what is the best way to advise sisters..

  • Thread starter Thread starter zircon
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 15
  • Views Views 3K
zircon

zircon

Esteemed Member
Messages
180
Reaction score
16
Gender
Female
Religion
Islam
..who don't wear proper clothing (i.e. tight & transparent) and also wear hijab? and they are sisters whom I do not know personally. Just randomly seen in university or so. should I just go and advise them straight forward (since i might never see them again and this might be my only chance) or should I just give indirect advise? I hope to be able to convey without neglecting the حكمة part
 
Perhaps over dinner?

Seriously, leave it. People don't take criticism like that well.
 
:sl:
there are two things related with all commandemnets of ALLAH SWT...
1 are the favours and nihma when we follow that Commandment and other are the Azabs and waheeds if we dont follow.....
better is that we should explians the advantages and favours in following every commandement ....bcz telling about azabs and strictness may make them more far from islam.
JZK
:wa:
 
to dagless: that is also my concern. for a stranger to come over you and tell that you aren't wearing the proper attire, what would you think about that? most probably ignore and laugh over that. but there must be something we can do right..

to tigerkhan: very good point! but how to put that (telling goodness/benefit of following Allah's command to people) into practice?
 
:sl:Introduce yourself. Tell them you like meeting and getting to know other muslim sisters. Get their contact details. Regularly send them emails/texts about Islamic stuff (careful not to come across as too preachy - be a friend). Slowly and sneakily send stuff about how tight + transparent clothing is not right (after having sent a few messages about something entirely unrelated, of course).

Job's a good 'un. :D
 
:sl:
its take time....u see even for suhaba RA the Allah SWT commands about parda/proper dressing come in last years of Prophet (PBUH)..... so u may start with by making their mind that "success of both the worlds is in followings the commands of ALLAH SWT, we will be in very big loss if we dont follow it our this short life...so then u may mentioned see we should need dressing as islam giude us....and better u may see some authetic Fazail/favours for women in HAdiths who do proper dressing and u may tell them in details...but be ploite.... Mashallah u had v.good spirit and intentions.May Allah SWT be with u in this holy intention.
JZK
:wa:
 
Try leading by example. If you don't know them personally, smileat them when they walk pastand that will touch them and they will see what attire u have on and maybe it wil get them thinkin :)

May Allah reward you in our efforts to forbid evil and enjoin the good :)
 
thank you all for responding. what makes me think of this question is because sometimes when i see sisters wearing inappropriately i just feel like saying it to them directly, but part of me says, that is not hikma. now i think to just storm them with advises isn't appropriate anyway. let us all try our best..
 
I understand your frustration Sis I really do. I feel appropriate Hijab is the core of a muslim woman. Without that, who is to say she is Muslim besides Allah SWT?
 
Alpha Dude said:
:sl:Introduce yourself. Tell them you like meeting and getting to know other muslim sisters. Get their contact details. Regularly send them emails/texts about Islamic stuff (careful not to come across as too preachy - be a friend). Slowly and sneakily send stuff about how tight + transparent clothing is not right (after having sent a few messages about something entirely unrelated, of course).

Job's a good 'un. :D
Click to expand...

good idea.. i wouldnt rush over to them just outa the blue sis and start judging them on what they wear.;D people dont take that well no matter how kind you are, they will just give u a dirty look and probably walk away and start gossiping about how insensitive and judgmental you are.
 
cat eyes said:
good idea.. i wouldnt rush over to them just outa the blue sis and start judging them on what they wear.;D people dont take that well no matter how kind you are, they will just give u a dirty look and probably walk away and start gossiping about how insensitive and judgmental you are.
Click to expand...

True. Even with friends you have to be careful. Here is the plan:

  1. Make friends and gain their trust. You can say salam and have a little chat with them everytime you see them.
  2. Invite them to the prayer room. You have one, Right? Maybe one day whilst chatting say "oh wait would you look at that, it's prayer time, let's go and pray together". They can't refuse. I did that all the time with my friends. They started spending their entire lunchtime in the prayer room. :p
  3. Sit down and slowly break it down to them after prayer.
If you go up to them directly they'll be like ^o) and they might not follow your advise.

Hope this helps and may Allah reward you for your efforts/ Insh'Allah.
 
