Eeman
IB Veteran
- Messages
- 598
- Reaction score
- 78
although i was born a muslim, religion was never a part of my life, we were not sent to sunday school to learn the Qur'an or any of the privilges that MashaAllah young muslim kids have nowadays.
so growing up was really hard for me i was a confused kid about life why we are here and whats our purpose, we were taught that there was one God and that was Allah swt, we were taught to fear Him and yet love Him and to do bad to no one and be a good person.
when i was a kid atthe age of 10 i would say i went out swimming to the swimming pool, coming out of the swimming pool i noticed that there was a new islamic shop opened right across the road, i've always loved books and reading so naturally i walked to the shop and entered. the shop was empty and there was a young african man sitting at the end where the till was, as he saw me he asked if i needed help, feeling shy and embarrassed knowing that i had no money to buy any books since i had spent all my pocket money on food i sad "ummm i'm just looking around" he asked me if i was looking for anything in specific, and feeling myself going red in the cheeks out of embarrassment that i didnt even know what kind of a book i would find here since its an islamic bookshop i automatically remembered the qur'an, so i said im looking for a qur'an.
He gestured for me to come nearer to him and picked up a book from a shelf behind him,
he said take this home, and showed me how you read from right to left and write his number and name on the front page. Feeling even more embarrassed now i asked him how much is it, and he said my child it's a gift fom Allah swt, if u need any help please call me.
i took the book and feeling confused said thank you and walked out, thinking how can someone just give you a book away like that???
his name was brother umar, I pray that Allah swt bestows Jannah upon him as his eternal abode InshaAllah.
i got home and showed the qur'an to my mum, she said that i was not paak (clean) to hold it or read it so gave me a bath.
i went into my room and sat down opened it and started to read, all i felt was the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, shivers down my spine and i started to burst out crying.
after then it freaked me out so much that i never turned to it again.
so i carried on with life and wronged myself many times over and over and over again, i was more lost and more confused, i never understood why everything happened to me, i started to believe that i was cursed and just a bad omen.
wen i thought life could possibly not get any worse then it would do just that get worse than it was. i was always waiting to hit rock bottom to spring up again but that bottom kept getting deeper and deeper, it came to a point where i lost motivation to live or to even breath, the only way out and exit to me was ways f ending the suffering and taking the exit card out of this world but there was always this one thing just this one thing that wouldnt allow me to do that.
then many years ago i got myself into a situation where i thought i was gonna mentally lose all sense i was in bed crying so much that it phsyically hurt, i sat up in bed and looked at my shelf and i saw the book that had been sitting there for many years untouched, and i remembered God.
i got up did my ablution and got on the prayer mat not knowing how many rakahs you pray orin what order you do it just knew that you praise Him and talk to Him and i'll tell you one thing to this day i have never have prayed like that it was so powerful and so gripping i cannot describe in words. And here I am today SubhanAllah in more peace than i have ever been. Alhumdulillahi rabbil Alamin!
so what makes me sure that my religion is right?
Cos if it was not for the mercy of Allah swt I would not be alive today.
so growing up was really hard for me i was a confused kid about life why we are here and whats our purpose, we were taught that there was one God and that was Allah swt, we were taught to fear Him and yet love Him and to do bad to no one and be a good person.
when i was a kid atthe age of 10 i would say i went out swimming to the swimming pool, coming out of the swimming pool i noticed that there was a new islamic shop opened right across the road, i've always loved books and reading so naturally i walked to the shop and entered. the shop was empty and there was a young african man sitting at the end where the till was, as he saw me he asked if i needed help, feeling shy and embarrassed knowing that i had no money to buy any books since i had spent all my pocket money on food i sad "ummm i'm just looking around" he asked me if i was looking for anything in specific, and feeling myself going red in the cheeks out of embarrassment that i didnt even know what kind of a book i would find here since its an islamic bookshop i automatically remembered the qur'an, so i said im looking for a qur'an.
He gestured for me to come nearer to him and picked up a book from a shelf behind him,
he said take this home, and showed me how you read from right to left and write his number and name on the front page. Feeling even more embarrassed now i asked him how much is it, and he said my child it's a gift fom Allah swt, if u need any help please call me.
i took the book and feeling confused said thank you and walked out, thinking how can someone just give you a book away like that???
his name was brother umar, I pray that Allah swt bestows Jannah upon him as his eternal abode InshaAllah.
i got home and showed the qur'an to my mum, she said that i was not paak (clean) to hold it or read it so gave me a bath.
i went into my room and sat down opened it and started to read, all i felt was the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, shivers down my spine and i started to burst out crying.
after then it freaked me out so much that i never turned to it again.
so i carried on with life and wronged myself many times over and over and over again, i was more lost and more confused, i never understood why everything happened to me, i started to believe that i was cursed and just a bad omen.
wen i thought life could possibly not get any worse then it would do just that get worse than it was. i was always waiting to hit rock bottom to spring up again but that bottom kept getting deeper and deeper, it came to a point where i lost motivation to live or to even breath, the only way out and exit to me was ways f ending the suffering and taking the exit card out of this world but there was always this one thing just this one thing that wouldnt allow me to do that.
then many years ago i got myself into a situation where i thought i was gonna mentally lose all sense i was in bed crying so much that it phsyically hurt, i sat up in bed and looked at my shelf and i saw the book that had been sitting there for many years untouched, and i remembered God.
i got up did my ablution and got on the prayer mat not knowing how many rakahs you pray orin what order you do it just knew that you praise Him and talk to Him and i'll tell you one thing to this day i have never have prayed like that it was so powerful and so gripping i cannot describe in words. And here I am today SubhanAllah in more peace than i have ever been. Alhumdulillahi rabbil Alamin!
so what makes me sure that my religion is right?
Cos if it was not for the mercy of Allah swt I would not be alive today.