Who in this situation is sinning?

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Blooming.Flower

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Assalomu Alaykum,


Pretend a muslimah is 100% ready to wear the hijab. She asks her mom, but each time, her mom says no. She knows that if parents go against Allah(SWT)'s words, then she can disobey her parents.

Who in this sitaution is sinning:

The mother who is not letting her daughter wear the hijab?
or
The daughter for listening to her mother and not Allah(SWT)?
 
the mother for doing jihad against her daughter to make her disobey Allah,
and the daughter for exposing herself to an indecent community.

hell, i've seen schoolgirls remove their salwar when they were at the bus stop on their way to school when i was little, just because their parents refused to allow them out with their legs exposed,
on the opposite note..........couldn't these girls put a hijab on if their parents deterred them?
(although i believe the best way is to remain adamant and show the parents your strength of faith while being nice to them).

here's a good source:
http://fight4allah.blogspot.com/2008/06/obedience-to-parents-in-islam.html
 
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Abz2000 said:
the mother for doing jihad against her daughter to make her disobey Allah,
and the daughter for exposing herself to an indecent community.

hell, i've seen schoolgirls remove their salwar when they were at the bus stop on their way to school when i was little, just because their parents refused to allow them out with their legs exposed,
on the opposite note..........couldn't these girls put a hijab on?
(although i believe the best way is to remain adamant and show the parents your strength of faith).
Click to expand...

But doesn't the intention count for the daughter? Isn't it all about intention?
 
apologies sis, just saw your reply,
i went through the dilemma of obedience until very recently, until i realized that i would be dragged to hell, the place where my mother, brothers and sisters would disown me.
Alhamdulillah, my father didn't go through the fitnah of misleading me while he was alive.

the remainder of my family have insisted on the ways of kufr until i am on the brink of divorce due to my wife obeying them and my having lost trust in her.
 
Blooming.Flower said:
Assalomu Alaykum,


Pretend a muslimah is 100% ready to wear the hijab. She asks her mom, but each time, her mom says no. She knows that if parents go against Allah(SWT)'s words, then she can disobey her parents.

Who in this sitaution is sinning:

The mother who is not letting her daughter wear the hijab?
or
The daughter for listening to her mother and not Allah(SWT)?
Click to expand...

:sl:

I'm not going to say who's sinning and who's not, but my advice to the daughter is to be persistent and in polite manner to wear hijab (and remember, she doesn't have to wear hijab when in the house with family).
I'm sure sooner or later the mother will come around and see that the daughter is right.
 
:skeleton:
Ramadhan said:
I'm not going to say who's sinning and who's not, but my advice to the daughter is to be persistent and in polite manner to wear hijab (and remember, she doesn't have to wear hijab when in the house with family).
I'm sure sooner or later the mother will come around and see that the daughter is right.
Click to expand...
totally agree.
 
The mother is the sinner here as she is preventing her from doing what is right. The answer is found here where Abraham Disobeyed his father

019.041 (Also mention in the Book (the story of) Abraham: He was a man of Truth, a prophet.
019.042 Behold, he said to his father: "O my father! why worship that which heareth not and seeth not, and can profit thee nothing?
019.043 "O my father! to me hath come knowledge which hath not reached thee: so follow me: I will guide thee to a way that is even and straight.
019.044 "O my father! serve not Satan: for Satan is a rebel against (God) Most Gracious.
019.045 "O my father! I fear lest a Penalty afflict thee from (God) Most Gracious, so that thou become to Satan a friend."
019.046 (The father) replied: "Dost thou hate my gods, O Abraham? If thou forbear not, I will indeed stone thee: Now get away from me for a good long while!"
019.047 Abraham said: "Peace be on thee: I will pray to my Lord for thy forgiveness: for He is to me Most Gracious.
019.048 "And I will turn away from you (all) and from those whom ye invoke besides God: I will call on my Lord:perhaps, by my prayer to my Lord, I shall be not unblest."


Thus In matters pertaining to religion ,they can be disobeyed but daughter still need to treat her mother with respect.
 
Blooming.Flower said:
Assalomu Alaykum,


Pretend a muslimah is 100% ready to wear the hijab. She asks her mom, but each time, her mom says no. She knows that if parents go against Allah(SWT)'s words, then she can disobey her parents.