This is not an easy thing to do, and will likely not be done in a day.

I say introduce yourself, get to know them a little bit. Then slowly start talking to them about the importance of Islam in our life, just general things. Pointing out one's faults is obviously something you shouldn't do, but you know, drop a few hints or something without making it so blatently obvious.
 
:sl:
zircon said:
..who don't wear proper clothing (i.e. tight & transparent) and also wear hijab? and they are sisters whom I do not know personally. Just randomly seen in university or so. should I just go and advise them straight forward (since i might never see them again and this might be my only chance) or should I just give indirect advise? I hope to be able to convey without neglecting the حكمة part
Click to expand...

may Allah reward you and make your dawah efforts a success =)

i'll go with what others said, i.e get to know them and send them articles, etc sneakily.

i'll also say DO go up to them but make sure you be smart about it =) like approach them and just say to them as kindly as gently as i could ":sl: do you mind if i kindly advise you about something......./i really need to advise you about something"

sometimes we worry too much how we come across if we are upfront but sometimes people really appreciate it.
 
thank you for all those who respond :) you will inshallah get your part of thawab if my effort becomes successful inshallah. And yes Umm Sufyan, that's exactly what i was thinking to do that day (approach them and just say to them as kindly as gently as i could), the word i planned to say was "sister, do you mind if i say something about your dress?" but i didn't have enough strength so what i did was just look as the sister pass by and went out of the masjid. I immediately feel dissapointed of not being able to do anything afterward.. and i don't know, in my university there's a lot of students from different countries; i tend to feel more dissapointed if i see the sisters who wear inappropriate dress are Arabs. there's some kind of reserved thinking in my head saying Arabs should be better in the matter of religion compared to others. it's like a-'you are an arab, why dress like that?'-thing :-s
 
zircon said:
..who don't wear proper clothing (i.e. tight & transparent) and also wear hijab? and they are sisters whom I do not know personally. Just randomly seen in university or so. should I just go and advise them straight forward (since i might never see them again and this might be my only chance) or should I just give indirect advise? I hope to be able to convey without neglecting the حكمة part
Click to expand...

:sl: i have actually created a thread on this topic previously in this section and as you have correctly observed as many of us have all over the Islamic world aswell as western world that many of our sisters unfortunatley are using the hijaab as a fashion accessory.

Much of this may come down to knowledge and also ignorance. But the fact of the matter is that it is upto our dear sisters to remind them and inform them in the best of ways that they must not abuse or misuse the beautiful and sacred hijaab and that they must wear it as it is prescribed for them to wear it by Allah and not like how shaythan wants them to wear it as a fashion accessory to attract even more attention upon themselves than sisters who don't wear it at all.

Just the day before yesterday a sister who works near where i do and also lives near me wore a skirt just upto her knees with see through tights with a hijaab on her head. This truly shocked me because i never thought that a sister would go that far whilst wearing hijaab and i just did'nt know what to think in seeing this but it did truly sadden me that this is how far things are going nowadays.

Sisters you must inform other sisters who may not have the correct knowledge and understanding in the most beautiful of manners as prescribed by Allah in the Qur'an. You should:

1. Start off by breaking the ice somehow and talk to them in a friendly manner and maybe the second or third occassion invote them to a sisters circle or halaqa and if they attend then talk about the beauty and true essence of hijaab and its sacredness.

2. Take their number and e mail and send them weekly Islamic reminder texts and beneficial Islamic to their e mail.

3. Talk to them about Islam maybe for a short while or even few minutes whenever you come across them and don't mention the hijaab subject straight away maybe after a couple of occassions talk about the beauty of hijaab and how it should be worn in a proper manner but do it in an indirect way for example: We should do this or that not you should so as to make it seem like all sisters should do things this way so they don't feel its targeted right at them because a lot of the times if people feel they are being targeted then their defences may come up.

4. Once you have spoken to them on a number of occassions and have a closer friendly relationship with them then maybe you can bring up the subject when you feel is the right and appropriate time. When talking about this subject do it in the best of ways and in a very gentle manner so that they start to appreciate the true essence and beauty of hijaab and that they should wear it in a proper manner with appropriate clothing.

May Allah give all of us both our brothers and sisters the ability to dress modestly and simply. Ameen

:wa:
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top