what to do????? :-( :-(

[anonymous]

Asalaam alikum my dear brothers and sisters, hope everybody is well. i really need some help, im struggling to get over my ex boyfriend, its been nearly 5 months now since he left, and i still think about him everyday, i miss his touch, i hear about him out with his girl mates and it kills me from inside, we broke up because i was overly insecure due to personal issues, we also have a lot of mutual friends. i havent seen him for nearly 3 months now n i think i will be seeing him next month back at uni and i dont know what 2 do. in a way im really glad we broke up because i turned to my deen and alhamdulilah i am practicisng now, i just dont know how to forget him, i keep thinking about the next time i will see him im so scared, i dont even want to see him again but i know i will be, how can i get over him :laugh:

 

[Woodrow]

with all sympathy, I believe this illustrates the wisdom of us not being permitted to have girl friends or boy friends.

Perhaps, some sisters can give you some helpful advice.

 

[Eeman]

salam alaikum sis,

awwwwwwwwwwww bless your heart i pray that Allah swt heals your heart and makes you much stronger and gets you over this Insha'Allah and guides your heart to true happiness.

Sis i am glad to hear that you have turned to islam and Masha'Allah are focusing more on that now... i a sure and i know that you may have heard it so many times that anything that starts off in a non halal way this will be the outcome.

Ok sis firstly you need to remind yourself about Al Qadr... Nothing happens without Allah swt's will!!!!
If He swt had not written this guy for you then this guy will not be the one for you SIMPLE! I know sometimes to try and grasp this in and understand it especially when the heart is hurting is impossible and despair still hits home, but speaking from experience sis... let me tell you one thing even if you loved this guy like there was no tomorrow, and feel and think and know in your heart that he was the one, and it turns out that you two are not meant to be then it is for a very good reason, Allah swt knows best we dont and when things like this happen it is for that simple reason and cos this guy may be no good for you...

Let me tell you something... as much as you are hurting now and as hard as it may seem... what you fail to see is that your suffering is a Mercy... you are having to go through this but your failing to see that this is probably the biggest blessing of your life.

There are some of us who are unfortunate enough through our own ignorance to live our lives constantly turning a blind eye to the truth, even though knowing its the truth through our ignorance we dont take heed for various reasons, we carry on living or lives thinking as long as we do no one harm and believe in God then we are ok... yes i'll pray when i'm older and have more grey hair then i'll fast too. There is nothing wrong with being girlfriend and boyfriend as long as i am still a virgin, oh you know something some even say its ok we are girlfriend and boyfriend and i know that i will end up with him or her and get married so its ok if we do it before marriage... but hold on i thought the whole concept of their lives were that they are not doing anyone wrong... what they fail to see is that they are doing themselves wrong a lot of wrong...

the lucky ones are those who realise but this realisation does not come to them on a random day whilst they have woken up in the morning or through a dream or in the mids of nowhere... it only comes to us when God knocks us right down to the ground where we are in the perfect position to bow down and make sajda (prostrate). It is then when there is nothing else left for the person when the whole world collapses around them, and they seek and run after every possible worldly way of healing themselves and i mean truly healing with no scars no reminders that they remember Allah swt and turn to Him. Subhan'Allah.

So dont you see???? everything happens for a reason, By this guy walking into your life, there was a reason his aim was to leave you scared and wounded so that through His Mercy Allah swt would draw you near to Him.
And you need to understand this sis!!! the sooner you understand it the better for yourself.

There is only one way that the heart is fully healed, and there is only One healer, Just like He brings the heart pain, only He can remove it and that it Allah swt!
How determined are you to heal that broken heart of yours?
if your really determined then i suggest you make islam your no1 priority in life,
Allah swt says that He has sent the Quran down t mankind as a healing and mercy so recite it much and strive hard to keep yourself steadfast in salah cos salah is the purification of the soul, makes LOADSSSSSSSSSSS of dua and with a sinecer heart and have firm believe that your duas will Insha'Allah be answered.

always remember that the shaytaan in forever there always looking out for ways and opportunitues to strike so when you go back to uni then dont give it a chance to strike again, despair is like one opening the door for the accursed shaytaan and inviting them in so dont be in despair have faith and put all your trust in Him swt and He will put all your affairs in order for you Insha'Allah.

I promise you that you will get over this I gaurantee you that you will, once you fill your heart with love for the Almighty Lord and only for Him then there will be no space left for the love you have for this guy.. it will vanish your heart will feel complete, whole once again, content and happy.

so smile and wipe that tear off your face, everytime you remember him do this, i swear to you it works, either do 2 nafl rakah or dhikhr or read the Quran.
your heart will find peace and ease once again, you'll feel so much better.
keep yourself occupied. educate yourself with islam, spend time reading about it knowledge enlivens the heart so enliven your heart with the knowledge of truth.

but do not espect miracles to happen, at first it is hard but the more harder you fight for righteousness the more easier it becomes and the more rewards you get for it Insha'Allah.

remember it wont always remain this way, now that you have turned yourself to Allah swt its your time to be tested s bare with it sis Allah swt never burdens a soul withmore that it can bare i promise you that, the more He burden He bares you with the more strength and patience He will bestow upon that slave.

This too shall Insha'Allah pass that i promise you too... with every hardship there is relief, there are two reliefs for one hardship how beautiful is that?
That is the promise of our Almighty Lord and His promises are true, so you will Insha'Allah i pray that very very soon get your two reliefs.

dont watse away your precious time being in despair and upset and sad ver some guy, cos we dont know if we will live to see tomorrow, so occupy yourself with packing your back of righteousness and good deeds for your journey to the Akhira cos this world is nothing but a delusion.

I pray for you sis, i sincerely pray that Allah swt heals your hearts lifts the pain from your heart and guides your heart to the straight path and always keeps your guided, that He disposes all your affairs for you and makes this hardship easy for you and gives you your reliefs and rewards you with jannatul firdaus Insha'Allah... Ameen

wa salam

 

[F0z14]

salaaam sis, i have only just read your reply! it was called the what 2 do; about a ex boyf do u remember? thank u so much 4 ur long reply, to be honest i also have two other posts on the forum, under salaam need some help and guidance please i think its under.
thank you 4 ur duas, and i will also do dua for you too sis. this forum is great!