whats worse? engaging in masterbation or drinking

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Lisa921

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Assalamu alaykum
I am a single woman living and earning my living as a cook. It is a stressful job and sometimes I just need to relax to keep my sanity. I know we all have needs love, sex, sleep, eating and drinking...but I can't satisfy all those needs being a single person and I find masterbation to be more harmful than good. I don't know about having a glass of wine/liquor to ease my stress and angst. I know its haram but I feel its a necessary evil in my situation. it keeps me relaxed and from engaging in haram sexual activity. I don't know if this is a fair trade off...i know im gaining sins by drinking a small bit of alcohol to take the edge off. However, if it prevents me from a greater evil then what?
I don't know how quran can ease stress. I personally love quran but listening to it in arabic doesn't affect me because im english and I don't understand arabic words.
perhaps i am misguided and ignorant. I would like to know other peoples experiences with this. and help in this situation.
I never drink to get drunk. Nor do I go to clubs to drink. I simply drink what i bought from a liquor store on my own.
i make sure im alone when i drink so that nobody can hurt me when if I drink too much.
I am not sad or depressed thats not why i try alcohol. I simply have the life pressure that builds and builds and i find that the alcohol sooothes that bad energy. after i drink i feel relaxed and less nervous.
 
I would say drinking alcohol purposely is worse, as you can't pray for a certain amount of days after drinking. Whereas you can do ghusl, repent and pray after masturbating
 
really? I didn't have any idea of that...i will research it more
Jazak allah khayr
 
:salams

I really hate masturbating. Sounds disgusting. I'd do stretches. Stretch your body, wherever you feel heavy.

And Allah :swt: knows best.
 
lostbint said:
I would say drinking alcohol purposely is worse, as you can't pray for a certain amount of days after drinking. Whereas you can do ghusl, repent and pray after masturbating
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Salaam alaykum
Are you talking about this hadith mentioned below. It says drinking to get drunk. BUt I am not talking about getting drunk. I am talking about just enough to take the edge off.
[FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]One of these ahaadeeth was narrated by Ibn Maajah (3377) from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever drinks alcohol and gets drunk, his prayer will not be accepted for forty days and if he dies he will go to Hell. But if he repents, Allaah will accept his repentance. If he again drinks alcohol and gets drunk, his prayer will not be accepted for forty days and if he dies he will go to Hell. But if he repents, Allaah will accept his repentance. If he again drinks alcohol and gets drunk, his prayer will not be accepted for forty days and if he dies he will go to Hell. But if he repents, Allaah will accept his repentance. If he commits (this sin) again, then Allaah pledges to make him drink the mud of khabaal on the Day of Resurrection.” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is the mud of khabaal?” He said, “The juices of the people of Hell.”

[/FONT]
 
We can´t recommend to make one sin because it would be less than an other. Sin is a sin. If you think now that alcohol (just a small amount of it) helps you to relax, be careful. Alcohol is an addictive drug like every drugs. Once you like to take it, another time again and sooner than you can realise, you can´t feel yourself happy without it.

If you feel your job or some other situation in the life cause you stress, you should think how to get rid of kind of stress and resolve the basic problems which makes your situation so stressful. Easing the symptons doesn´t cure your situation at all. It´s like a disease; you have to get right treatment, not only some meds which makes you feel well for a moment.
 
Wa alaykum assalam,

As sister herb said, in Islam we need to avoid all haraam actions. Two wrongs don't make a right. As far as drinking alcohol, even if you do not become drunk, taking even a small sip is prohibited because of the greater evil it is capable of. Read this hadith:

Jabir reported the Messenger of Allah as saying, "If a large amount of anything causes intoxication, a small amount of it is prohibited." [At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah]

Both of these things cause equally severe harm in my opinion, in different ways - both are addictive and if to leave one thing you become addicted to another harmful things your problem isn't going to change,. These things just treat the symtpoms, not the cause. You need to find the cause of your true stress and unhappiness and sort that out - then inshaAllah you'll find relief.

Look for help from within yourself and most importantly from Allah swt - not material or worldly objects and most of all not prohibited ones.
 
Wa'alaikumsalam.

I will not talk about halal and haram. But, from my life experience, drink alcohol to relieve stress is not a good idea. For a while you will feel relax, but then it will make you depend on alcohol. So, when you get a problem, instead of solve the problem you will run to alcohol, get drunk, but the problem itself still not be solved. Yeah, I was a drinker when I was young.

It's better if you relieve your stress through recreation or do activity that you like.
 
:wa:

A sin is a sin. Whether minor or major. It's still a sin. On the one hand, you have a deadly depressant which will only cause you harm and intoxicate you in the process. And on the other hand you have a shameful act which is forbidden in Islam. BOTH are sins.

