What would you select?

[Danah]

alhumdulilah that there are still those people who priorities deen (honestly)
but many (and I mean really many) of the other are contradicting themselves when they said that deen comes first....

I agree with brother dilkadr on his *present time*....many people changed their intentions la hawl wa la qwat ila billah

lets look at this scenario:

someone wanna describe a girl to the guy that he want to ask for her hand, the first thing they will say ..... ''masha allah she is pretty!! '' THEN....'' and she ALSO is a good worshiper '' subhan allah

 

[truemuslim]

Most people nowadays just look at beauty and status. they dont look at deen or nothing else.
In my opinion family status matters, but deen of course, matter WAY more. WHen she has deen and you have deen thats a recipe for the perfect religious life, and religious kids, you would support each other in not commiting haram, believe the same thing and fear the same one. But with beauty all you got is something good to look. Nothing else. yeh thats good to get that as an extra but not as a MAIN thing.

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Let's remember that all of us who aren't married are speaking theoretically, we really don't know what we'll do when we are actually engaged in the process of looking and getting married.

 

[truemuslim]

Let's remember that all of us who aren't married are speaking theoretically, we really don't know what we'll do when we are actually engaged in the process of looking and getting married.

lol good point. but we just looking to what we WOULD look at.

 

[Amatullah_]

Most people nowadays just look at beauty and status. they dont look at deen or nothing else.
In my opinion family status matters, but deen of course, matter WAY more. WHen she has deen and you have deen thats a recipe for the perfect religious life, and religious kids, you would support each other in not commiting haram, believe the same thing and fear the same one. But with beauty all you got is something good to look. Nothing else. yeh thats good to get that as an extra but not as a MAIN thing.

Exactly! Deen is priority! No doubt about it!

But...

Nothing wrong with wanting beauty, b/cus c'mon now lets be realistic...everyone loves beauty! (doesnt mean she/he has to have the looks of Miss/Mr Universe). You have to wake up and go to bed and see this person all around you your whole life so its only fair to say she/he must look a certain way for you. Besides, with all these women showing off their beauty for all men to google at, its best to marry someone you find attractive. Thats why we are encouraged to see the person whom we intend to marry, aint it?

That's why I asked to see my hubby b/4 marrying him. Although he had consented without seeing me (and he never lets me forget about it) I knew he had the qualities of a practicing Muslim, but I just needed to have a peek at what he looked like.:statisfie

 

[Afraa]

I would choose Deen but appearance is so hard to overlook. hmmm

 

[dilkadr]

:salamext:

What do u mean PRESENT TIMES?! Islam was always the same and will always remain the same! So even now the brothers and sisters choice should be islamic, as it is plain daft choosing someone 'fit and unislamic' over someone 'ugly and islamic' if they are gonna take you away from ur lord!!!!

U R Right Islam is same through the ages and will remain same...

but human beings keep changing,

for example, in some parts of world more then one marriages is OK. where in some parts it is not much appreciated.
or
in the time of Rasool Allah [PBUH] more then one marriages were OK. now a days it is not that much common.
or
in some parts of Muslim world women go to Masjids and in some part they are not going to Masjids.

 

[dilkadr]

:salamext:

I'm sorry but I wouldnt marry a woman, full stop.

WassalamuAlaykum

Oh, sorry... it is equally applicable for selecting a husband...

so what you would chose...

 

[dilkadr]

:salamext:

^ hahaha (!) Lol same thing applies to guys

u r right again...

 

[dilkadr]

akhee, lineage and status sort go in the same group, i think u missed out the most popular attribute.....im suprised you missed out.....wait for it.....beauty


most ppl, men and women, will marry for beauty and piety....i think were past the days marrying for wealth and status...unless ur a goldigga :X

yeah, i read the same in Urdu and it says beauty, education or wealth...

but i found it online. and i believe it is OK.....

 

[dilkadr]

Deen and intelligence.


Oh, no intelligence to choose? Deen only then. I've got enough intelligence for two, mashaAllah. He can just listen to me and my wisdom then. joking

ha ha ha,,,

do you think intelligent men exist....

i don't think so...

 

[Güven]

^Aghm *cough* *Cough* *COUGH* SOmething Wrong With My Throat Lol

Anyway This Is Goin Offtopic

 

[S_87]

Deen, looks (though beauty is in the eyes of the beholder ) and wealth/stability

 

[SubhanAllah!]

“A woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, status and Deen. Choose the one who is religious.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Well, it says choose the one who is religious... But, in present times, what would be your choice???

I would consider deen only, not interested in the other reasons. In present times if the partners do not have deen then the relationship is bound for disaster.

I would like a wife who would pray tahajjud with me. Husband and wife should help each other attain Jannah. Wealth, lineage and status are meaningless if there is no deen.

 

[dilkadr]

(doublechecks to make sure this isn't in the sister's section...:X)

i met a divorced sister living by herself, on section 8, and with no money. she told me that she gets up everday to read 1 Juz of the Qur'an before Fajr and that she fasts every Monday and Thursday...

we've been married for 14 months now! :thumbs_up

Subhan Allah... I believe both of you are lucky...

 

[dilkadr]

Let's remember that all of us who aren't married are speaking theoretically, we really don't know what we'll do when we are actually engaged in the process of looking and getting married.

You are right...

But it is just to know what is one persons mind or heart...

 

[doorster]

what is beautiful to one person may look to another as if they've just fallen out of ugly tree

anyhoo Anon says:

The foremost factor is that there should be harmony between both in terms of their financial status and religious set up. Religion is not a trivial matter to be ignored while choosing your prospective husband/wife.

Marriage means that two persons are going to live together for the rest of their lives. Whichever of them is lesser in financial status is going to end up as a virtual slave of the other (I know, I know, it is not like that in the elusive utopian world, but it is so in mine)

 

[------]

:salamext:

When the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said we should look at deen first, full stop. Why are we debating?

 

[doorster]

Does He (P.B.U.H) really say that to the exclusion of other conditions?
would you like to expand on that point? I dont mean by refering me back to the hadith but by quoting scholarly opinion which may include that or any number of other Ahadees

in any case it is LIStaff who stop debates not you or I

wa salaam

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:salamext:

When the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said we should look at deen first, full stop. Why are we debating?

:wasalamex

Sister, he also encouraged us to look at those who we want to marry.

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said to a man who told him that he had got engaged: "Have you looked at her?". The man replied: "No". He said to him: "Go and look at her, for it is more likely to create affection between the two of you".

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