Who am I? PLS READ Difficult times

[Mustafa16]

I am scared, because I don' know who I am anymore....
I don't want to be a part of the Gulen movement due to them kicking me out of all religious activities for youth...and due to independent investigation I am starting to believe they aren't who they say they are and they have more sinister motives @anatolian
I have trouble identifying as a Turk due to what I perceive as the backwardsness of the people....(racism, religious bigotry, worshipping the state, corruption, etc.)
I can not visit my old mosque because of the bad encounter I had there...and the fact that those Turkish guys visit every week on Friday halakhas...
I have trouble fitting in with mainstream Islam, because of the obliviousness of the regular Muslims to what Is going on in Turkey to my family members (btw, I forgot to mention, a few weeks ago, they arrested my uncle, who got fired from his job as a schoolteacher and had his teaching license and passport seized)..... and my conflicting feelings about whether or not gulenists are innocent or if they are really a "parallel state" and the fact that I get so angry when I hear some muslim saying "I love Erdogan!" when they only see the things on the surface....
I can not convert to another religion because I fear Jahannam....
I also can not be a Kemalist because of my problems with Turks and islam that is too liberal......
I can not date in college.....
I can not get married to someone from the masjid with the imam's help because I can not go to the masjid (except one other one, but same problems there as well).....
and I can not marry a gulenist......but I know some gulenist girls and I know that if I leave hizmet I may have a broken heart.......

I want to be a good Muslim....but I am going through a very difficult trial.....
EDIT: [MENTION=36383]MuslimInshallah[/MENTION]

 

[azc]

^ May Allah swt shower his mercy upon you and keep you steadfast on deen. Ameen

 

[ardianto]

Assalamualaikum, Mustafa.

I could not become airplane pilot because I wear glasses since I was 18. But I still could drive car, even I've ever compete in autorally. I could not study in engineering like my father, due to my weakness in math. So I studied in faculty of economic. Alhamdulillah, from my business I can fulfill my family need.

Do you know Mustafa?, everyone must be ever faced situation of "I cannot do this because ......... I cannot get this because .....". But this situation is not a reason for give up. If you cannot do this way, just find another way to do it. If you cannot get what you want, just find alternative that you can choose.

You cannot marry a Gulenist woman?. There are many women who do not support Gulen movement. You cannot date in college?. Finish your college, get a job, marry a woman, then you can have love story with your wife. You cannot be a Kemalist?. ..... Who said you should become Kemalist?. Just be yourself!. Choose your own way, live your own life. Don't let other people dictate you!.

Be yourself, and be a strong man, Mustafa. Don't let obstacle become the barriers to reach your dreams.

 

[anatolian]

Mustafa you just need to do what I have told you before. Just relax and seperate yourself from all those trouble around you. Pray to Allah as much as you can and live the religion within yourself.

 

[M.I.A.]

what keeps you where you are?

 

[Akeyi]

I am scared, because I don' know who I am anymore....
I don't want to be a part of the Gulen movement due to them kicking me out of all religious activities for youth...and due to independent investigation I am starting to believe they aren't who they say they are and they have more sinister motives @anatolian
I have trouble identifying as a Turk due to what I perceive as the backwardsness of the people....(racism, religious bigotry, worshipping the state, corruption, etc.)
I can not visit my old mosque because of the bad encounter I had there...and the fact that those Turkish guys visit every week on Friday halakhas...
I have trouble fitting in with mainstream Islam, because of the obliviousness of the regular Muslims to what Is going on in Turkey to my family members (btw, I forgot to mention, a few weeks ago, they arrested my uncle, who got fired from his job as a schoolteacher and had his teaching license and passport seized)..... and my conflicting feelings about whether or not gulenists are innocent or if they are really a "parallel state" and the fact that I get so angry when I hear some muslim saying "I love Erdogan!" when they only see the things on the surface....
I can not convert to another religion because I fear Jahannam....
I also can not be a Kemalist because of my problems with Turks and islam that is too liberal......
I can not date in college.....
I can not get married to someone from the masjid with the imam's help because I can not go to the masjid (except one other one, but same problems there as well).....
and I can not marry a gulenist......but I know some gulenist girls and I know that if I leave hizmet I may have a broken heart.......

