What do you do when you're angry :O ?

[cat eyes]

salaam alaikum

as far my knowledge goes, the above verse was revealed in response to ayyash who was abu jahl's relative, he accompanied umar in hijrah but abu jahl went to medina and made up a story, so he came back to mecca, and he was put under trial and he gave up islam

so umar wrote these ayaats and sent to ayyash thinking it might convince him to become a muslim again with allahs help

yes Allah is most forgiving of all sins except major shirk well of course unless they repent they might be saved.

see my thread in general i made

 

[sister herb]

It depends on the context though usually shouting followed by brooding/staying away from people.

Let us know who voted this option that so we can avoid angering you. :uuh:

I was one of those who voted it. ;D Better to avoid angering me, ok?

 

[glo]

There was never an angry man that thought
his anger unjust.
-- St. Francis De Sales.

Anger is what makes a clear mind seem
clouded.
-- Kazi Shams.

It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.


The angry people are those people who are most afraid


Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more
hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.
-- Seneca.


Speak when you are angry and you will make
the best speech you will ever regret.
-- Ambrose Bierce.

Consider how much more you often suffer
from your anger and grief, than from those
very things for which you are angry and
grieved.
-- Marcus Antonius.


How much more grievous are the
consequences of anger than the causes of it.
-- Marcus Aurelius.

Mahatma Gandhi

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

• Martin Luther King
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude."

In the spirit of striving to forgive

Eric

Those are very thought-provoking and powerful, Eric. Thanks for sharing!

 

[marwen]

Peace and blessing upon you Eric.
The quotes you posted are really wonderful sayings about anger. Thanks for sharing.
I really liked this one especially:

Speak when you are angry and you will make
the best speech you will ever regret.
-- Ambrose Bierce.

all the best.

 

[Snowflake]

yes i know how u feel. dealing with trolls is difficult. u just want to kick there a ss

Uh tell me about it! But have you noticed that with some people you get better results if your angry? It's as if they don't like to be told nicely and they think you're a wimp. But when they see your fury they respect you? That's like really messed up.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you marwen and glo, thanks for your kind words, I can relate to most of those quotes, and they stay in my mind.

Anger is a most destructive force, because if we are feeling angry, it forces us to react in ways we may later regret. I have two personal stories one is really trivial, however if I had not understood about anger in a trivial way, I would not have understood how it could make the difference between life and death, in my second experience.

Years ago I was a window cleaner, a lady asked me to clean her windows, and could I come back Friday for the money. I called back and she said, sorry but could you call back again next Friday. This went on for several months, one day I called and she was unloading a car full of shopping, she was almost laughing when she said, she had spent all her money. I frequently used to go home after, and be angry with my wife and children through no fault of theirs.

As time went by it seemed she was playing games, and I started feeling more angry, I thought of slashing her car tyres, or super gluing her door locks, because of the injustice. I can’t recall exactly how I changed, but on the way to her house I had a change of heart, and said to myself, if she needs the money more than I do, then I will cancel her debt and forgive her totally.

The moment I said this to myself, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted, and my anger disappeared. Afterwards I had time to reflect, it had taken me about a quarter of an hour to clean her windows, but I had wasted numerous hours chasing after fifteen minutes work. It did not stop there; I had spent hours of my time feeling angry, and the need to take some kind of action. I had made my wife and kids miserable, through no fault of their own.

All the time I spent with feelings of anger, that woman controlled my thoughts, and she did not know it. All this because I was not able to forgive; but rather preferred to live in anger as a matter of principle. I often saw the woman again and said hello to her, but I never asked her for the money again, I had fully written of the debt and forgiven her

Ghandi said it is only the strong who can forgive, the weak hold onto their anger. I have to say that after forgiving this woman I was now in control of my own mind and did not have any feelings of hate towards her again. Many years have passed, and I am so thankful this lady taught me how to forgive.



The second instance came about, after I had been cleaning an old ladies windows for a couple of years. It took longer to have a drink and a chat with her than it did to clean her windows. One day I called on her and she said, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else. I thought it was going to be a bit of gossip and said yes.

She said she had just started to take some pills earlier in the day, and she was going to end her life. I talked with her and listened to her story.

She had worked very hard during her life, her husband ran of with another woman and took most of her money, her children had used her and left her. Her business partner had run off with her share of the money. Despite that she still managed to have a large house, and a comfortable life money wise.

Her life story was one of injustice and suffering, and she had just suffered one more injustice days ago, in the way someone close to her had died, She was angry at the person who had caused the death, even though it was possibly an accident, she now had nothing to live for.

We talked for a couple of hours and the thing that seemed to make a difference to her was when I said death is not a problem we all die; but do you want to spend your final time on this Earth a bitter, twisted and angry woman; somehow you have to find it in your heart to forgive this man.

