What do you do when you find yourself failing in every aspect of you life?

[Muslim Woman]

submitting the post upon request :





What do you do when you find yourself failing in every aspect of you life? and deep down in a rotten hole full of despair and regret longing for death.

I would never kill myself but I hate my life and I know that if Allah swt were to take my life I would probably go to hell. Having said that I have undermined his rahma, mercy. I am stuck and wondering that maybe perhaps I have psychological issues because this negative aspect of my life has consumed me and I am secretly failing my second last year of high school and am praying that I just die so it's all over. I do not want to go to hell ever but also I do not like this life.

When I was younger I mashallah was better, islamically. My friends and family would still think the same and because of this I wonder am I a hypocrite? Am I deceptive? I preserve hijab covered from head to toe.

 

[greenhill]

I say that it is way too early to say or even come to a conclusion about your life. At high school only. That alone does not define your future as you still have to go through it and a long way to go still.About being a hypocrite, you are still learning. Just keep being on the right path (to Allah) .eace:

 

[Karl]

Yeah high school can drive anybody nuts, except the intellectual nerds who actually enjoy it. But hey you are a woman so why worry? Just get yourself a husband and settle down and have children. That's what most non academic females do Muslim or not. Schooling is a very unnatural thing to do, it's like a part time prison. Do you feel like a brick in the wall, being groomed into slavery to the System? Well that's because you are.

 

[uglyman]

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I am secretly failing my second last year of high school and am praying that I just die so it's all over. I do not want to go to hell ever but also I do not like this life.

Salaam Sister I think you make the wrong conclusion regarding how you life needs to be look like on a certain point in your life please what I have learned in my life is that when you stay focussed on your religion nobody can bring you down. Allah grant this attribute to someone that is steadfast even in the most critical time of his or her life I will give you an example.

When I was in high school classmates would always make nasty comments about my physical appearance due to the fact that I was not a handsome guy and even teachers to took their part to humiliate me in front of all my classmates. When I had such a day I would go home pray my salaat and I never asked Allah for assistance by making Dua. But Allah sees and hears everything and one day someone in my class wanted to hurt my feelings and was starting to incite other classmate to join him to humiliate me for no other reason than being physically unattractive. When he was calling all kinds of names the teacher stood up and attacked this classmate with such a force that he literally began to shiver.

That day was so bright and when I came home my mother told me why I was laughing and I told her (as a 14 year old kid) that I am grateful due to my salaat. And my mother told me yes indeed salaat makes everybody beautiful. I think she knew deep in her heart that I encountered hardship but she never asked me about it she only made sure that I would keep up with my salaat. And I think she did the right thing looking back at the age of 38 and I can only be grateful I never skipped my salaat when I was in high school that would have ruined my life for ever. Reciting Surat al-Fatiḥah is the medicine and only salaat makes it sure you take your medicine on a daily basis.

 

[BeTheChange]

Walaikumasalaam

Some VERY powerful words for you in sha Allah. If you act upon this advice in sha Allah, with the permission of Allah swa you will be able to move on to a more positive mind-set.

The only power your past has is the power YOU give it. The power that YOU as an individual decide to give it. The only reason you would think about your past is to remind yourself about your sin and to ask for forgiveness, to use your past for present or future situations, to share you past (bad experience) to assist others etc. Concentrate on the present and it is just that a present and a gift from Allah swa.

I think you need to sit down and try and IDENTIFY what is making you unhappy. What is making you depressed & try and tackle these issues one by one.

You have mentioned you are failing in your second year. Are you struggling in a particular subject? Is it your friends? Your teachers?

If you are struggling with academic subjects - am not a teacher but am happy to help you if you want? If you wish to prepare the best way to prepare is to look at past academic exam papers and use those to revise etc.

There's a cliche which goes like this: - life is what you make it! I know we are all faced with different problems & sometimes obstacles but if you have a positive mind-set this will give you hope and determination to carry on.

As the poster above has mentioned, you can concentrate on your relationship with Allah swa. This life is temporary and whether we're feeling sad, happy, depressed, lost, stable etc we will all enter the next life. Try and think about where you are in life atm (spiritually) and ask yourself will Allah swa be pleased with me? And if the answer is no write down an action plan on things you need to do to turn the answer to yes.

Ramadan's soon approaching this is a PERECT opportunity. I wish you well!

 

[BeTheChange]

Also one more thing who's criteria of failure and success are you using to examine yourself?


If you are using the dunya's version i.e. lots of money, nice house, nice car etc then this is not the way of life we as Muslims should aspire to.


If you are using Islam then you need to have the will power, show perseverance, be steadfast and show patience in your situation. Everything happens for a reason. That reason may be known to us or if not, will come apparent in the next life. The good may be bad for us and the bad may be good for us. Accept Allah swa version of a blessing and not yours.


Imagine you had everything and 'success' and you were away from the religion of Islam. This would be no good for your state of affairs in the next life. Whatever happens, Allah swa is the controller and the giver. We should put our trust in Allah swa and be content with our situation.