What is the ideal Muslim husband?

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Treating your wife with kindness!

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):​



Surah An Nisa 4:19​

19. O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allâh brings through it a great deal of good.
(Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan translation)​
 
how do women like to be shown appreciation? lol is it simply telling them "I appreciate what you do" or does it involve buying them something to show your appreciation?
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its both...............

like complimenting food she cooks/ if she dressed up, for u to notice, how she keeps home clean etc...just a few small words can mean alot n melt a heart
 
**muslimah** said:
:wa:
It's "ideal", not real. ^^
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As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

**muslimah**:

Hopefully you can only speak on your own behalf. You have no idea what is going on in the households of Millions of Muslims worldwide.​
 
As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

When your outlook on life in general is confronted with never ending obstacles you don't realize you are the cause and your mind continues to create these false barriers. The type of person no one desires to share the same space.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.​
 
As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):​

Wrong Concept of an Ideal Husband​

A look at the matrimonial section of an Islamic magazine will quickly demonstrate that many Muslim men and women do not know what an ideal Muslim husband is. Muslim men looking for wives advertise themselves as doctors, engineers, and financially secure. Muslim women appear to be on the lookout for an established professional or more likely a handsome MD. Rarely do Muslim men and women even mention character, religious convictions, and attitudes as a priority. At most, they might be mentioned as a sidebar. It seems that many of us believe that a man is an ideal Muslim husband if he is handsome, makes a lot of money, and comes from an influential family. And the divorce rate among Muslims continues to rise.​

Standard of Judging an Ideal Husband​

As Muslims, we must base our judgment on what makes an ideal Muslim husband on the guidance of Allah () and the example of Prophet Muhammad (SAWS), not on the standards of a TV sitcom, the culture in which we were born, or our own materialistic mentality.​

source: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/Islam/marriage.ideal.asp
 
What is your idea of an ideal Muslim husband?


As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):​

What is your view of an Ideal Muslim husband?


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My ideal husband has a strong deen, is able to help me in my Islamic practice, is willing to accept my strengths and weaknesses, is kind, good-tempered, has sense of humor, and likes reading books. It doesn't seem to me to be asking much. :><:
 
Is the ideal Muslim husband a medical doctor, an engineer, multi-millionaire.
Money brings conveniences and comfort in life, but it definitely should not be a requirement in finding a husband from the list above. Although, yes, he should have a secure job since women go through so many domestic rituals in a marriage; to expect them to also work is too much. If they want to work, of course, that's their choice.

Is the ideal Muslim husband humble, gentle, kind, considerate, caring, loving, open to good advice, willing to cooperate with others in the family rather than dictate rules, helpful in the house, involved in raising the children, and never abusive either physically or mentally.

Yes, that is the ideal husband and I'm happy to say the majority of the men in my family are what you have listed. I hope other men realize how important it is to be good maintainers!

Use the Quran and Sunnah to show what you think is the ideal Muslim Husband. Insha Allah

The best example I can give you from Hadiths and the Quran, Prophet Muhammad, Hazrat Musa, Hazrat Yusuf, Hazrat Ayub, Hazrat Lut!
This thread was created with the best intentions. Any positive feedback would be appreciated and encouraged.

Great question!:statisfie
 
[QUOTE=Ranya;1426350]My ideal husband has a strong deen, is able to help me in my Islamic practice, is willing to accept my strengths and weaknesses, is kind, good-tempered, has sense of humor, and likes reading books. It doesn't seem to me to be asking much. :><:[/QUOTE]

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):​

Ukhti Ranya:

that is ideal but the cultural element is very important in your husband succumbing to traditional male chauvinist views which isn't the Sunna. The practice of culture replaces the application of Islam. I agree that the qualities you listed should be the criteria for an Ideal husband. Applying the Sunna doesn't mean a person abandons the good qualities Allah has blessed them with.

Everyone is different. There are no clones.

Good post!





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As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Jazakumullahu Khair for the positive contributions to the thread!