Just before I left I said it is pointless coming back next month to clean your windows, she said come back.

I called the following month and her kitchen had been decorated, she was planning to change the garden around, it was as if nothing had happened and she never mentioned again about giving up on life.

If I had never experienced the power to forgive in the first trivial way, I would not have understood how to help this lady.

Injustice happens, and in many cases we may never see justice served. If we cannot forgive, then our anger burns away inside us, our thoughts are consumed by evil thoughts, and the person we are angry with, controls our mind all the time we are feeling angry.


If we do wrong then maybe it is our duty to try and ask for forgiveness so that the person we have offended will not store up all this anger in his heart.

In the spirit of striving to forgive.

Eric

 

[Danah]

^ Thanks for sharing your experience Eric!

It just reminded me of the the Prophet (peace be upon him) when he said: "The strong man is not the good wrestler, but the strong man is he who controls himself when he is angry"

 

[marwen]

Greetings and peace be with you marwen and glo, thanks for your kind words, I can relate to most of those quotes, and they stay in my mind.

Anger is a most destructive force, because if we are feeling angry, it forces us to react in ways we may later regret. I have two personal stories one is really trivial, however if I had not understood about anger in a trivial way, I would not have understood how it could make the difference between life and death, in my second experience.

Years ago I was a window cleaner, a lady asked me to clean her windows, and could I come back Friday for the money. I called back and she said, sorry but could you call back again next Friday. This went on for several months, one day I called and she was unloading a car full of shopping, she was almost laughing when she said, she had spent all her money. I frequently used to go home after, and be angry with my wife and children through no fault of theirs.

As time went by it seemed she was playing games, and I started feeling more angry, I thought of slashing her car tyres, or super gluing her door locks, because of the injustice. I can’t recall exactly how I changed, but on the way to her house I had a change of heart, and said to myself, if she needs the money more than I do, then I will cancel her debt and forgive her totally.

The moment I said this to myself, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted, and my anger disappeared. Afterwards I had time to reflect, it had taken me about a quarter of an hour to clean her windows, but I had wasted numerous hours chasing after fifteen minutes work. It did not stop there; I had spent hours of my time feeling angry, and the need to take some kind of action. I had made my wife and kids miserable, through no fault of their own.

All the time I spent with feelings of anger, that woman controlled my thoughts, and she did not know it. All this because I was not able to forgive; but rather preferred to live in anger as a matter of principle. I often saw the woman again and said hello to her, but I never asked her for the money again, I had fully written of the debt and forgiven her

Ghandi said it is only the strong who can forgive, the weak hold onto their anger. I have to say that after forgiving this woman I was now in control of my own mind and did not have any feelings of hate towards her again. Many years have passed, and I am so thankful this lady taught me how to forgive.



The second instance came about, after I had been cleaning an old ladies windows for a couple of years. It took longer to have a drink and a chat with her than it did to clean her windows. One day I called on her and she said, if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell anyone else. I thought it was going to be a bit of gossip and said yes.

She said she had just started to take some pills earlier in the day, and she was going to end her life. I talked with her and listened to her story.

She had worked very hard during her life, her husband ran of with another woman and took most of her money, her children had used her and left her. Her business partner had run off with her share of the money. Despite that she still managed to have a large house, and a comfortable life money wise.

Her life story was one of injustice and suffering, and she had just suffered one more injustice days ago, in the way someone close to her had died, She was angry at the person who had caused the death, even though it was possibly an accident, she now had nothing to live for.

We talked for a couple of hours and the thing that seemed to make a difference to her was when I said death is not a problem we all die; but do you want to spend your final time on this Earth a bitter, twisted and angry woman; somehow you have to find it in your heart to forgive this man.

Just before I left I said it is pointless coming back next month to clean your windows, she said come back.

I called the following month and her kitchen had been decorated, she was planning to change the garden around, it was as if nothing had happened and she never mentioned again about giving up on life.

If I had never experienced the power to forgive in the first trivial way, I would not have understood how to help this lady.

Injustice happens, and in many cases we may never see justice served. If we cannot forgive, then our anger burns away inside us, our thoughts are consumed by evil thoughts, and the person we are angry with, controls our mind all the time we are feeling angry.


If we do wrong then maybe it is our duty to try and ask for forgiveness so that the person we have offended will not store up all this anger in his heart.

In the spirit of striving to forgive.

Eric

^ These are tow wonderful stories, Eric. Thanks for sharing. There is a great lesson we can learn there.
And let me tell you, I think you're a great man because you found the strength to forgive when you are unjustly hurt.
God bless you and your family.

All the best.

 

[Samiun]

, at times I would just like to raise my hands and smack that fellow that insulted my religion in the face. That's not the case though, I would be sarcastic towards the one who is insulting me or just walk away.

 

[Woodrow]

Perhaps each person should examine what they do when angry and ask themselves 'what is the result they wish to have result from their action?".

