What would you do

[AnonymousPoster]

I didn't know he made any negative statements, well, I think the best thing for you to do, would get a third party to look at the guy/girl. Maybe a Aunt/Uncle, Cousin or something.

He didnt make negative statements about the person, infact generally speaking they got on too well
He said he is a very nice person just not the right person. I dont know what that means

Sis Zaara, JazakAllah Khair, I will speak more with my wali and Allah knows best

 

[Clover]

He didnt make negative statements about the person, infact generally speaking they got on too well
He said he is a very nice person just not the right person. I dont know what that means

Sis Zaara, JazakAllah Khair, I will speak more with my wali and Allah knows best

I have no clue what that means (the arabic, or whatever language that is lol) but good luck.

Well, I would say, saying he isn't the right person to be negative on the guy's part, but I can see why it wouldn't be negative too. I hope you've thought long and hard about marriage, it is a big commitment. I wish you luck. May your marriage go well, may you explore the world, be honest, and respectful, and die old and happy.

 

[BlissfullyJaded]

His concerns might be valid but they also might not be. The problem is that parents sometime work on feelings, and he may not have an actual reason. I know that there are times when things about people bother my father, but he won't reveal exactly what it is until the person blatantly does something dead wrong. In cases like this it sure doesn't help when they're all secretive though.

If your istikhara was made and it's positive, than maybe it's paranoia sis? Maybe he's just scared for you and something during the meeting was misconstrued. You did say the brother might have been a lil too moderate than he actually is, and maybe that bothered your father.

I don't know how long of an engagement your family typically goes for, but why don't you'll make it a several month engagement, and during that period with your families having much more communication a lot of things will come up that will either make it or break it..

May Allah grant you both nothing but the best and protect you both from harm. Ameen.

 

[Khalisah]

I am not sure of this sister's situation, but just wanted to divert a little...but how would a family go about doing background checks on some-one who is of a non-muslim background, therfore asking his/her parents is out of the question. Also if she has chosen him...there may not have been a middle common person, where do you go to get background information? And another huge factor maybe if they are of different races, as family's like same race marriages, because they imply that it is easier to do background checks, becasue some where along the line you find people common who can tell you about the family...etc? How should a family go about it?
Now for the sister is question!
I pray it works out for you inshaAllah! Marriage is hard these days, and even harder to gain parents permission. Alhamdulillah you have that! Do not worry too much about it going wrong, as that can happen with any marraige sister. Use your mind and heart, as often using just one can lead to confusion! And importantly as many others have suggested to pray istikhara!

"And among His Signs is this, He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between you (hearts)...." {30:21}