I want to be a good Muslim....but I am going through a very difficult trial.....
EDIT: @MuslimInshallah

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I don't want to be a part of the Gulen movement due to them kicking me out of all religious activities for youth

So we need to talk about GULEN OR RISALE I NUR.

First risale-i nur it is one the most powerful books about islam. It explains questions comes with modern world. It helped millions of people learn "their own" religion. And helped others in other lands other than Turkey. For example esspecially in germany they have really powerful community.
Like any big thing this community became splitted. GULEN movement wanted to use this powerful book for their own good.

The widely used phrase Auzu Basmala means to say; Auzu billahi minash-shaytanirrajim (I take refuge in Allah from the accursed Devil) and Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Writer of this book said I take refuge in Allah from the politics.

But there are parts of this books which touches to politics. But it is %1 of the book. But islam already have orders about how to lead but that is another subject.

And the times this book written is the times GREATEST attacks happened to islam. So people were hungry to this kind of thing. So it gathered a HUGE COMMUNITY. One who leads this community could do so much great things.

I guess Fethullah gülen wanted to be like Humeyni. And if you ask me fethullah gülen could very easily make a coup if all community of risalei nur would supported him. It is the greatest islamic community in turkey.

that is what i am thinking. But if erdoğan or others try to attack this book they would be entered a war they can not win. Because risalei nur is just the defender of islam from modern world's atheistic questions.

worshipping the state,

In turkisch traditions combined with islam. ISLAMIC STATE IS HOLY. It always was. And in the time of the osmanische reich leader of the state was Khalif von Rasulullah and
was servant of the mecca and medina and the leader who got compliment of prophet Muhammed SAV.
And because of the turks are muslims and will be muslims forever they sacrifice they can ever have to this cause.

A writer said

Turk has to be a muslim to be a turk.

So it is obvious.

I can not date in college.....
I can not get married to someone from the masjid I can not marry a gulenist......but I know some gulenist girls and I know that if I leave hizmet I may have a broken heart

What you wrote is already a prove that gülen's view of hizmet is not same as risale i nur. Because one who reads risalei nur and wants to be student of it Generally dont have time to get married and they dont. But i guess it is different in gulen's part. Because i read that our prophet said it better to be hafifül haz in akhir zaman. SAV

For you best advice is this.

Go to another community who reads risale i nur. Simple as that. Even greatest reason why Erdoğan leads turkey, kadir mısıroğlu says that i dont even fully apprecite erdoğan.

But like one of my friends in this board said

maybe he is not the emirül müminin we want but he is the one we have.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum [MENTION=38474]Mustafa16[/MENTION],


(smile) I remember a time I felt very confused and fearful. So many dark thoughts worried at the edges of my ragged soul, that I felt paralyzed. (smile) It was also hard to sleep and think clearly! So I reached out for help, and was directed to meet a woman. She listened to my woes and fears, and then offered a brief opinion on a particular matter. And then, to my surprise, she asked me if I could read Arabic. I said yes. She asked if I could devote half an hour a day to reading the Qur'an. Half and hour...! I blanched. I was feeling so overwhelmed, that I felt that I couldn't squeeze any more minutes out of my day. She saw my reaction, and quickly asked whether I could do 15 minutes? 15 minutes... I felt a bit ashamed. Surely I could give just 15 minutes of my time for the sake of God? So I agreed. "Read Surah Al-Baqarah" she said, "For 15 minutes every night. "Ok" I said. She smiled widely, and added quickly "And 10 minutes in the morning." I opened my mouth, and closed it. What is 10 minutes? "Ok," I agreed, "And 10 minutes in the morning."

