What do you think about Polygamy?

[Intisar]

as-salamu alaykum

not a personal attack on anyone but quite surprised to see lots of comments from sisters something like "I know it is halal and all that but I personally do not want it" --- just subhaanAllah. Keeping aside the issue of mistreatment, etc. how can you not like something or not want it which Allah has made permissible?

He made it permissible, but it does not stipulate anywhere in the Quran that a believing woman MUST be apart of a polygamous marriage.

Do you think Allah revealed it without considering your women nature? Do you think the sahabiyyaat (may Allah be pleased with them) and those who followed their footsteps would say such a thing?

Which is why it isn't compulsory...

Why didn't the mothers of the believers think of this despite the fact they knew the financial position of the Prophet (sal-allahu alayhi wa sallam)?

Actually, our mother 'Aisha (RA) had quite the jealous streak. You might wanna read up on that. She actually used to compete with the other wives, even though she was quite obviously the most loved.

And we find many similar examples when we dig the history of the Salaf. What if you cannot find a righteous single brother or the type of brother you are looking for? Would you then prefer to be alone and may commit sins over marrying a married brother?

Why are you getting personal? If a person does not get married...not even a person, if a sister does not get married why do you automatically assume that she will commit sins? Why are you making it out to be an ultimatum? Commit sins, or marry an already married brother.

1) Polygyny is not a right, it is a privilege. Allaah allowed it, he made it permissible but he did not make it incumbent upon believing men to marry them and believing women to oblige.

2) Marriage is sunnah, it's not obligatory either.

To the married sisters, what is big fuss about not sharing your husband with another sister. Why are you so selfish? Is following Islam and the footsteps of the sahabiyyat (may Allah be pleased with them) only a lip service? If you have a nice, loving, caring, righteous husband, why would you not want to share with another sister so that she can also benefit from him?

...

It is permissible.

Don't see why people do it though, considering there are many unmarried, practicing brothers.

 

[جوري]

^^ great post..

I really don't like the implications that single folks will fornicate, commit sin or that every single woman is a weak poor thing, or will starve and needs to be taken care or must be **** ugly or loosely moraled and awaits the day some gallant knight in a shinning armor even if he is completely unsuitable for her or has another wife to come save the day. Believe it or not, some sisters are far better educated and more religious than the men who proposition them and they are too refined to go advertise themselves. They end up 'alone' because to marry would be to go a lesser place than where they actually started from.

I have one aunt who during her entire marriage supported her husband, had a better education than him as well even the house they live in, she purchased from her own money.. sob7an Allah, even though my uncle (her husband) is a great guy, I know she could have done a million times better if she didn't feel she was getting on in years and had a desperate need for motherhood (and although I totally digress to mention this) but sob7an Allah, she lost three of her sons in childbirth and ended in the ICU herself because the doctor left a for foreign object in her during her c/section.

We are tried in many ways, and we make sacrifices and may even be tried for the reasons we have made sacrifices, but it isn't up to anyone to sit there and question people's motives or reasons for not accepting or accepting a marriage or to pass judgment on them and further alienate them .. you should grant pardon to people if you want to be pardoned during your difficult hours..

and Allah swt knows best

 

[Rebel]

Sister Rebel, what did you mean when you said"Islam is easier than you think mate"
Do you really think that God created you so life is easy on you??

And after checking yours and Yanooras posts, you two seem to be on the females side always!!!!
I know that one of you is a student of Islam and I have never disrespected a student by intention. I'm just worried about you two.

I kind of angers me for some reason.

With love

This is funny Sister, eh?

If you checked my posts properly, you'd realise I'm not always on women's side. I side by what I believe is right. I don't give a crap if the person being wronged was a man or a woman.

No need to worry about me, I'm perfectly fine... thanks for your concern.

If my posts anger you then so be it. It was never my intention to please anyone with my posts... I couldn't care less how people react to them.

And I apologise, that came out wrong. I meant that Islam isn't as complicated as some people make it out to be.

 

[Rasema]

This is funny Sister, eh?

If you checked my posts properly, you'd realise I'm not always on women's side. I side by what I believe is right. I don't give a crap if the person being wronged was a man or a woman.

No need to worry about me, I'm perfectly fine... thanks for your concern.

If my posts anger you then so be it. It was never my intention to please anyone with my posts... I couldn't care less how people react to them.

And I apologise, that came out wrong. I meant that Islam isn't as complicated as some people make it out to be.

Sorry about my misconception. I thaught, for a moment, that you think with your gender rather than brain. Islam gives her all the right to marry this brother. Aldough,as you know, she doesn't have to worry about much but the husband does. It's not that your posts anger me. I just don't like feminists.' Women's righs conflict with Islam, in my opinion.

 

[Rebel]

Islam gives her the right to marry him but it doesn't give her the right to have a premarital relationship with him and encourage him to cheat on his wife... which is exactly what this woman is doing.

I'm not the one who isn't thinking with his brain here.

Women's righs conflict with Islam

In what way?

BTW, I'm a brother.

 

[Rasema]

Islam gives her the right to marry him but it doesn't give her the right to have a premarital relationship with him and encourage him to cheat on his wife... which is exactly what this woman is doing.

I'm not the one who isn't thinking with his brain here.


In what way?

BTW, I'm a brother.

Brother/sister, you don't know the brother. He might be pious.

If the sister wants to marry him or likes this person then in some way she would have to get in contact with him. It doesn't mean that she is encouraging him to cheat on his wife.

I think that it's all about intention. I would like to know the intention of this brother, to why he wants to get married again.
Maybe his wife can't have children, you never know.

In waht way does feminism interfear with Islam?
It depends of which were speaking about. If it is the rights Islam gives to woman ,then, of course, it doesn't. I just think it does in a different way. For example, I thinK that Islam teaches woman to stay home,in the kitchen,yes.

Do you agree to this?

 

[Rebel]

Pious men don't cheat on their wives. Full stop.

For example, I thinK that Islam teaches woman to stay home,in the kitchen,yes.

Oh, it does? Seriously, what version of Islam are you following?

First of all, according to Islamic teachings, it is not a legal obligation of a wife to cook the meals or take care of the house, and if a woman chooses to refuse to undertake such work, the husband cannot compel her to do so.

...

In short, a wife is not legally bound to render the household services, however, it is advisable that she performs these functions as a means of cooperation with her family and an honorary service to the society as a whole, for which she deserves great reward in the Hereafter.

At the same time, the husband should always remember that the housework undertaken by his wife is not a legal duty obliged on her; rather, it is a voluntary service she is rendering for the benefit of the family. Therefore, a husband must always appreciate the goodwill of his wife and should not treat it as a legal claim against her. Moreover, he should not leave all the housework to her alone. The husband should provide her with servants wherever possible, and should himself assist her in performing these functions. It is reported in a number of authentic hadiths that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), despite his great responsibilities, used to render many domestic services with his own hands, like milking goats and washing his clothes. We do not find anywhere in his Sunnah that he ever ordered any of his wives to do such work. However, his noble wives used to do these services voluntarily without any specific command from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...nglish-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaEAskTheScholar

Don't confuse backward cultural practices with Islam.

You're very rude, BTW, do you realise that? Did you read the last line of my previous post?

 

[S_87]

yes sister
she doesnt know.

Then think about how youd feel if you married a man and hes carrying on with someone else when youre trying to build love and trust with him :'(

 

[جوري]

Maybe it is best if this thread is closed!

 

[S_87]

thanks for the reminder lisa, i apologise if i was rude rasema