What would you ask a potential partner?

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^Subject to correction...

Mehr e fatimi is the sunnat amount to give, however if that is not within ones means then an agreement to an amount within his capability should be made.
 
Sabeeha said:
^Subject to correction...

Mehr e fatimi is the sunnat amount to give, however if that is not within ones means then an agreement to an amount within his capability should be made.
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Thank you for the clarification, Sister. I think I was getting Mehr e fatimi confused with "dowry". I had read something about it in an article several months ago. I just tracked it down. Here is a small portion:

Nura Abdul Sattar, a psychiatrist, said that Saudi men drive women to marry non-Saudis by refusing to marry them. “Saudi men refuse to marry Saudi women for many reasons including unemployment, high dowries or because Saudi women are working in undesirable jobs such as nurses or in private companies. At the same time marriages between Saudi women and non-Saudi men always end tragically because of cultural differences.
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http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1&section=0&article=78135&d=20&m=8&y=2006

and also, this:

Tribe Sidelights: Imposes Fine to Counter Rocketing Dowry Demands
Arab News

AL-BAHA, 27 May 2008 — Faced with a barrage of complaints from young men who are unable to marry due to high dowry demands, a tribe in this southern Saudi city has ruled that tribe members wishing to get married cannot pay more than SR50,000 in dowry, the Al-Madinah daily reported yesterday. Couples who exceed this limit will be asked to pay SR10,000 to the Al-Bir Charity which helps couples from low-income families get married. In Islam, a dowry is a mandatory gift of money, possessions or property made by the husband to the wife. It becomes her exclusive property. The amount of dowry given should not burden the groom. However, in recent years, increasingly extravagant dowry demands have become a major obstacle to marriage and many Saudi men have had to defer marriage because they are unable to afford the money demanded by the parents of their prospective bride and the costs of the ceremony itself.
http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1&section=0&article=110315&d=27&m=5&y=2008

It is all a bit confusing for me. Maybe these articles are only in reference to Saudi men and not other places.
 
Yeah maybe.

But i find interesting or at least i wonder why they ask for so much?
 
Sabeeha said:
Yeah maybe.

But i find interesting or at least i wonder why they ask for so much?
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I don't know. I wonder if it has anything to do with having big extravegant weddings that cost upwards of 5,000-10,000 dollars. Maybe the parents want the dowry to cover both the bride dowry and cost of the wedding.
 
hmmm i would ask if he would be ok wit marrying the most overally shy, tense, timid and sensitive person on earth imsad
 
Imam said:
Great post


and that is true,women usually feel more worried about choosing the partner,and has hundreds of questions and fears more than the man if he is about to get marry .......


but that is normal as long as the woman more emotional than the man


I pray for Allah to lead me and all the brothers and sisters in the board to their life partners ....

Holy Quran 30:21 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.


what if comes to the hearts some dislike?


Holy Quran: live with them(wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.


you see how the noble Quran teachings encouraging the unity of family

peace

:w:
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Jazakallah khair & Thanks !
Hmmm yea woman are made that way....to worry too much ...hehe

ameen .....and Good Luck....:)
 
Questions questions, the fact is - when you are meeting a potential - they will not act themselves >.> or who knows what they say is true ;D (ye I know, what a pessimistic post :/)
 
Questions questions, the fact is - when you are meeting a potential - they will not act themselves >.> or who knows what they say is true (ye I know, what a pessimistic post :/)
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it seems you tried that by yourself,right?
anyway,I agree with you.
 
SixTen said:
Questions questions, the fact is - when you are meeting a potential - they will not act themselves >.> or who knows what they say is true ;D (ye I know, what a pessimistic post :/)
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True, thats why we have to be careful, but then u can only be so careful.
 
KelleyD said:
I don't know. I wonder if it has anything to do with having big extravegant weddings that cost upwards of 5,000-10,000 dollars. Maybe the parents want the dowry to cover both the bride dowry and cost of the wedding.
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:salamext: sister,

Well, a sister should be considerate and look at the brother's financial status when asking for her mahr, and what kind of a wedding she wants. After all, she doesn't want to burden a soul with more than it can bear (especially the man that she intends to spend the rest of her life with). And who wants to start married life off with a huge debt? The most blessed marriage is the least expensive one.

"...but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala) likes not al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance)."
(Soorah 7: Ayah 31)
 
:sl:
Sabeeha said:
True, thats why we have to be careful, but then u can only be so careful.
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i think you could just do really good background checks...i think that says a lot about someone more that what the person may say about themselves :)
 
Umm ul-Shaheed said:
:sl:

i think you could just do really good background checks...i think that says a lot about someone more that what the person may say about themselves :)
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:thumbs_upAnd thats the norm here in SA. But still i can think of one to cases that went off....
 
i think the main questions for me would be the following and the rest would follow. if im not happy with the answers to these, then there would be no point asking further questions.

Do you pray salaah on a daily basis?
how important is religion in your life?
Do you have a job? (can you put a roof over my head)
would you like to have children?
what do you expect of a wife?
 
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,

As-Salaamu 'Alaykum,

Interesting questions, the stuff about money is pretty shocking.

I don't want to offend anyone so I will only post one the possible questions:

Sister, you, and your family, do realise I'm a revert - right?

Hello? Where you going? What do you mean you have to go...Imam she ran away! hehe​

May Allah make us all very practicing and our future spouses practicing too and grant us pious, knowledgeable, loyal and courageous offspring.


Br.al-Habeshi
 
Im gonna ask you one last time are you 100% sure you wanna marry me???

and then id say: wow your crazy!

lool :):thumbs_up
 
Al Habeshi said:
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,

As-Salaamu 'Alaykum,

Interesting questions, the stuff about money is pretty shocking.

I don't want to offend anyone so I will only post one the possible questions:
Sister, you, and your family, do realise I'm a revert - right?

Hello? Where you going? What do you mean you have to go...Imam she ran away! hehe​
May Allah make us all very practicing and our future spouses practicing too and grant us pious, knowledgeable, loyal and courageous offspring.


Br.al-Habeshi
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Wa alaykum asalam,

Hmmm..why is that sisters don't want to marry a revert?:?

Ameen to your duaa.
 

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