And so, I started to read Surah Al-Baqarah. My Arabic was rusty and slow, and I understood almost nothing of what I was reading. But little by little, I struggled with the Surah, in 10 and 15 minute (timed) chunks, no matter how sleep tugged at my eyelids at night. And bit by bit, it became a routine that became comfortable.

Still, I was impatient to end and gain the woman's next piece of advice on how to deal with my life. So when I had finished reading the Surah over once, I phoned her. "I've finished!" I announced, feeling a little accomplished, "What do I do now?" "Read it again" She replied. It wasn't quite what I was looking for, but I thought to myself "You know, this routine is helping me to sleep better. So why not?" And so I read the Surah over again. This time it flowed more smoothly and I was able to finish it faster. I tried to contact the woman again. But for some reason, she was unreachable. So I decided to continue and do the Surah over again.

This time, the words flowed so well, that I began to notice words that kept popping up. "I wonder what those mean?" I asked myself, "And I wonder what is being said?". So I dug out my Arabic-English dictionary and a translation of the Qur'an. In the evenings, when I was more tired, I read the translation and commentary. In the mornings, I read a page and picked out a word to search the meaning of.

It was curious, I thought to myself one day. I felt rather good. I was dealing with my problems far better than I expected that I would have been able to. Life seemed to be settling down. I no longer tried to contact the woman. I just kept on going.

Word by word, page by page, the Qur'an started to come alive to me. I started to understand phrases, ideas popped up, and mysteries appeared like tangled skeins of wool awaiting gentle fingers to untangle them. Every day, I would delve into the Qur'an, like a seabird diving for fish. I stopped precisely timing myself, and noticed that the time I spent on the Qur'an stretched into more like 30 minutes or more in the mornings, and 10 or 15 at night. And I felt good. (smile) My terrible problems started to be resolved. And I discovered that I had more strength that I had imagined. I found myself venturing into new territories that I had formerly been to shy or nervous to enter.

(smile) Anyway, to cut a long story short, I continued, and continue to read or recite the Qur'an every day. And good things continue to wash up on my shores, unexpected Gifts from God. (laugh) This does not mean that I have no more problems! I still do, of course. Life is supposed to be a struggle to learn and grow ever closer to our Creator. But these problems are no longer so overwhelming. And rather than finding myself in the company of people who lead you to dark places, good people have been gradually entering my life, adding warmth and companionship.

(smile) So Mustafa, my dear young man... I offer you this challenge: can you make a little time in your day, every day, to seek Allah? I don't know what your level of abilities are. But could you perhaps start reading a little of the Qur'an every day? (smile) Surah Al Baqarah, perhaps? If not in Arabic, then a translation with some commentary (Yahiya Emerick's is the most accessible one, I have found, especially for young people)? (smile) Don't take on more than you can comfortably do; you can always increase later, you know. Take on only what you are sure you can do every day. Even when you are sick, or tired, or have exams. (twinkle) Though if you want to do a little extra some days... why not?

Because when you are in the shadows enveloped by swarms of doubts like gnats, you need a little Light to clear the air.

(smile) Finally, if you feel you need some guidance... why not ask Allah to Guide you? To send people and things into your life that can teach you how to get closer to Him? (smile) I pray you will find a way, Mustafa.


May Allah, the Compassionate, the Wise, Gift the sincere seekers with the strength to persevere.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Mustafa16;

You can either let all your problems drag you down to absolute depression, or you try and do something about them. You might ask, how often do I need to do anything? And the answer is always the same, just one more time. You might live another eighty years, so you need patience, perseverance, determination and resilience. Problems never go away, we deal with one, and two more come along, this still happens at my age, and I am only 67.

Failure only becomes failure when you give up.

And on the subject of marriage, you might think it is tough getting married, but in todays world, the bigger challenge is to stay married until death do us part.

Pray for the wisdom, strength and the peace to do the will of Allah.

In the spirit of never giving up hope in Allah.

Eric