Who in this sitaution is sinning:

The mother who is not letting her daughter wear the hijab?
or
The daughter for listening to her mother and not Allah(SWT)?
Click to expand...

Have you asked your mother the reason why she doesn't want you to wear it? Do you live in a racist/white dominated area? These are things that may be on her mind thats why she doesn't want you to wear it, cos she's afraid of your safety. Try and probe her mind nicely to find out what troubles her about you wearing the hijab then re-assure her about whatever is troubling her about you wearing it.

I would not be so quick to say your mother is sinning as she may have reasons such as I mentioned or know of some danger that could arise by you wearing it etc so try to establish why she does not want you to wear it first and then proceed from there. And remember that she has your best interests at heart.

remain patient through this trial and all ways conduct yourself with the best of manners and never get frustrated with your mother, once you determine her concerns for not letting you wear the hijaab you can begin tackling those concerns gently.

Many problems can be solved with good communication and deep conversations where both people open up to each other and talk about what's troubling them etc.
 
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:sl:

Is there a specific reason to why the mother is not allowing the sister to wear the hijab?
 
Excuse Two: I am convinced of Islamic dress but my mother prevents me from wearing it and if I disobey her I will go to the Fire.

The one who has answered this excuse is the most noble of Allah's creation, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) in concise and comprehensive words of wisdom: There is no obedience to the created in the disobedience of Allah. [Ahmed]

The status of parents in Islam, especially the mother, is a high and elevated one. Indeed Allah ta'aala has combined it with the greatest of matters, worshipping Him and His tawheed, in many aayaat. He stated: Worship Allah and join none with Him and do good to parent [Soorah An-Nisaa 4:36]

Obedience to parents is not limited except in one aspect, and that is if they order to disobedience of Allah. Allah said: But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. [Soorah Luqmaan 31:15] The lack of obedience to them in sinfulness does not prevent being good to them and kind treatment of them. Allah said afterward in the same aayah: But behave with them in the world kindly.

In summary: How can you obey your mother and disobey Allah Who created you and your mother?



reference

http://www.answering-christianity.com/top_11_excuses_of_not_wearing_hijab.htm
 
Salahudeen said:
Have you asked your mother the reason why she doesn't want you to wear it? Do you live in a racist/white dominated area? These are things that may be on her mind thats why she doesn't want you to wear it, cos she's afraid of your safety. Try and probe her mind nicely to find out what troubles her about you wearing the hijab then re-assure her about whatever is troubling her about you wearing it.

I would not be so quick to say your mother is sinning as she may have reasons such as I mentioned or know of some danger that could arise by you wearing it etc so try to establish why she does not want you to wear it first and then proceed from there. And remember that she has your best interests at heart.

remain patient through this trial and all ways conduct yourself with the best of manners and never get frustrated with your mother, once you determine her concerns for not letting you wear the hijaab you can begin tackling those concerns gently.

Many problems can be solved with good communication and deep conversations where both people open up to each other and talk about what's troubling them etc.
Click to expand...

Assalomu Alaykum,

I am very sorry it took me so long to reply.

I overheard why, but you might say, "Oh just tell her that a man will love to marry a woman with hijab."

She said that it would be hard for me to get married. In my country(which I prefer not to tell), women wear the hijab after they are married so if you wear a hijab, the first thing a man will think is, "Oh, she is married." She thinks no one will want to marry me.

BUT.

I want to tell her that is Allah(SWT) wants me to marry someone, I will and if He doesn't, then I won't. I can't tell her that though.

She said I can wear after I get married, but I want to wear it now:cry:
 
Blooming.Flower said:
Assalomu Alaykum,

I am very sorry it took me so long to reply.

I overheard why, but you might say, "Oh just tell her that a man will love to marry a woman with hijab."

She said that it would be hard for me to get married. In my country(which I prefer not to tell), women wear the hijab after they are married so if you wear a hijab, the first thing a man will think is, "Oh, she is married." She thinks no one will want to marry me.

BUT.

I want to tell her that is Allah(SWT) wants me to marry someone, I will and if He doesn't, then I won't. I can't tell her that though.

