what to go for....

[AnonymousPoster]

I know this is long, but please read all of it and then give advice if you can;

Basically i'm in this little situation i need some help with. I met this boy, practicing and pious. He used to motivate me and help me to become more practicing and he really changed me to the better. Things evolved in the way that i felt he was the one i want to spend the rest of my life with but when the question came to marriage, he said that he is not in the position to support a marriage and he may not be able to provide for me (at that point of time) cuz he had no job and was studying. But that wouldn't make any difference to me i was ready to go through any struggles with him. He asked for some time but i refused and said that he should forget everything and that things will never be the same and blah blah (and i still don't know why i said so).

Basically now i have no contact with him and i haven't seen him since ages. But i don't know why i cannot move on, it's not that he was a crush, he was the man i could see a safe and secure future with, sm1 who would be able to provide a good islamic teaching and upbringing to our kids.

I am confused because i don't even know if he remembers me and secondly if he does and we do get married i don't know if i should risk getting into a marriage where things may not change for us (economically). I don't know what to do, go for some1 my parents pick for me or maybe contact him and see if things work out this time around (not as gf/bf, but marriage) or should i just accept it as fate and that it was never ever meant to be and it never will. :?

jazakAllah khair for reading.

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Well it all depends on your priorities. Personally I would say, forget the financial insecurity, and go for the religious guy, and trust on Allah subhana wa ta'ala. And if he asks to wait, make up your mind if he's worth waiting for. But then again, I can't force my opinion on you, you'll just have to make up your own mind, set your own priorities. Maybe you should try istakhara? May Allah subhana wa ta'ala guide you.

 

[skhalid]

If you are sure he is the one you are willing to spend the rest of your life with, get in touch with him and discuss the matter further........at the end of the day you marry for diin and other similar aspects, it shouldn't matter as much about financial problems I'm sure there is a way to sort something out, and he is still studying so after surely he'll get a job but if you can you can wait if he is worth waiting for as Abdul said above. Although be sure that he feels the same way because the way he told you about that seems a bit on side if you get what I mean...I don't mean to offend...but if I would expect someone to tell you that and if they feel the same way they would give you some reassurance that 'maybe later in the future after I sort my life out so that I can provide for you and my family'.
Think carefully before you take action because this could change the course of your life!
All the best your sista in Islam
P.S. I fort it is best to post anonymously just that if you get angry due to what I wrote.
I am sorry If I have wronged you! :rollseyes

 

[AnonymousPoster]

^^ no sis you haven't offended me in any way. I am actually happy that there are ppl out there and sista's like you that are giving their point of views and trying to help. I appreciate ur honesty.

inshAllah i have left the matter to Allah, i'm sure whatever he does will be 4 the best.

 

[skhalid]

lol i fort i posted anonymously...but it don't matter as I have not wronged you...
let Allah be your guide in life and you shall be successful

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

if his worth waiting for and you are able to wait then wait.

if you think you can find better then ask your parents.

Allahu A'lam wish you the best inshaAllah

 

[jannat]

i hope Allah tala makes it easy for u as iam sure its hard and confusing. keep makin dua , as only time will tell. if he wants to marry you, iam sure he will be in contact. like you said he wants a bit of time, as he doesnt have the financial means. iam sure its like a waiting game... leave your faith in allah tala, be patient, i know its easy to say and a struggle to do.. maybe this is a struggle in itself.. the waiting period.. i think that if he wants to marry you he will contact you.. i dont fink u have to do anyfin, Only allah tala knows best in these situations, so i ask allah tala to help make it easy for u and others who r in the same situation. Inshallah tala.