What does it mean when men say they want a submissive wife

[Serinity]

I want a wife who can talk back.. But also have some understanding. It'd be boring if she never talked back. And if she always talked back, and always wanted her way, then that is disliked by me too.

 

[s.ali123]

Lol, I tried to read all comments above but some were too lengthy to read.
I personally want a wife who is my best friend. She can have her own opinion, and I don't exactly understand what it means by submissive. The way I see it is like we both discuss all the things in detail, even everyday matters, and reach to conclusions which are more beneficial, and if there comes a point where there is clear different approaches to follow, and I want to follow one way, then she support me with it. And same way if she wants to follow something, and I dont agree with it, I should still support her. So for me submissive means submission to Allah, and respecting eachother's approaches and implementing islamic teaching of love and mercy in our marriage.
And I already found the one fitting my criteria. Alhamdulillah

 

[fschmidt]

Well the superior and inferior refers to treatment. Modernity, is based on actually using this binary to construct sort of dominant culture regimes that exert their power over others and suppress them.


For example when Spain was governed by Islam, it didn't diminish the status of Christians and Jews by dictating to them the positions of trade, or business or made them feel inferior. Islam was used as the basis for governing of course, but Islam was never used as a weapon to control people and to make them feel as though their self worth was diminished. When Christian Spain emerged, religious doctrine was used to control people and to categorize the Muslims and the Jews as actual problems that needed to be "controlled" and dominated. See that difference ?


If you are indeed superior, you do not need to exert that superiority to control and diminish other people's worth. You used that superiority with wisdom and kindness.


Modernity with the expansion and creation of colonies used a dialogue of superior / inferior to make people feel like their worth was diminished and in order to justify that kind of colonial governance. Islamic expansion never did that, even as it expanded into regions it did not change the actual legal structure of places but was rather lenient. There's of course no denying that there were cases of slavery and things like that still present in the cultural milieu, but people were not mental or emotional "slaves" because they were not constructed as inferior to Islam. If you know what I mean. For example, if people converted to Islam they became free and were able to function in the social context, the racial issue was never used as a means to limit people from political office. This is different in the Christian expansion, where slavery was so abundant regardless of people becoming Christians and where new born Christians were still considered inferior to those who were drawn as "natural" Christians.

I think that even the best religion can be corrupted. So all religions have been both good and bad at different times in their history. Islam was quite good in Spain, but it has also been less good in other times and places. I don't know Islamic history very well, but I do know about the Karaite Jews in Egypt who never caused trouble to Muslims but were persecuted and driven out. Christianity was quite bad in Spain, but was quite tolerant in early America.

Instead of asking for a submissive wife, ask for a wife who will be kind, respectful and considerate. Just like a husband should be kind, respectful and considerate. Not a dominating husband, not a submissive wife. This is not a master or slave relationship. Both have rights and responsibilities towards each other.

I agree. Unfortunately in modern feminist culture, the wife is dominant and the husband is submissive. I could never tolerate a dominating wife, so I looked for (and found) my wife outside of feminist culture.

 

[Serinity]

Ask a scholar.

 

[Cpt.America]

Christianity was quite bad in Spain, but was quite tolerant in early America.

Sorry man, I'm gonna have to call you out on this one, Christianity in early America was 100% Puritanism and it was very very intolerant. They decimated native populations, justified institutionalized racism with religion as seen by the slavery of Africans, and they had the whole Salem witch trials which saw many innocent young women shamed and killed.