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this is a great thread mashallah
here are some points in an article that are important to point out
the full article is here http://www.missionislam.com/family/husband.htm

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]His first duty is maintenance and protection, and overall responsibility for the welfare of his wife, which is prescribed in the Qur’an:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Men shall take full care of women with the bounties which Allah has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions....". ​

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][Qur’an 4:34][/FONT]​
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]This includes feeding, clothing and shelter for the wife and for any children of the marriage. This is a legally enforceable duty, which remains even after divorce until the expiry of the Iddah or even longer in the view of some of the scholars. Financial responsibility for the family therefore rests squarely on the husband, and the wife has no duty to contribute to family expenses unless she has the means and the wish to do so.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The legal obligations of a husband do not stop with provision of the basic requirements relating to maintenance and protection. He is also expected to give her company and marital relations, and to avoid doing anything that would harm her.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]These obligations are enforced by the Shari’ah. If a man fails to maintain his wife or fails to visit her for more than a certain period of time, the wife has grounds to be granted a divorce by a Shari’ah Court. Similarly, if she can prove to the court that the husband is doing harm (Idrar), be it by drinking alcohol, or beating her without lawful cause, or abusing her or her parents and so on, she is entitled to be granted a divorce. In none of these cases can the husband claim back any part of the dowry or presents he has given to the wife. I would like to make a note here that every situation has to be evaluated on its merits and circumstances by a Shar'iah Court. These points mentioned above are general precepts in the Shar'iah.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Husband is however urged in the Qur’an to avoid divorce and try to preserve marriage even if it is not ideal. This is to be done in the first instance by exercising patience with his wife’s faults. The Qur’an say’s;[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][Qur’an 4:19][/FONT]​
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Prophet (saws) also emphasised the undesirability of divorce in a Hadith found in Abu Dau’d’s collection:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"The most hateful of all lawful things, in the sight of Allah, is divorce."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The ideal husband should therefore, if need arises, make full use of Qur’anic provisions for reconciliation and arbitration [Qur’an 4:34] before proceeding with divorce[/FONT]


[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Lastly, I approached the question "What is an ideal Muslim husband" by asking Muslim women to tell me what they thought.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To this end a questionnaire was passed to a random group of Muslim women, who informed me what they considered the most desirable qualities for an ideal Muslim husband to be.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To this end, a random group of 35 Muslim women living locally, mainly married ones were selected.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The five most important qualities scored 2 points each and the five next most important qualities scored 1 point each. The result is shown below:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Women’s Order of Priority in the Desirable Qualities of an Ideal Muslim [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Husband[/FONT]​
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Points[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1st. A Pious Muslim 49[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]2nd. Truthfulness and honesty 47[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]3rd A good leader 40[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]4th Justice and fairness 38[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]5th Love of children 37[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]6th Kindness and consideration 31[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7th Readiness to consult his wife 30[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]8th Good manners 29[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]9th Chastity and good morals 26[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]10th Trustworthiness and reliability 25[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]11th Avoids quarrelling and beating 22[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]12th Clean habits 20[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]13th Strength of mind and will 19[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]14th Gentleness 17[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]15th Generosity 14[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]16th A loving nature 16[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]17th Ability to be contented with one wife 15[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]18th Sense of humour 13[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]19th Reasonableness 11[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]20th Firmness 9[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]21st Intelligence 8[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]22nd Seriousness 7[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]23rd Good looks 6[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]24th Physical strength 4[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]25th Wealth 1[/FONT]
[/FONT]
 
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Re: What is your idea of an ideal Muslim husband?

sabr* said:

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):​

What is your view of an Ideal Muslim husband?


4216d1294783246whylearnedcantradicalized-1.gif
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Ahhh, your signature makes me itchy!!



These replies have been brilliant and so insightful! JazaakamuAllaahu Khayran!
 
What is the ideal Muslim husband?
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dont be a Nazi.

if you dont want your wife to study, educate her
if you dont want your wife to drive, take her places
if you dont want your wife to see friends, talk to her. make sure that your wife has company, otherwise dont complain when she talks too much.
if you dont want to pay for her food/essentials, let her go out and buy her own food/essentials


if you forbid anything from your wife unjustfully, dont forbid your wife from going out and seeking her own means. if you had an animal, and you didn't feed it, etc would you be cruel as to not even let it attain its own means of living/survival.<---if you cant do that to an animal, then a human being takes more priority.
 
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