She said I can wear after I get married, but I want to wear it now:cry:
Click to expand...

This is common in my culture also lol, they tell men not to grow beards and wait till after marriage cos it will be hard to get married with a beard :hmm:

It's hard situation to be in, perhaps you could play lectures around her that talk about the importance of hijaab so she understands how important it is. Part of being a Muslim is realizing if someone/something is decreed for you then no matter how hard you try to avoid it, it will come to you, and if something is not destined for you, no matter how hard you try to achieve it you won't be able to.

Tell her you want a pious man and good pious men want women in hijaab but I think the best way is to make her aware of the importance of hijaab, show her what the prophet (saw) said about it etc you can do it indirectly by just playing lectures on hijaab around her in her native language.

I don't mean to intrude and if I am tell me, but how come you can't tell her what you said about Allah will make you marry someone if he wants to, because its the truth you spoke. Will she take it as disrespectful coming from you? If so, is there not any knowledgeable person in your family who could possibly advise her to let you wear it? An aunty or uncle? A good righteous aunty and uncle not a gossiping one ;D

Don't be sad, Allah see's and hears everything and he understands your situation is hard, have sabr inshaAllah :) The Muslim empire wasn't built overnight :)

How about your father, fathers find it hard to say no to their daughters requests I've heard lol, so maybe if he knew how you felt he'd convince her to let you wear it?
 
Salahudeen said:
This is common in my culture also lol, they tell men not to grow beards and wait till after marriage cos it will be hard to get married with a beard

It's hard situation to be in, perhaps you could play lectures around her that talk about the importance of hijaab so she understands how important it is. Part of being a Muslim is realizing if someone/something is decreed for you then no matter how hard you try to avoid it, it will come to you, and if something is not destined for you, no matter how hard you try to achieve it you won't be able to.

Tell her you want a pious man and good pious men want women in hijaab but I think the best way is to make her aware of the importance of hijaab, show her what the prophet (saw) said about it etc you can do it indirectly by just playing lectures on hijaab around her in her native language.

I don't mean to intrude and if I am tell me, but how come you can't tell her what you said about Allah will make you marry someone if he wants to, because its the truth you spoke. Will she take it as disrespectful coming from you? If so, is there not any knowledgeable person in your family who could possibly advise her to let you wear it? An aunty or uncle? A good righteous aunty and uncle not a gossiping one

Don't be sad, Allah see's and hears everything and he understands your situation is hard, have sabr inshaAllah The Muslim empire wasn't built overnight

How about your father, fathers find it hard to say no to their daughters requests I've heard lol, so maybe if he knew how you felt he'd convince her to let you wear it?
Click to expand...

Believe me, my dad has tried. He doesn't mind, but when he asks my mom, my mom says no.
 
Blooming.Flower said:
She said that it would be hard for me to get married. In my country(which I prefer not to tell), women wear the hijab after they are married so if you wear a hijab, the first thing a man will think is, "Oh, she is married." She thinks no one will want to marry me.
Click to expand...

This is also quite common attitude in my country.
But you know what, hijabi sisters do get married, and from women I know (work, relatives, etc) there are more non-hijabi sisters who are not married yet even well in their thirties.

Who knows, you'll attract good men when you are wearing hijab, and you are only attracting jerks when you're not wearing it. We don't know the future, and if we obey Allah, then we shouldn't be too worried about our worldly affairs Insha Allah.
 
Assalamualaikum.

I forbade my 'girl in the past' wear hijab because I didn't want she looked like a villager or uneducated woman.

That's happened when I believed, hijab is symbol of extremism and not obligated for Muslim women, and I believed, women who wore hijab are "ancient women" who let themselves oppressed by men. Even, don't be shocked, I believed Islam is not suitable for modern life.

But my view began to change after I see what those hijabi sister had done in society. They gave free education to poor people, established business, became scientists, etc. It's opened my eyes to see the truth, in Islam, women are not oppressed people. And I started to learn Islam again. And now I believe, Islam is suitable for all age.

Alhamdulillah, now I can see hijabi women in everywhere in my place. And my honest opinion as a male, they are beautiful.
 

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