If their action does not get them the result they desire, why do they continue repeating it?

Seems to touch on insanity to keep repeating the same thing and expect a different result.

 

[Haya emaan]

anger can only spoil our work...

but still its very hard to control it...imsad

 

[Salahudeen]

Perhaps each person should examine what they do when angry and ask themselves 'what is the result they wish to have result from their action?".

If their action does not get them the result they desire, why do they continue repeating it?

Seems to touch on insanity to keep repeating the same thing and expect a different result.

The result I want is, to get it out my system and just forget about it. And it feels I can't get it out by sitting down calmly and thinking because it keeps going over in my mind, that's why I resort to doing something that gets me out of breath like hitting something over and over again. Not a person of course lol

 

[Neelofar]

Salaamz

I feel thorougly ashamed to admit this, but before i just used to lash out whenever i got angry and i just used to say everything and anything that came into my head without even thinking! I then learnt that this pleased shaytaan and our Prophet S.A.W strongly advised against becoming angryyy..so now i try to shut up, and i don't say anything when i'm angry because i know later i'll regret it and that i didn't really mean it

Note To Self: Someone, somewhere is feeling the repercussions of what you said to them & we should always try and make sure that we leave people with positive feelings [i was at a muslim young people's conference yesterday and a speaker called Gill Hicks said tht ]

 

[Bintulislam]

Excellently put Eric.Thank you very much.

 

[Neelofar]

AaaRgHh! i am so angry right now i feel like screaming at my mum!! i wanted to go to the library with my sister, and my mum borrowed a scarf 4rm my sister and i wanted to wear that scarf right now, my mum dusnt know where she put it and is making no attempts at all to try and help me find it! and whenever she wants something ans she can't find it she always makes us look for it when we're not even the ones who have lost it and she gets all angry and starts swearing at us! i feel like breaking something but i'm jus staying away 4rm her because i don't want to get into an argument with her. She better find that scarf, it's the only good one i have!

 

[glo]

AaaRgHh! i am so angry right now i feel like screaming at my mum!! i wanted to go to the library with my sister, and my mum borrowed a scarf 4rm my sister and i wanted to wear that scarf right now, my mum dusnt know where she put it and is making no attempts at all to try and help me find it! and whenever she wants something ans she can't find it she always makes us look for it when we're not even the ones who have lost it and she gets all angry and starts swearing at us! i feel like breaking something but i'm jus staying away 4rm her because i don't want to get into an argument with her. She better find that scarf, it's the only good one i have!

Greetings, Neelofar

This might be a good situation to reflect on.
Now, and hour later (or whenever you read this post), does it still seem so important to you?
Was it worth feeling so angry about?

How did you solve the situation?
I.e. did you stay at home or did you use another scarf or did your mum eventually look for it and find it or did you find it yourself?

Whatever you did, I hope you and your mum both calmed down and made up again - and that you managed to go to the library in the end!

 

[Ansariyah]

Honestly

When I get angry n it takes a whole lot of crap to get me over the edge. Thats it, I just like to get things off my chest right away, even if the person doesnt want to hear it I'll just say it. When I'm done gettin things off my chest I will exit the door, keep to myself. Show the person that I don't want to speak to them...Start my ignoring session:embarrass doesnt usually last long.

I can easily switch from anger to bein alright.

I think at home its so easy to make up cause we all are close, like my sisters when we fight big time, Things to say to break the Ice are: 'Are u gonna come pray, its prayer time'? 'wheres my brush'? n soon we're laughing again.

 

[Haya emaan]

yeah u r right sis..
and even at home anger doesn't lasts for long... no matter how big the fight was...
just put out all what is inside in front of siblings or mother and then forget what happened few moments before

 

[marwen]

^ it's a good quality to not keep the grudge for long.

 

[Snowflake]

Eric: This went on for several months, one day I called and she was unloading a car full of shopping, she was almost laughing when she said, she had spent all her money. I frequently used to go home after, and be angry with my wife and children through no fault of theirs.

As time went by it seemed she was playing games, and I started feeling more angry, I thought of slashing her car tyres, or super gluing her door locks, because of the injustice. I can’t recall exactly how I changed, but on the way to her house I had a change of heart, and said to myself, if she needs the money more than I do, then I will cancel her debt and forgive her totally.


Many years have passed, and I am so thankful this lady taught me how to forgive.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and I respect the honesty you shared them with.


I also found something so beautiful in them, I'd like to share my thoughts. I know we often feel gratitude towards people who seem to help us in one way or another, but really it is that God who is helping us. God did not let your months of patience with this woman go in vain. When that day you finally snapped and was about to undo all your good work, God stopped that happening by giving you a change of heart. The lady was unaware had no hand in it at all. Praise be to Allah, who does not do bad for anyone.