Drinking alcohol whether it's to get drunk or not is HARAM:
Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever drinks alcoholic drinks in the world and does not repent (before dying), will be deprived of it in the Hereafter."
[Sahih al-Bukhari 5575]

I'd advise you not to even take a sip of it as sister Noraina already gave a hadith explaining why.
Jabir reported the Messenger of Allah as saying, "If a large amount of anything causes intoxication, a small amount of it is prohibited." [At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah]

Alcohol is a depressant sister. It will only make you more depressed, more stressful and worst of all you are ruining your relation with Allah SWT in the process of drinking.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "An adulterer, at the time he is committing illegal sexual intercourse is not a believer; and a person, at the time of drinking an alcoholic drink is not a believer; and a thief, at the time of stealing, is not a believer." Ibn Shihab said: `Abdul Malik bin Abi Bakr bin `Abdur-Rahman bin Al- Harith bin Hisham told me that Abu Bakr used to narrate that narration to him on the authority of Abu Huraira. He used to add that Abu Bakr used to mention, besides the above cases, "And he who robs (takes illegally something by force) while the people are looking at him, is not a believer at the time he is robbing (taking).
[Sahih al-Bukhari 5578]

Again, it doesn't matter whether you drink to get drunk or to relieve anxiety. IT IS PROHIBITED, Period.

You say it's "necessary evil in my situation". You've heard the saying "Two wrongs don't make a right". Why not instead of drinking, find comfort in your Lord by making dua to Him and remembering him by making dhikr. Or get involved in other recreational activities (whilst fulfilling your religious duties of course). What are your hobbies? Do you have any good Muslims friends who you can interact and spend time with? Anything halal to keep your mind off your stress.

You said "I personally love quran but listening to it in arabic doesn't affect me because im english and I don't understand arabic words" It's all good to listen to the Quran whether it be in English or Arabic, But what's the point if you don't ponder over what Allah SWT is really trying to tell you:
"[This is] a blessed Book which We have revealed to you, [O Muhammad], that they might reflect upon its verses and that those of understanding would be reminded." [Surah Saad Verse 29]
"Then do they not reflect upon the Qur'an, or are there locks upon [their] hearts?" [Surah Muhammad Verse 24]

We live in a generation where access to such things is literally a few minutes if not seconds away from us. Here's a link to the Quran in English: https://quran.com/
Whenever you have the time read it and reflect on the verses of your Lord.

Seek help in Allah SWT and ask HIM to remove your anxiety, sorrows, worries and stress, ask Him to convert those into joy and happiness Insha'Allah.
 
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Wa'alaikum as'salaam,

Perhaps rather then those two options, you should see if there's another more halal option available? What lot of people do is take up going to the gym, it's a healthy way to reduce stress and make the body feel good. If the job is causing you to sin then perhaps looking for another job is something you may have to consider, one that is not as stressful.

[h=3]Exercise and stress relief[/h]
Exercise increases your overall health and your sense of well-being, also has some direct stress-busting benefits.
  • It pumps up your endorphins. Physical activity helps bump up the production of your brain's feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Although this function is often referred to as a runner's high, a rousing game of tennis or a nature hike also can contribute to this same feeling.
  • It's meditation in motion. After a fast-paced game of racquetball or several laps in the pool, you'll often find that you've forgotten the day's irritations and concentrated only on your body's movements.
    As you begin to regularly shed your daily tensions through movement and physical activity, you may find that this focus on a single task, and the resulting energy and optimism, can help you remain calm and clear in everything you do.
  • It improves your mood. Regular exercise can increase self-confidence, it can relax you, and it can lower the symptoms associated with mild depression and anxiety. Exercise can also improve your sleep, which is often disrupted by stress, depression and anxiety. All of these exercise benefits can ease your stress levels and give you a sense of command over your body and your life.

see also https://www.active.com/fitness/articles/7-ways-exercise-relieves-stress
 
People who masturbate will tell you it's healthy and natural and people who drink will tell you that "science" has studies saying it can be healthy in moderation. And the. of course there will be a new study 2 years later saying its not good for you. Rinse and repeat for the next x amount of years..

Neither of these are good. Mastubration is something that you can and probably will get addicted to. As a single person especially, the feelings and emotions you get are natural.. Afterall, we're human. I'm single too and I know the struggle. I work in a skilled trade and have done some contracting work for kitchens. I could never work in that environment. Everyone is always hyped up! So props to you for sticking with it. If ramadhan has taught us anything, it's patience and not to give in to our temptations/desires (among other things of course). Although one is satisfication through eating/drinking and the other is physical satisfication, I think the lesson still applies. Use your free time in something more productive. Excercise is an excellent suggestion. Again, being single makes it tougher as having someone with you is more motivating, at least for me anyways, but there are other things you can do to use your time towards.

