah make this situation bettter for you

 

[Looking4Peace]

I think you know whats right, but just be careful its only been 2 months, he couldnt of totally straightened up this fast, and depending what his past included, if it was really bad hes gonna need more of 2 months of practicing to be a really good Muslim, take it from me as a revert, even though my past wasnt bad, still to make those changes it took hard work and more then 2 months and i still need improvement in certain aspects, in my opinion he should focus on practicing Islam a little longer before he marries.

 

[Tania]

I think you know whats right, but just be careful its only been 2 months, he couldnt of totally straightened up this fast, and depending what his past included, if it was really bad hes gonna need more of 2 months of practicing to be a really good Muslim, take it from me as a revert, even though my past wasnt bad, still to make those changes it took hard work and more then 2 months and i still need improvement in certain aspects, in my opinion he should focus on practicing Islam a little longer before he marries.

I think exactly this is the reason for which your parents are not really glad with your decision. Its too soon for him to say he gave up at his old habits and there is a x% chance to go back at his life style.

 

[anonymous]

Greetings Sister in Islaam,
I think you should,
A) Make sure he's the 'right one'. Don't try to convince your parents but convince yourself first. Look into him properly and ensure he has all the characteristics that you want for a future spouse. Don't rush into things! By all means people can change, Subhana'Allaah look how many people reverted during the Prophet Muhammed [Peace and blessings be upon him and his family]'s time but you need to be certain that he is good in the deen. Surley a person excellent in the deen is the best spouse.
B) If he's passed all the above checklist then talk to your parents. Explain to them what he means to you. Don't go in shouting with emotions running wild, sit down peacefully and say to them how your at an age you can get married and you like him and you are seeking their consent. Make sure you point out how it is possible for people to revert to the straight path as did the companions of RasulAllaah.
C) Peform Istikhaaraa and seek Allaah subhanaa wa'talaa's guidence and blessing. Postrate to your Lord and attain His blessing and await a sign Insha'Allaah
I hope that helps Sister in Islam. I wish you all the best!

 

[thc]

asalamu alaikum waramatullhi wabaraktuhu,

Perform istikhaara.

If the istikhaara indicates that you shoul marry him then i think you should let your partents know the istikhhara outcome.

 

[limitless]

I think your parents are doing correctly. No offense, he just recently reverted and like the sister said, no one changes that quickly and take it from me. I was a born muslim brother I do pray five salahs and changed some of my habbits but certain habbits are still there in me and I try to change them but it is hard to become a practising muslim brother so suddenly, it takes time, like it takes time to lose weight. Your thinking and seeing things with your emotions not logically. Even the praying and etc.... and believe me I have gone through that phase and now I feel so stupid to even do such things. If you really are insisting on marrying him, I highly recommand you wait ninety-days (three months) and then see if he improved or not just still at the phase of attempting to improve... .

Remeber do not let emotions control you, but you control them regardless of the individual, the circumstance, human emotions lead them to traps that are setup by shaiytaan. And of course the ishtkarraa as well counts. I highly recommand you wait ninety days and see his improvements.

Sorry if I offended you sister, but I wasn't trying to, By reading what you typed, it reminded my old self and believe me it is very stressful just wait and see if he improves and then...yeah lol, but first give him time, regardless of what is he now and how you both feel for each other.

 

[Annie]

salams
all i can advise you is to be patient and pray istikhar to see if this person is the right person for you. Also give your parents time to see the good side of this person, just put yourself in your parents shoes, your parents just want the best for you.
wasslam