whats wrong with me?

[AnonymousPoster]

1 month im doing very well in islam, my gaze is lowerd not checking out girls
the next month
im checking out girls, talking to them
the month after that, im thinking about drinking
and yesterday i drunk

i hate myself, i somtimes think to myself why cant i be a good muslim. o allah please forgive me for all the haram things ihave done in life.

 

[kwolney01]

Have you ever thought of the things that may be leading you to slip up and make these mistakes? It could be the friends you are hanging out with or the environment you live in. I am a revert to Islam, and before Islam I drank a lot and hung out with a lot of people who were bad for me. I still talk to some of them still today, but I try my hardest to keep my distance from them. They know that I am Muslim now and I do not drink or smoke anymore. I don't know what your situation is but make dua to Allah and dua for strength and guidance. Allah knows best and this life is a test for all of us. Don't think you are the only one that gets tempted. I still get tempted by alcohol and I know that, that is my weakness so I stay away from situations that have something to do with alcohol.

I wish you the best and stay strong.

Allah Alum

Jazak Allah Khair

 

[Ansariyah]

MashaALlah sis kwolney01 gave u a wicked advice. implement it. InshaAllah.

 

[chacha_jalebi]

subhanallah,

bro/sister

you just need to try to remain steadfast, like have a consistency, remember this world is nothin, you aint here for long, so why make all the effort in the world, make the effort for the next world, this life is a journey, all you gotta do is travel safely and you can only do that by followin Islaam, and when you do travel safely, you will have jannah

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

futuwatus-shaytan... the footsteps of shaytan akhee

i get ya, i had loadsa bros say exactly what you said to me in real life... all i can say is repent n try again - stay away from as much bad as you can.



im not perfect either, i feel messed up sometimes too... and during those times my heart turns to Allah so much...

 

[AnonymousPoster]

i guess im 2 be blamed for everything

 

[Ansariyah]

i guess im 2 be blamed for everything

dont be hard on urself, do ur best. ur a muslim, ur human no one is perfect. what matters most is that u repent n try to change. Allah is letting u still breathe, so u have time inshaAllah to correct ur ways.

Shaitan is out there tryna lure u into his trap. You have to learn to say no...

try hangin with practising bros.

dua is the weapon of the believer.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

i have alot of same problem as you not on the drinking but i have many guys who are friends so its difficult imsad and i feel like a bad muslimah when i talk to them.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

just out of curiosity... what made you wanna drink?

surely not the smell, surely not the taste!


think bout it bro

 

[qassy!]

stay strong brother try to avoid gash n clubs will help

 

[Danah]

brother, you have to look more at who you are hung out with, or what are things that you have done lately and cause you to do haram, then try to change or stop doing such factors
sometimes, there are something new in our habit showed up without us knowing and cause us to go astray without even realizing them

may allah Guide you to the right path

 

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,
​

Ruling on taking sinners as friends
​

​

Question: Is it permissible for a man who practice Islam to talk, be friendly, and take a person who is Muslim by name alone who drinks alcohol and does not pray as a friend and a helper? what is the ruling regarding taking those who do not practice their religion and go directly against Allah's commandments as friends and helpers?

Answer: Praise be to Allaah.

Sins are of two types:



1 – Those which constitute kufr and put a person beyond the pale of Islam – we seek refuge with Allaah. The one who commits such sins is a kaafir who is beyond the pale of Islam if the conditions for describing him as a kaafir are met and there are no impediments to doing so – such as one who associates others in worship with Allaah, or does not pray at all, and so on.



2 – Sins which do not constitute kufr and do not put a person beyond the pale of Islam, but the one who does them is described as faasiq (rebellious evildoer) and a believer who is lacking in faith, such as zina (illicit sexual relationships), drinking alcohol and so on, if he does not regard these actions as permissible. If he does regard them as permissible, then this puts him beyond the pale of Islam, if the conditions for describing him as a kaafir are met and there are no impediments to doing so. The belief of Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah and the consensus of the salaf is that a person who commits a major sin but does not regard it as permissible is not to be regarded as a kaafir. For more information see the answer to question no. 9924.



Once this is understood, then the ruling on making friends with people is based on the above.



It is not permissible to take kaafirs as close friends, or to mix with them and feel friendly towards them, or to live amongst them and take them as friends, or to love them, or to prefer them over the believers and so on. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

​

​

“You (O Muhammad) will not find any people who believe in Allaah and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad), even though they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred (people). For such He has written Faith in their hearts, and strengthened them with Rooh (proofs, light and true guidance) from Himself. And He will admit them to Gardens (Paradise) under which rivers flow, to dwell therein (forever). Allaah is pleased with them, and they with Him. They are the party of Allaah. Verily, it is the party of Allaah that will be the successful”​

​

[al-Mujaadilah 58:22]
​

But we are obliged to treat them fairly and justly, and not wrong them or commit acts of aggression against them with no shar’i reason. It is permissible to interact with them by buying, selling, lending, etc. It is narrated in saheeh reports that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) borrowed a weapon from Safwaan ibn Umayyah, and that he bought food from the Jews.



With regard to sinning Muslims, we should love them according to the faith that they have, and hate them according to the sins and immoral actions they commit, but being friends with them goes against the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of a perfume seller and one who works the bellows. With the perfume seller, either he will give you something or you will buy something from him, or you will notice a good smell from him, but with the one who works the bellows, either he will burn your clothes or you notice a bad smell from him.” Narrated by Muslim, no. 2628.