I don't know how long you've been drinking for but, most addictions start off with "just a little". Look at people who get addicted to their medications. Even something as simple as a sleeping pill. After you know it, you no longer feel any effects from the one pill your prescribed, so now you take two. After a while, two isn't enough and so on. Same thing can happen with alcohal. You sip a little here and there, then you move on to drinking a cup a night. Then several cups a day. Then straight from the bottle. Right now a couple sips here and there might be enough for the stress your enduring at the moment, but when you get even more stressed, those sips may not be enough.

If you want to kick both of these habits, you genuinly have to put the effort in as it won't be easy. There were a 'Ted talks' videos regarding addictions and masturbation was one of them. It was a guy talking but, maybe that will help you get the start you need to stop doing it.
 
Allah doesn't want us to proclaim sins that He has covered if we have the will to and try to walk aright in due humility to Allah and we repent to Allah, i can assure you that alcohol makes one think of and feel like doing a lot of evil things, and even people who don't drink sometimes have wet dreams, and it is much better to marry a spouse who is true to Allah, since that would help to rectify the situation at least a little and at most a lot.

Also bear in mind that shaytaan is often able to throw all sorts of corrupt fantasies into the mind of a person who masturbates and the corrupt fantasies appear to be the psychologically corruptive and degenerating aspects of masturbation since haraam thinking and laughing during bad statements and actions in comediy shows rewires the brain in a twisted way which in turn harms society and can make it difficult for progeny to resist harmful temptations, whereas pure and halal thinking is good for us and for society and makes it easier for our progeny to do good and to resist evil temptations.

We would do good to think carefully about the floodgates we can open and may Allah guide and preserve us so that we can be a source of good for ourselves and for those whom we leave behind.

Hadith*no: 607Narrated / Authority Of:*Anas bin Malik:

Umm Sulaim who was the grandmother of Ishaq came to the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) in the presence of 'A'isha and said to him: Messenger of Allah, in case or woman sees what a man sees in dream and she experiences in dream what a man experiences (i. e. experiences orgasm)?
Upon this 'A'isha remarked: O Umm Sulaim, you brought humiliation to women; may your right hand be covered with dust.
He (the Holy Prophet) said to 'A'isha: Let your hand be covered with dust, and (addressing Umm Sulaim) said: Well, O Umm Sulaim, she should take a bath if she sees that (i. e. she experiences orgasm in dream).

http://mobile.ahadith.co.uk/chapter.php?page=4&cid=74

Maybe daydreaming is usually more powerful than sleepdreaming so it's best to do what's better and best.


Also, a noble quality of the seal of the Prophet's (pbuh&t) which it is good to try to keep in mind is that he would not usually point out or name a person for their bad qualities or mistakes but would usually choose to define bad qualities for everyone to bear in mind:

One will notice a constant awareness beyond the presence of the situation and a deep
ability to be objective and descriptive in passing judgement or speaking with very limited "you, me, he (name)/she(name)"

286.
Narrated Abu Humaid Al-Sa`idi
The Prophet appointed a man from the tribe of Bani Asad, called Ibn Al-Utabiyya to collect the Zakat. When he returned (with the money) he said (to the Prophet), "This is for you and this has been given to me as a gift."
The Prophet stood up on the pulpit (Sufyan said he ascended the pulpit), and after glorifying and praising Allah, he said,
"What is wrong with the employee whom we send (to collect Zakat from the public) that he returns to say, 'This is for you and that is for me?' Why didn't he stay at his father's and mother's house to see whether he will be given gifts or not? By Him in Whose Hand my life is, whoever takes anything illegally will bring it on the Day of Resurrection by carrying it over his neck: if it is a camel, it will be grunting: if it is a cow, it will be mooing: and if it is a sheep it will be bleating!"
The Prophet then raised both his hands till we saw the whiteness of his armpits (and he said), "No doubt! Haven't I conveyed Allah's Message?" And he repeated it three times.

292.
Narrated Um Salama(the wife of the Prophet) Allah's Apostle heard some people quarreling at the door of his dwelling, so he went out to them and said, "I am only a human being, and litigants with cases of dispute come to me, and someone of you may happen to be more eloquent (in presenting his case) than the other, whereby I may consider that he is truthful and pass a judgment in his favor.
If ever I pass a judgment in favor of somebody whereby he takes a Muslim's right unjustly, then whatever he takes is nothing but a piece of Fire, and it is up to him to take or leave."

