What should I do about a rape in past?

[genki]

Assalamu Alaikum


A sister has converted to Islam Alhamdullilah and she has told me in confidence since we are going to get married of her past however sordid it was and that she was raped and her virginity stolen of her in that way.

Ofcourse I wasnt involved with her or knew her back in her past.

Deep down she wants to get him back for what he did to her and how he stole forced her virginity from her.

Islamically speaking what should or can I do?

Morally what is right to do?


I feel an anger deep down inside of me and want so badly to hurt and get back at this guy for having caused this girl to go through so much suffering and having led to her other bad choices in life. But what should I do?

How should I handle this?

 

[qassy!]

Salam Bruv

Im very sorry to here this, Do you know who it was? I would go and beat him up serioously

Sick mindded nutta

 

[------]

:salamext:

The man will get punished for his actions. Don't do anything personally brother.

 

[chacha_jalebi]

get a gay boy to rape him

thats what i believe the punishment should be and death

if you know who it is, pay him a visit then after you done your bit, report him to police

but bro if you dont know him, then it will be hard to find him

just remem Allah (swt) rewards you through hardship

may Allah swt, ease ya pain

 

['Abd al-Baari]

“The recompense of those who wage war against Allaah and His Messenger and do mischief in the land is only that they shall be killed or crucified or their hands and their feet be cut off from opposite sides, or be exiled from the land. That is their disgrace in this world, and a great torment is theirs in the Hereafter”

[al-Maaidah 5:33]

Taken from Ruling on the crime of rape from IslamQA

Remember that Allah swt will punish the criminal in the herafter,

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Muj4h1d4;

The man will get punished for his actions. Don't do anything personally brother

Very sound advice, but so hard to follow, we are on this Earth for a very short time, and then life after death lasts an eternity. The only one who has true power to put all injustice right is God, but we have to trust in God to put things right.
I often sense that when we attempt to put any injustice right we somehow seem to compound problems for the future.

In the spirit of praying for peace in our hearts.

Eric

 

[genki]

Things had lead to it and her previous lifestyle but ultimately she was raped and her virginity stolen from her.


I know everything there is to know about the other guy. Everything!

 

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


You have to remain patient bro, you can either report him to the police or you have to remain patient. According to the law, you don't really have the right to harm him anyway - therefore i know it is hard, but patience is really the only thing you can do. As muslims, we can't take the law into our own hands, we can't inflict punishment on the people ourselves.


Place your trust in Allah, and ask Allah for help. Know that He is aware of all that is going on, and that the Day of Judgment is for the true justice. If someone does not receive their rights in this world, then they will without a doubt on the Day of Judgment.

 

[genki]

So even though I know exactly who it is, where he lives, what he looks and sounds like, contact info etc and every fiber of my being tells me to go and castrate or atleast beat the hell out of him I shouldnt?

He date raped her, stole her virginity away from her, tried forcing her to perform other things and sodomised her too.

3years later it could never be proven in a court of law anywhere and no point.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Don't do anything to him, I think he is a sick perverted little (Enter here whatever you wish) ..

But the point is, if you beat him up, he will be punished here in the dunya, the greater punishment is in the afterlife, be patient

And he will get what he deserves in the aakhirah,

May Allah protect our sisters. Ameen

 

[00:00]

Hire a hitman,. the dirty sik ............... is still out der probably raping other women he needs to be taken down.

May Allah protect our sisters. Ameen

Ameen

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you genki,

If you were to beat the hell out of him, have him castrated or hire a hit man, how sure can you be that you are doing the will of Allah?

In the spirit of praying for peace in our heart

Eric

 

[Keltoi]

You must also concentrate on helping her get over it and to move on. It is natural that the first reaction would be to defend the honor of someone you care about, but women are much different than men in this department. The best thing you can do for her is to help her to realize that she is no less of a pure woman because such a travesty was inflicted upon her. Helping her to get over this event and to embrace her own self-worth is much more important than the short-term satisfaction of beating up the guy.

Just my two cents.

 

[Woodrow]

It is impossible for a group that does not know, you, the young lady or the man to make any knowledgeable decision. We can each only offer our own perspectives based upon what we think and emotionally feel. each of us will perceive what we read differently and have different reasons for answering as we do.

I suspect you have already decided upon your choice and are looking for justification for your choice.

There are factors to be considered and the least valuable of these are the opinions of people on a forum.

Ask yourself these questions.

Are your intentions for the purpose of healing your own wounds?

What is the desired result you wish to achieve?

Is the result compatible with Islam?

What choices do you truly have?

Who is the best person you personally know to ask for advice?

