What's the best way to forget about memories?

[missy]

I made the choice, Allah might have decreed it but he gave me the free will to make the choice so the question comes, was it the right 1. He never forced me to make the choice I made even though he knew which 1 I would make and it was in his decree. Is my understanding wrong?

These thoughts are not right because it's like expressing grief at the Will of Allah SWT…
Once we make a choice and something results from it we shouldn't say like "what if I had…"…cuz afterall it happened because Allah SWT Willed…and thinking over it again and again won't benefit anyway…unless one intends to learn from his mistakes and not merely lament over it and feel regretful….it also affects the other things in life, it decreases your enthusiasm in being persistent in doing good deeds…u get depressed for nothing at all….has happened with me quite a few times…personally, I feel it's from Shaytan and it just weakens your Eeman. We should be aware of his methods of misleading us!

The right way to deal with this problem is to
1) have complete TRUST in Allah (SWT)…cuz whateva happens is by His Will…so no matter what choice you make, it happens for the best and there is some wisdom behind it, which u might not realize at that moment...
2) b4 making a decision seek the help of Allah (SWT)….and whatever your heart finds peace in, go for it…you won't regret it, if Allah Wills.
And as the brother mentioned… one should always turn back to Allah SWT in all his affairs…v shud make a habit of praying Istikhara...there can't be any better help than the Help of Allah SWT!

This Hadith is somewhat related…
According to Wabisah bin Ma'bad, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said:I came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, and he said: "You have come to ask about righteousness?" " Yes," I answered. He said: "Consult your heart. Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil and the heart feels tranquil, and sin is what creates restlessness in the soul and moves to and fro in the breast, even though people give you their opinion (in your favor) and continue to do so."

A link which will hopefully help InshaAllah…
Ruling on using the words “if” or “if only”?

wassalaam.

 

[ProudMuslimSis]

I was just going to suggest TIME as the cure. And, to live in the present. Also, to consider that our mistakes are what make us who we are. Feel the emotions (sorrow, regret, shame, and so on,) and then let it go and move on with your life as we all know that life is short.

Please see the great link that was provided above by PeaceLover. I am very thankful for it and have included a portion of the page below.

1. To express grief for the past and distress what has been decreed. This is what is not allowed, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Be not like those who disbelieve (hypocrites) and who say to their brethren when they travel through the earth or go out to fight: ‘If they had stayed with us, they would not have died or been killed,’ so that Allaah may make it a cause of regret in their hearts”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:156]

This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade when he said, “If anything happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such, then such and such would have happened.’ Say instead, ‘Qaddar Allaah wa maa sha’a kaan (Allaah decreed and what He wills happens), for ‘If only’ opens the door to the Shaytaan”, i.e., it makes you vulnerable to grief and fear, which is harmful to you and is of no benefit. Know that whatever befalls you, you could not have avoided, and whatever does not happen to you, you could not have made it happen to you, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):​

“No calamity befalls, but by the Leave [i.e. Decision and Qadar (Divine Preordainments)] of Allaah, and whosoever believes in Allaah, He guides his heart” [al-Taghaabun 64:11]​

They said, this is a man to whom calamity happens, but he knows that it is from Allaah, so he accepts it and submits.

 

[Riana17]

We will forget everything when we die . Full stop that's the easiest answer . I don't think that i will forget lifting chopped bodies of my friends in south lebanon when i was in the army.

I am speechless brother imsadimsadimsad

 

[Salahudeen]

I'm not sure how to answer this bro. However, this kind of question, I never personally have cause to ask myself. Simply because I never allow myself to be in such a position.

You can do it too. Take the fact that we don't know what the future will hold for us. This means, every choice we make, ideally we should make it after having consultation with Allah via dua and istikharah. E.g. even something simple like 'Oh Allah, guide me to whichever action is good for me in the long run' will do.

Now, when we make dua, we ought to do it with full conviction, we should have trust/tawakul in Allah and fully submit our cause to him when we make our dua and accept his wisdom over us. That way, we remain content whatever happens, as we know Allah is the one who guided is in our choice (remember, full conviction, hence there is no doubt that it is Allah's guidance, even if things seem bad on the surface). So since we have sought advice from Allah (the All Wise) we never let ourselves get into a position where we need to wonder whether we made the right choice, because by default it's going to be the best one. We have to trust in Allah, of course.

Try to make it habit to ask Allah for guidance on even the smallest of matters.

The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, "Strange is the affair of the Mu'min (the believer), verily all his affairs are good for him. If something pleasing befalls him he thanks (Allah) and it becomes better for him. And if something harmful befalls him he is patient (Saabir) and it becomes better for him. And this is only for the Mu'mmin." [Muslim]

Well brother, I did not make istikhara but I did frequently make du'a to Allah saying, "If this thing is bad for my duniya and akhira then take it away from me" I would make this du'a often and after a while events happened that left me feeling really negative so I made a decision. Now I'm just wondering if it was the right thing I did.

It must be the right decision cos Allah caused events to happen that left me feeling negative so I would make the choice I made right? If he didn't want me to make the choice I made he wouldn't have caused those events to occur that left me feeling negative right? I know Allah wants the best for us so he must've led me to make the decision I made right?

 

[Riana17]

Salam to all

Personally, I find the best way to forget bad memories is to look ahead. What happened has gone and can never change.
I picture my life as a book.
You do one page at a time, accept each page as it happens, no matter how bad or good it is, then go on the next page.
My life has not been good as far as luck or circumstance goes, i had to work since 8yrs old, my father and grandmother treated me unjustly, then when i turned 16 my sister asked me to join her overseas and life becomes a nightmare for 3yrs,

my sister studied (school) islam for like 7years but never learned any of it. Allah made her totally blind.

 

[Who Am I?]

Salam to all

Personally, I find the best way to forget bad memories is to look ahead. What happened has gone and can never change.
I picture my life as a book.
You do one page at a time, accept each page as it happens, no matter how bad or good it is, then go on the next page.
My life has not been good as far as luck or circumstance goes, i had to work since 8yrs old, my father and grandmother treated me unjustly, then when i turned 16 my sister asked me to join her overseas and life becomes a nightmare for 3yrs,

my sister studied (school) islam for like 7years but never learned any of it. Allah made her totally blind.

Well it's like I said earlier in the thread, I think Allah puts people in your life and puts you in a place for a reason. Your life has made you who you are today, just as mine has made me who I am.

 

[Precious Star]

The mind is a powerful organ. Human beings can train themselves to do almost anything, it just takes hard work.

If you have bad memories that are holding you back, then you can train yourself to stop thinking about them. Just put your mind to that task, and IA it will happen. If you keep holding onto bad memories, you will get "stuck" and never move forward.