From a sister:
Here are just a few questions you may want to ask a potential marriage prospect. They allow you to keep things strictly halal, while getting to know how the person's mind works. Alhamdulillah, they worked for us (along with a LOT more questions, this is just a starting block) and they were passed on to us from Baba Ali who met his wife the same way.
These questions were asked before any meetings or phone calls. They were done simply via email. When I first started writing to Hossein, I urged him from my second email to start doing istikharas. There is no point wasting each other's time. Allah (swt) is the best of all planners, and if you are supposed to marry someone, nothing will stop you. And if you are not, Allah (swt) will show you sign after sign. Whether or not you choose to accept it, is your decision.
Remember, until the day you are married, keep things halal. We are Muslim, and fully aware that Allah (swt) can take us at any time.
Would you want to go at a time when you have been committing haram activities?
Your spouse has the potential to help either get you into Janna, or take you away from it. Choose them wisely. Deen comes first.
May Allah (swt) bless us all, and guide us all to the right path inshaAllah
PS- I always tell people I was so scared when asking question 23, but I was told "you shouldn't be embarrassed about asking your potential husband anything"
1) Why do you want to get married?
2) What do you think is the role of a husband and wife in a marriage?
3) Do you feel a woman should work after marriage?
4) What is your biggest fear about marriage?
5) What action can happen one day unconsciously that would get under your skin?
6) What do you think is the role of the in laws in a marriage?
7) What kind of wedding do you envisage?
8) If there is something that I do that bothers you, would you say it or give me a signal that your bothered?
9) What is your biggest weakness?
10) What is your biggest strength?
11) What do you think is your most attractive feature?
12) You have been emailing me for a while now, what has kept your interest?
13) How long does it take for physical beauty to fade so it won't be an issue?
14) If all your friends didn't like me, how would that impact you?
15) If your friends could describe you in one word, what would it be and why?
16) If your parents could describe you in one word, what would it be and why?
17) Can men and women be just friends?
18) How important is religion in your life?
19) How religious would you describe yourself? Strict, moderate, liberal?
20) How religious would others describe you? Strict, moderate, liberal?
21) Why do you think some marriages succeed while other marriages fail?
22) If there was one thing you would want to change about yourself, what would it be?
23) If you thought your wife/husband was losing her physical attractiveness, would you not say anything or would you tell her/him? (if yes, how?)
24) There are disputes in every marriage, so if you are angry with your spouse, how would you visualize the issue being resolved?
25) What qualities are you looking for in a spouse?
26) Are there any annoying habits of friends that get on your nerves?
27) Different people have different ways of relieving stress, how do you deal with stress?
28) If you have a bad day at work, would your spouse ever know about? I mean do you come home and talk about it or do you just brush it off and you forget all about it until the next day?
29) If you found the right person for you but your mother doesn't like them because of invalid reason (e.g.
something cultural) and tells you that they don't want you to marry them, how would you react?
30) Do you want more than one wife?
31) Do you think a husband and wife should do everything together?
32) Do you think its normal for a husband and wife to have arguments?
33) Do you think a husband/wife have to agree on things to have peace between them?
34) If you came with a warning label, what would it be and why?
35) How often do you think a couple should see their in-laws?