Will whatever action you take improve your life, the girl's life and serve to praise Allaah(swt)?

Think carefully, with facts and not feelings. Rethink any actions you intend to take or not take. Seek the personal guidance of someone you can personally trust and know is of high Imaan.

 

[genki]

In many ways her former way of life lead her to that path, the drinking, low self esteem, fun party kissing etc and the guy had made it clear very early how much of an A$$hole he was yet she continued seeing him. But what boils my blood is he had it all planned out. Everything tells me he had it all planned out and though she resisted him and fought him and told him to stop stop when she ran upstairs to get away from him and was cornered she gave up and was frightened for her life.
Every time I think about it I feel so hurt for the pain and humilation she would have gone through. Had she had any self esteem or worth or backbone or valued things a little more, that wouldnt have happened to her.

But nobody deserves that! And this guy had it all planned out down to a bottle of wine and out of the way apartment. And as a result of him she felt like now she has nothing to cherish and felt hopeless, disgusted, betrayed and drank even more and became very indecent with another man. He is the roots of it all.

What concerns me more is how many other poor souls might he have done this to? How many others will he force and take advantage of?


Talking about hiring a hitman is all good and well but realistically they dont exactly advertise. And I dont want him dead. She herself deep down wants to get back at him but neither of us wants him dead. Besides where would one even look?

Doing something would comfort her knowing he didnt get away with it. And it would comfort me knowing he got pain and suffering and humiliation in this life and that he wont be inflicting any more on others and more to come in the next life.

The choices I guess I have is accept it, protect and cherish her from now and support her and encourage her to value herself more. And hold in my own feelings of pain and the suffering she would have gone through.

Or do all that and get this miserable sack of .....

 

[Woodrow]

you are wise to understand you have choices. No choice will ever undo the past. the need is to not make any choice that will cause greater harm to yourself or the young lady

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

date rape?

i sympathise with your situation

anyway, ask a scholar about his punishment, Allah knows best.


As for the girl, its still fine for you to marry her inshaAllaah.


Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah

 

[genki]

Brother woodrow. Obviously no harm would come to her but worst case i would be involved.

I know I have a choice and it cant be undone. A very small part of me tells me its not my fight, it was her choices to be with him, her actions of going with him even when he made it clear, her choice to drink and go to his place, her choice to give up, her choice not to have fought him etc. But the greater part feels no matter what she did HE HAD NO RIGHT to do that and of all people to a virgin and had planned it all out. And who knows to who else he has or will do that too.

Obviously another choice is to run away from the whole situation and her sordid past too by letting her go and walking away.

 

[Woodrow]

Brother woodrow. Obviously no harm would come to her but worst case i would be involved.

That is one of your main concerns keep that in mind. Be certain of all possible outcomes. one consideration is will what you xdo help protect her privacy or will it result in her past being made public?

 

[YusufNoor]

Assalamu Alaikum


A sister has converted to Islam Alhamdullilah and she has told me in confidence since we are going to get married of her past however sordid it was and that she was raped and her virginity stolen of her in that way.

Ofcourse I wasnt involved with her or knew her back in her past.

Deep down she wants to get him back for what he did to her and how he stole forced her virginity from her.

Islamically speaking what should or can I do?

Morally what is right to do?


I feel an anger deep down inside of me and want so badly to hurt and get back at this guy for having caused this girl to go through so much suffering and having led to her other bad choices in life. But what should I do?

How should I handle this?

how about a little advice of a different kind?

regarding:

Deep down she wants to get him back for what he did to her and how he stole forced her virginity from her.

ahem, "deep down", thus she HASN'T voiced this feeling? NOT YOU'RE JOB! LEAVE IT!

I feel an anger deep down inside of me and want so badly to hurt and get back at this guy for having caused this girl to go through so much suffering and having led to her other bad choices in life. But what should I do?

THAT'S what this is about, isn't it? again, NOT YOU'RE JOB!

A sister has converted to Islam Alhamdullilah and she has told me in confidence since we are going to get married of her past however sordid it was and that she was raped and her virginity stolen of her in that way.

it's HER sordid past, NOT yours. besides i think you KNOW the real deal:

The choices I guess I have is accept it, protect and cherish her from now and support her and encourage her to value herself more.

BINGO! best advice up here!

as for this:

And hold in my own feelings of pain and the suffering she would have gone through.

you DID NOT have those things happen to you. don't feel sorry for yourself...

you could:

Obviously another choice is to run away from the whole situation and her sordid past too by letting her go and walking away.

you have 2 extremes, if you love her, get over it. if you can't deal with it, walk away...

the choices ARE yours!