So it must be held to be Haram to have a date.
My own mind is always in a great difficulty in respect of needing a Husband. Because I am totally not culturally enabled to join with mainstream Australian practises.
Even before I re-found my indigenous identity, and became a Muslim, I was always, all my life, terrified by the dating rituals and all that, and so never participated in any mainstream boy girl getting to know each other stuff.
But because the rest of my upbringing was totally mainstream Aussie, it is sort of awkward at the best of times among the majority of the Aboriginal population, although eventually a traditional man tracked me down from a Dream he had and made me a formal proposal. But he would not commit to what I need from a Husband, although he has included me into traditional Pitjintjatjara Kinship, whom, as the custodians of Uluru are an important people, (even if that job is not really well regarded in our old way, in Islam it is alike to owning responsiblity to manage the land adjacent to Ka'ba). But most of the nicest Aborigine men are well married young because there are more nice young women around than men. Same among Arabs, and not being an Arabic speaker, why would an Arab marry me. And so few ordinary Australian men have any inkling as to what Islam really is. Even believers here in Jesus were being lied to and misinformed that Islam is just a cop out of responsibility. Hopefully that problem is being remedied now, and can be remedied quite rapidly, if not very openly. But the fight is a fight between the American evangelists control of Australian churches, and Indigenous control.
But what I need to tell is that the fact of the matter is that as a girl, I simply can not engage in any consideration of any possiblity of any marital like relations with any male, unless he shares cultural belief with me. That is because if the male in the equation is in a different culture, then the female can only experience his approach to her alike to being raped. This is because of the nature of the mechanisms of culture.
I was recently approached by an ordinary mainstream white Australian man, who was really very nice, and interested in me, and possibly even could be able to provide as I need if he could only convert to Islam. But that he had not any culture within which I could relate to him without compromising my own beliefs, meant that we failed to be able to regulate any future meeting. So I guess I will not be marrying any mainstream regular Aussie guy.
But why are there Muslim men in America who can not find a wife, when in many other Muslim oriented communities there are more girls unable to find a Husband?
Salam
