Whats your opinion on arranged marriage?

  • Thread starter Thread starter qassy!
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 87
  • Views Views 12K

Do you agree with arranged marriages?

  • Total voters
    0
Status
Not open for further replies.
snakelegs said:
you have a point.
but i think that what most of us in the west see as "love" is nothing but sexual attraction and when the excitement wears off, so does the "love", which is why such a huge percentage of marriages end in divorce.
love and sexual attraction are not at all the same thing.
Click to expand...
thank you!!!

many posters here are confusing lust with love, but to explain that I'll need to delve in to realms of almost obscene detail.

Re: arranged marriages:

thread starter is using the practice of some formerly poverty stricken (and still illiterate) third world people --- who use their children to bring their relative out of poverty through marriage --- to discredit the arranged marriage system where a matchmaker may be used to find a suitable partner for someone where consent is always required, sought and given.

its like saying
all Muslims are busy terrorizing westerns
all Italians are mafiosi
all Hindus sacrifice babies to kali
all Americans are busy robbing Muslim countries' resources
All Saudi Scholars can either be bought for a few dollars or are on payroll of Saud family

and etcetera etcetera
 
Last edited:
Omari said:
HOW TO FALL IN LOVE (3 steps)
Find a complete stranger.

Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.

Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying why people fall in love.

He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt deeply attracted after the 34 minute experiment. Two of his subjects later got married.
Click to expand...

Well I highly doubt that people could get in love in 34 minutes.

But why try get in love with a person? Love is something that comes to you, you don't create it yourself, it is not supposed to be created by you.
True love is when you see a girl on the street and would without a doubt take a bullet for her, that without even knowing her or having talked to her.

The other love is created love; You get together with a person and end up being with each other many hours a day, you start building up the relationship
believing that it is your duty to do so, and believing that, THAT is love. But if you ask me I would not call that love.

I suppose I believe in love at first sight!
 
then my brother, you are a victim of the illusion created by the 'chemical cocktails' . Not saying its a bad thing. Omari
 
I think "lust" is a necessary part of "love".... without "sexual attraction" is difficult to love someone. But that is not bad, it is just another part of "the love process".
 
It depends what is meant by "arranged marriage".
If it's the kind that's planned ever since the man and woman are children, and they don't even know each other, then I disagree with that.
If it's a forced marriage, I definitely disagree.

This is how I think marriage should be. Either some guy/their mother/relatives/whatever is interested in a woman. They come over to meet the family. If things go well, the couple meet in supervision of the families, and they talk, to see if their personalities are compatible. After several of these meetings, if they get along and are compatible, they get married. If they don't, then that's the end of it, no harm done. Imho, anyway.
 
NoName55 said:
do you lust after your mom? siblings?your children?your pets?
Click to expand...

That´s different love. You can´t compare the "love between two strangers" with the examples you said.

I will quote one source of Islam to reply to you:

Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. '"


So..... the importance of "beauty", that is very different from person to person, is already implied in Islam. And "beauty" has a very close relation with "lust" and "sexual attraction".
 
:salamext:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder :D

Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. '"
Click to expand...

In that, religion comes first :)
 
ricardo_sousa said:
That´s different love. You can´t compare the "love between two strangers" with the examples you said.

I will quote one source of Islam to reply to you:

Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. '"


So..... the importance of "beauty", that is very different from person to person, is already implied in Islam. And "beauty" has a very close relation with "lust" and "sexual attraction".
Click to expand...
I dare not reply to your rubbish anymore until an adult mod comes on line (if I reply before he is on, the way I want to, a power mad moddes will get this thread moved to one of her forums to be able to zap them like yesterday)
`A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. '"
Click to expand...
`A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser.'"
 
Last edited:
NoName55 said:
I dare not reply to your rubbish anymore until an adult mod comes on line (if I reply before he is on, the way I want to, a power mad moddes will get this thread moved to one of her forums to be able to zap them like yesterday)
Click to expand...

Like always, when things look bad to your side, you just start trying yo "kill the thread" and "call the mods" to delete everything you don´t like, and something they do that.
 
general situation: `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. << NOT a command to do something

What we should do:
So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser.'"
 
Last edited:
AhLÄÄM said:
:salamext:
That's called 'attraction' mate.
Click to expand...

No I dont think so. I pass by very atractive woman everyday, but it is very rare that I fall in love with them, in fact both of the times that I fell in true love were at first sight. I would never risk my life and marry someone who I have no idea if I will get to love or not. Its just a stupid thing to do, and only those who have never known to true love would do so.
 
:salamext:

Its just a stupid thing to do, and only those who have never known to true love would do so.
Click to expand...

How do u know if I have or I haven't been in love?! Don't make assumptions.

Love grows over a period of time. It doesn't happen 'suddenly'.
 
snakelegs said:
you have a point.
but i think that what most of us in the west see as "love" is nothing but sexual attraction and when the excitement wears off, so does the "love", which is why such a huge percentage of marriages end in divorce.
love and sexual attraction are not at all the same thing.
Click to expand...

:sl:

Peace be upon those who follow the guidance, and Snakelegs too!

this reminds me of a lecture by Mufti Ismail Menk. in said lecture, the Mufti attributed the "sexual attraction" to Shaytaan because Shaytaan is just trying to get the 2 people to commit zeena! the Mufti then spoke about how some people, AS SOON AS THEY ARE MARRIED, start to hate each other; THAT is Shaytaan just trying to break up a God-sanctioned union!

as a westerner, we would see it as similar to seeing someone and "falling in love", but the second that you "get out of bed" you can no longer remember what the heck you saw in the person in the first place! at any rate, Shaytaan is happy because you just committed fornification!

see the similarity?

:sl:
 
Well I'm asuming that you have never experienced true love, for I would never attempt to love a person, and arranged marriage is all about attempting to love a person.

A guy finds a responsible girl with a nice family perhaps. Now that, That is done left is to live the rest of your life with the partner, and in order to live your entire life with a partner love must be present, so now they attempt to....Create the love...

True love happens suddenly, and is strengthen over time, at least that is what I believe.
 
NoName55 said:
general situation: `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. << NOT a command to do something

What we should do:
So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser.'"
Click to expand...

but beauty is "in the game".
 
krypton6 said:
Well I'm asuming that you have never experienced true love, for I would never attempt to love a person, and arranged marriage is all about attempting to love a person.
Click to expand...

You can assume all you like. You don't know me mate.

True love happens suddenly, and is strengthen over time, at least that is what I believe.
Click to expand...

Load of *edited*. :-\ What happens 'suddenly' is attraction and lust, which leads to major things. :-\
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar Threads

Back
Top