293.Narrated `Aisha(the wife of the Prophet) `Utba bin Abi Waqqas said to his brother Sa`d bin Abi Waqqas, "The son of the slave girl of Zam`a is from me, so take him into your custody." So in the year of Conquest of Mecca, Sa`d took him and said. (This is) my brother's son whom my brother has asked me to take into my custody." `Abd bin Zam`a got up before him and said, (He is) my brother and the son of the slave girl of my father, and was born on my father's bed." So they both submitted their case before Allah's Apostle. Sa`d said, "O Allah's Apostle! This boy is the son of my brother and he entrusted him to me." `Abd bin Zam`a said, "This boy is my brother and the son of the slave girl of my father, and was born on the bed of my father." Allah's Apostle said, "The boy is for you, O `Abd bin Zam`a!"
Then Allah's Apostle further said,
"The child is for the owner of the bed, and the stone is for the adulterer,"
He then said to Sauda bint Zam`a, "Veil (screen) yourself before him," when he saw the child's resemblance to `Utba. The boy did not see her again till he met Allah.

http://theonlyquran.com/hadith/Sahih-Bukhari/?chapter=89&hadith=285&pagesize=10


Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet (saws) said: "He who performs Hajj for Allah's pleasure and avoids all lewdness and sins will return after Hajj free from all sins as he was the day his mother gave birth to him."

Related by Bukhari and Muslim.

*

Amr ibn al-'As says: "When Allah guided me to Islam, I went to the Prophet (saws) and said to him: 'O Prophet of Allah (saws)! Stretch out your hand so that I may pledge my allegiance to you.'*The Prophet (saws) stretched out his hand to me, but I withdrew my hand.*The Prophet (saws) asked: 'O 'Amr! what is the matter with you?'*I said: 'I would like to stipulate a condition! ' The Prophet (saws) asked: 'What is it?' I said: 'That all my past sins be forgiven!'
The Prophet (saws) said: 'O 'Amr! Do you not know that Islam wipes off all past sins, and hijrah (leaving ones home and hearth for Allah's cause) wipes off all sins, and (similarly) Hajj wipes off all past sins!"'

Related by Muslim.

*

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud narrated that the Prophet (saws) said: "Alternate between Hajj and 'Umrah (regularly), for these two remove poverty and sins just as the blacksmith's bellows removes all impurities from metals like iron, gold and silver. The reward for Hajj Mabrur (accepted by Allah) is nothing short of Paradise."

Related by Nasa'i and Tirmidhi.

http://islamhelpline.net/node/2331
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both are just as bad as each other..

if you don't drink and a drinker turns up.



I prefer the natural state of socially awkward
 
to be fair I'm not one to say video games promote violent behaviour..

but you would be surprised at how morbid behaviour almost creeps up on people.

some things are literally made with intent..

and really do lead to depravity of thought and a corruption of every original thought a person has.

you would need to be able to think twice to tell the difference though..

although the man with two brains should really put the second one somewhere sensible.

Islamic board is a testament to how moderate Muslims approach those open to such desires..

I have seen several threads on the subject of masturbation and they have some pretty reasonable answers.

..they are like self help groups where you don't need to shake hands.

your post however really does miss the issue.. you might not want me to tell people to cover up..

but ultimately it is you that make the laws so we cannot cover up.

funny how that works.

...well at least I thought it was you.

on the subject of alcohol, Americas prohibition era should serve as a reminder of how things could be.. and who would advocate it's abolition.
 
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Based on my knowledge, I would say alcohol is a tad worse, but both are bad!

And Allah (SWT) knows best.
 
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:wa:

Read Quran with meaning. Read lives of Prophets pbut, companions. They were the blessed people but faced many trials . They did not intentionally commit sin to reduce stress.

Think more about life hereafter. How you can make palaces there. Keep asking Allah to help u.

Offer salat in time. In sha Allah, you will be able to stay away from sins - both major and minor.
 
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Salam. Masturbation is controversial but drinking alcohol is certainly haram. There are some other ways to reduce stress so alcohol is not a right option Islamically.
 
anatolian said:
Salam. Masturbation is controversial but drinking alcohol is certainly haram. There are some other ways to reduce stress so alcohol is not a right option Islamically.
Click to expand...

How is it controversial? I am beyond any doubt, certain it is haram.

And Allah :swt: knows best.
 
anatolian said:
Salam. Masturbation is controversial but drinking alcohol is certainly haram. There are some other ways to reduce stress so alcohol is not a right option Islamically.
Click to expand...

:wa:
Can you explain how it is controversial? One must guard his private parts unless it be for his spouse, So I don't see what's so controversial about it?
 
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