what shall i do

[AnonymousPoster]

I am a single brother who can not afford to get married.In my country there are many unveiled beautiful women who are everwhere .Moreover, many men and women are dating.My imane now is weak but i resist temptation.

 

[Sister_22013]

SubhanAllah, that is good that you have resisted thus far.

Easiest way to gain iman is to start to learn more about Islam, it really helped me. Also lower your gaze brother so you do not see the women. And do not succumb to dating, not matter how much others are doing it.

Here is an article on how to improve iman

http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/weakimanfix.htm

It will also help you if you are in the company of other pious brothers. Also brother, make lots of dua that Allah protects you. Fast if you have unbearable temptation. Maybe try to find a job--part time or otherwise so that you can get married in the future.

 

[faizacadday]

thanks for the link muminin it was very helpful

 

[Dawud_uk]

i am not saying you are definately wrong but i find many people who say they cannot afford to marry are incorrect.

what they often mean is they cannot afford a big cultural wedding, cannot afford lots of gifts for the wife, dont have a job, career, house, car, degree etc lots of families ask for these days.

but the answer to such people is simple,

marry a wife who is happy simply following the sunnah and you dont need to worry about finding such things, alhamdulillah i found such a wife who was willing to seek the extra blessings from Allah by having a simple wedding which cost us about £700 including mahar.

i then had a low paying job where we struggled to find money to eat meat more than once or twice a week.

we then moved cities and i was unemployed and survived on even less than this,

so it depends on the needs and demands of the wife on how much a man needs to get married, marry a sister who is firm upon the Quran and Sunnah and really you dont need that much at all.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Mashallah u are lucky brother.May ALLAH bless u.i wish i would find a woman who loves sunnah.they are rare especially when it comes to money

 

[Detritavore]

Ok I'm ever so confused! Why is AnonymousGender an insecure female on one thread then a male looking for a potential spouse on another??

 

[seeker-of-light]

hmm...not sure
either way, i hope that whoever you are, you find strength in allah, because he is the sole provider of strength to all those who call to him=)

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i am not saying you are definately wrong but i find many people who say they cannot afford to marry are incorrect.

what they often mean is they cannot afford a big cultural wedding, cannot afford lots of gifts for the wife, dont have a job, career, house, car, degree etc lots of families ask for these days.

but the answer to such people is simple,

marry a wife who is happy simply following the sunnah and you dont need to worry about finding such things, alhamdulillah i found such a wife who was willing to seek the extra blessings from Allah by having a simple wedding which cost us about £700 including mahar.

i then had a low paying job where we struggled to find money to eat meat more than once or twice a week.

we then moved cities and i was unemployed and survived on even less than this,

so it depends on the needs and demands of the wife on how much a man needs to get married, marry a sister who is firm upon the Quran and Sunnah and really you dont need that much at all.

the decision to marry was on you and you alone i guess.

your family didnt influence your wedding or anything..

for us its different, we have to take into consideration the whole and entire extended family.


its very difficult to just up and get married... especially within big families.


i mean even just scouting out a person to marry seems wrong..

so only option is to sabr it out ... or at least thats how it seems to me..


assalamu alaikum

 

[Dawud_uk]

the decision to marry was on you and you alone i guess.

your family didnt influence your wedding or anything..

for us its different, we have to take into consideration the whole and entire extended family.


its very difficult to just up and get married... especially within big families.


i mean even just scouting out a person to marry seems wrong..

so only option is to sabr it out ... or at least thats how it seems to me..


assalamu alaikum

no, where the culture is unislamic then you have every right and duty to go against it.

if people dont like that in your family, then explain using kind words and beautiful speech and then if still dont like it - tough.

you have made this stick to beat yourself with, it is your's to break and throw away too if you wish.