But if the intention behind sitting with this person is to soften his heart and call him to Allaah, and guide him to the right path, then this is a virtuous action, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ​

“And who is better in speech than he who [says: “My Lord is Allaah (believes in His Oneness),” and then stands firm (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allaah’s (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds”
[Fussilat 41:33]

But this is subject to the condition that he should not have any effect on you or cause you any harm when you are seeking good.
​

​

Based on the above, if the person you are asking about does not pray at all, then he is a kaafir, because the most correct scholarly view, which is the view of the salaf, if that the one who does not pray is a kaafir in the sense of major kufr, and is beyond the pale of Islam. For more information on the evidence on that, please see questions no. 2182, 5208, 6035, 33007, 10094. Based on this, it is not permissible to befriend him or be close to him, rather he should be called to repent to Allaah and pray regularly. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they repent [by rejecting Shirk (polytheism) and accept Islamic Monotheism], perform As-Salaah (Iqaamat-as-Salaah) and give Zakaah, then they are your brethren in religion”
[al-Tawbah 9:11]

It should be noted that keeping company with good people is something enjoined by our Lord, may He be exalted, and our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as mentioned in the hadeeth quoted above. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ​

“O you who believe! Fear Allaah, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds)”
[al-Tawbah 9:119]

“And keep yourself (O Muhammad) patiently with those who call on their Lord (i.e. your companions who remember their Lord with glorification, praising in prayers, and other righteous deeds) morning and afternoon, seeking His Face”

[al-Kahf 18:28]
​

And Allaah knows best.


Source

 

[Tony]

Allah created you, nothing wrong with you at all. Could start by not stating you hate yourself in an open forum and go from there.May Allah guide you

 

[M..x]

i guess im 2 be blamed for everything

Fo' drinking? Yes. Fo' checking gyal or whatever? Yes.
Sorry just faut I drop it straight. Buh like, if you know its wrong to drink [gotta be kinda dizzy not to] refrain from it enit. I'm sure you ent got no addiction to that crap so dun't let tha haraam into your bloodstream. Its durty man, why drink that when you got RedBull Buh serious, dun't get influenced by them waisemans that go take in that . . . . Like you just gotta have faith in yourself enit. Hope you got tha ability to stop it, cause its real bad like... Salaaam

 

[Leyla73]

1 month im doing very well in islam, my gaze is lowerd not checking out girls
the next month
im checking out girls, talking to them
the month after that, im thinking about drinking
and yesterday i drunk

i hate myself, i somtimes think to myself why cant i be a good muslim. o allah please forgive me for all the haram things ihave done in life.

It's normal. I mean, it's not normal that you drink and stuff, but that you make mistakes and that you are tempted by doing bad stuff.. Shaytan is around... lol
But i think that, like everyone said already, you should stop hanging out with the people that drink and stuff with you. Don't argue or anything, but jst don't go to places with them where you're sure that they'll drink and stuff
Good luck anyways!

 

[AnonymousPoster]

It's normal. I mean, it's not normal that you drink and stuff, but that you make mistakes and that you are tempted by doing bad stuff.. Shaytan is around... lol
But i think that, like everyone said already, you should stop hanging out with the people that drink and stuff with you. Don't argue or anything, but jst don't go to places with them where you're sure that they'll drink and stuff
Good luck anyways!

Why has Allah created Shaytan, to test us humans? But if Allah knows everything dont you think he'll know what where doing in life?

If true, technically everything we are doing now is already written

Fo' drinking? Yes. Fo' checking gyal or whatever? Yes.
Sorry just faut I drop it straight. Buh like, if you know its wrong to drink [gotta be kinda dizzy not to] refrain from it enit. I'm sure you ent got no addiction to that crap so dun't let tha haraam into your bloodstream. Its durty man, why drink that when you got RedBull Buh serious, dun't get influenced by them waisemans that go take in that . . . . Like you just gotta have faith in yourself enit. Hope you got tha ability to stop it, cause its real bad like... Salaaam

thanks for that sister, but you know i dont get drunk nor im addict, i just do it 2 get tipsy when i go clubbin

 

[Niyya Safya]

Asalamu Alaikum

Brother, yeah Allah (SWT) knows all that we are going to do (wouldn't you be suspicious if Allah had 'The All-Knowing' as one His names if he truly did not know everything?), but we make the decision to do good or bad. No one is taking you by the hand, forcing you to drink or date or whatever haram against your will. Allah (SWT) knows ahead of time what we are going to do & that information is written. All that doesn't change the fact that you choose your actions.

I know I'm just repeating what everyone has already told you, but wallahi the environment can make such a big difference. When you're in the right environment you get into the habit of just wanting to do good. Not only do you want to do good, but you would a great love for the good & would have hate & disgust for the haraam (esp. the ones you have committed in your past.)

Keep to your sallaa - never forsake that.

There a couple things many people recommend when it comes to dealing with the opposite gender like lowering the gaze (as you mentioned), fasting, remembering death (the killer of desires,) thennn, of course, there's marriage.

Whatever your decision - don't buy your akhira with your dunya - that is the ultimate way to rip yourself off. This life is so short, so temporary. Akhira is forever.

 

[Yanal]

Just like chacha said don't do bad deeds do good deeds. Speak good or remain silent In the matter of talking to girls and hope everything will turn out right inshallah.

 

[Yanal]

And no Allah hasn't created the shytaan at first he turned into it himself by disobeying Allah.